Do you feel you still have to obsess about food?

[Bandista 7,466]

Getting the appetite monster off of my back has been such a relief! I am no longer driven by that hunger and obsessing over whether I am on or off a plan, etc. I have a new normal. Every one is different and you will find what works for you. I am happy to report that I still love food, just in much smaller quantities and eaten at appropriate intervals. I am not on a diet but I eat smart and listen to my body. I do not deprive myself -- that mentality did not serve me well during all those years I'd dieting and regain. There's a part of me that enjoys being "in food" -- I'm a cook. I hardly taste now when I'm cooking (not hungry!) but I enjoy the display and presentation, the textures, aromas and notion of preparing food for others to enjoy. It's all good!

[needtorecover 574]

I've also noticed little things that I never paid attention to before. I was at the grocery store after work and I'd always get myself a snack to eat on the way home. Like a doughnut, or a corn dog, or small box of California rolls... I told myself I was good and could get a snack and I found myself bouncing from one food item to the next setting it down thinking "No, too sweet... no, too filling... no, too salty..." and ended up just leaving without a snack. Not because I told myself "no" but because I just didn't want anything.

food commercials would set me off too. When I was at the gym last night I was watching a verging-on-pornographic commercial from Taco Bell (you know, lifting the quesadilla so you can see all the stringy cheese while someone is speaking in a husky voice in the background describing it in detail) and I felt nothing. Normally those commercials set me up for obsessive thinking and cause a downward spiral to the point where I stop at the drive thru on my way home and binge on nachos. Nothing.

Sorry, off topic, but it's just really interesting to me. It's showing me how deeply the odds have been stacked against me all along. Temptations peppered all over the grocery store, food advertisements designed by people who know exactly what buttons to push, how quick and easy it is to just grab something high in calories... It's no wonder obesity is such a huge problem in our country.

[Babbs 14,681]

@@VSGAnn2014 said it best. Mindful and disciplined is probably a better word than obsessed. To lose all of our excess weight and keep it off, we have to be. I was one who used to say that I didn't want to have to "diet" the rest of my life and that's why I had the surgery, and I was right. I'm not dieting, just being more mindful of what's going into my mouth.

I think the biggest change has been the way I look at food now. food is not the enemy, but my attitude towards it can be.

[Rogofulm 2,440]

Yeah, if you want to call it "obsessing". I still think about what I'm going to eat all the time. But from a much better perspective. I've kind of gotten to the "eat to live" part of the journey. Don't get me wrong, I still have to make good choices every time, and I struggle with wanting to feel full all day long, but I try to manage it with healthy choices. My family will tell you that I obsess about THEIR eating habits more than my own. The hardest part is trying not to be critical of their food choices. And I often fail at this. My wife and daughter call me "Mr. No Fun" when it comes to food. I can live with that, but I need to get better about not imposing my lifestyle on them.

[Julie norton 2,850]

I'm with bandista here. It feels like these past 8 years were the new normal.

It took about a year and a half for me to really get that life was not gonna be the same . I didn't have to obsess about food , weight, overeating ( the band made sure of that). How many times was I gonna get the message that I cannot eat a certain food or overeat on ANY food? My thick skull and years of poor choices took a few hundred. Yes hundreds ! of reconditioning steps to get to a point of peace with shopping cooking and eating.

Feels like I don't have that internal struggle and I am SO THANKFUL!![emoji93] I gave the fight up and now just go with the choices I'm sure suit me.

I wish that for all WLS patients!

[Sajijoma 1,324]

For me, before I had rny, my every thought was about food to some degree. What was I eating, was it a good thing to eat, what was I going to eat next, and what I was having for dinner. Then it was what I was having for Snacks. It was a never ending cycle and my stomach ruled me. I was always hungry even after finishing a meal stuffed to my eyeballs. The surgery gave me freedom from that feeling. I'm a little over 3 months out now and I do feel hunger from time to time(not often but from time to time), but it's not that beast that it was. It's like "oh, I'm hungry. Maybe I should eat something" Not "I'M HUNGRY!!! FEED ME NOW OR DIE!!!!!" It's a very doable kind of feeling. I don't suffer at all like I did before trying to battle the hunger beast. My biggest thing though is reading labels. I am absolutely shocked by how much hidden sugar is in everything we eat. When you've got a 4-5g cap on sugar per meal, you learn to make better choices and that does require a lot of reading. You may still have head hunger(I've been dying for stuffed crust pizza) but it's not something I go and do because it's not in my plan. I make substitutes like using a low carb tortilla for a crust and going heavier on Protein and veggies and lighter on cheese and sauce. It's just something you have to learn. But it is so much better and easier to handle after surgery. I've become a quick learner that that for every unhealthy food you like and crave, there is a healthier and possibly even more delicious alternative from pizza, to burgers, to "fried" chicken, to whatever you can think of. You don't have to feel like you are living a never ending diet post op.

[Rogofulm 2,440]

I agree with @Sajijoma. Although I don't eat any of the the crap I loved and craved before WLS, I don't feel like I'm on a diet. In fact, post-surgery it never felt like a diet. It's just a new and healthier way of eating. Surprisingly, choosing not to be tempted by those old foods is pretty liberating. Go figure...

