How to find a counselor

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Okay I am not a big believer in talk therapy because I have experience of spending 2 years dredging through my childhood with nothing to show for it....that was a long time ago.

In recent times I have seen someone who has been very very helpful, as her philosophy is more akin to mine - look forward not back at stuff you can't change. I don't go regularly but have seen her intermittently for about 2 years.

However, I feel the need to make a change. I want some life coaching to be perfectly honest. I have some crossroads to navigate and I have a sense of not really knowing myself on these topics. My current counselor has become biased...example I was looking into retiring young in central América. I explored the idea and decided it isn't right for me, at least as a single person it isn't what I want. It's like she is so mesmerized by my fairly well thought out, but now rejected plan that she isn't "open" to my ongoing exploration.

I don't ever talk about food or eating issues because they are well in hand but as a wise woman once said "you don't get to 300 # without having some kind if issue " I prefer someone who has understanding and experience with the really big changes in my life since losing weight because all that change is both my opportunity and fuels my uncertainty.

Anyway, I have had several disappointing experiences with counselors and the woman I have now is great...but I need a coach or mentor... a fresh set of eyes so to speak.

So, how do you find a good one? Dumb luck was how I found current one.

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[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

I believe you started out right by asking the question.

Knowing what you need is also a