[MichiganChic 3,262]

There are some days I feel obsessed about food. Probably when I'm stressed. I'm a stress eater, and not eating causes more stress. Those are the times it is the hardest. Most of the time I would say I am diligent. I am one who has to track and count, weigh and measure, or I will graze myself right up to 300 pounds. My sleeve doesn't offer the restriction some people report, either, so I could eat enough calories even without grazing if I make bad choices.

I do feel like I'm on a permanent diet, but it doesn't bother me. So far it's working, and that makes it worth the effort.

[librarianlk 26]

There are some days I feel obsessed about food. Probably when I'm stressed. I'm a stress eater, and not eating causes more stress. Those are the times it is the hardest. Most of the time I would say I am diligent.

Diligent is a good word. I hope that is my experience.

[librarianlk 26]

@@VSGAnn2014 those are good words, mindful and diligent. Good things to strive for!

[Bufflehead 6,358]

In a way, I do still obsess about food, but not in the same way. I weigh or measure my portions, track everything on myfitnesspal, and make sure I hit my targets for carbs, fat, calories, Protein, and Fiber (most days -- some days I might miss here or there). I am far enough post-op that I do have hunger and cravings back, but not as intensely as they were pre-surgery. Still, I watch and calculate and think about what I eat a lot.

It gets tiresome, but for me, I need to do it. Some folks have urged me (or everyone, in a more general sense) to stop obsessing, stop logging, stop counting, and have a "normal, natural" relationship with food. I look at it a different way. I have a disease, obesity, and it is currently in remission. I need to be vigilant and work to keep it in remission. It may not be fair, but that is my life.

I wouldn't tell someone with diabetes to stop obsessing with sugar and quit measuring their insulin levels and just have a "normal, natural" relationship with food. And imagine someone who has a serious problem with shopping addiction and spending money carelessly. Say they get into a terrible financial predicament, have their house foreclosed on, have to file bankruptcy, and end up sleeping with their dog under a bridge for several weeks. Then they get their act together, learn how to budget and spend wisely, and swear off online shopping forever. They build their credit back up and eventually are able to rent a nice apartment and even start some savings. Would you tell that person: "oh, it's obsessive of you to check your bank balance so frequently and be so rigid about following your budget. You should chuck those apps from your phone and develop a normal relationship with money where you don't think about it, don't budget, and spend what you want. After all, if you get hit with some overdraft fees from the bank, you'll know you need to get back on track. And by the way, why don't you do some moderate shopping on Amazon? Everything in moderation, right? If you don't do some moderate online shopping, you might get obsessed and then just go crazy and spend everything you have. So it's really better to shop a little here and there. Go buy yourself something right now!"

No, you probably wouldn't. I look at myself the same way. I do have to stay a bit obsessed with food and be vigilant for the rest of my life. I doubt I will ever have a "normal" relationship with food where I just don't think about it very much or care what I eat or when. But that's a small price for having a healthy body and being free from being in the active phase of obesity.

YMMV of course.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Jeez, @@Bufflehead !

That's the same conversation I have with my shrink. Constantly!

Thank you. Very well said!

[Bufflehead 6,358]

@@VSGAnn2014 I swear I have not bugged your shrink's office!

[The Candidate 3,215]

I have to say that I'm actually more obsessive with food now as a post op than I ever was as a pre op.

Before surgery I ate what, when, and in very large quantities, everything I wanted. I never even considered not having food, so there was no obsessive internal struggle going on. After being fat nearly all my life, I had given up, almost resigned to the fact that I would never break away from the yo-yo dieting cycle, so why even try anymore?

You know how they say that when you're actively looking for something, like love, or happiness, or losing weight, but can't find it, then maybe it's time to stop the search and let it find you. That's how I feel about WLS. When I finally stopped the pretense of thinking I could do this by myself, despite my long resume of past failures, that was when when I first seriously considered having WLS. That's when I felt the near forgotten feelings of hope and determination awaken again.

I never had any real awareness of food before surgery. What's there to obsess over when I had 24/7 access to anything I wanted. It was only after surgery that I began approaching food in a healthier manner. I give it careful thought now and I have a long list of forbidden foods, like bread, rice, Pasta, and sweets. I only drink Water too.

Before I gave no thought whatsoever to what I ate. Now there's a cover charge: does it adhere to my surgeon's recommendations, is it processed or natural, does it have too many sugars or carbs, etc. If it doesn't meet that criteria than I don't eat it. Plain and simple. I refuse to go back, even a single step, to the way I was before. My surgery took the blinders off, and so my obsession only came into play after surgery. And it's an obsession that I am truly grateful for, each and every day,

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[BarrySue 602]

I was obsessed was quite some time. For months, I would go to the grocery store and spend an hour there just touching/handling my old favorite foods. Sometimes I'd put them in my cart and empty them before I hit the register. Other times I would buy them and not be able to eat them. Occasionally I'd try to eat the, only to be disappointed because nothing tasted good anymore, and even if it tasted good, I couldn't get that feeling of satisfied fullness. After about five months, I settled down and the obsessive/anxious tendencies went away.

You're not a robot. You're not going to deprogram. But as time goes on, it gets easier. Just hang in there.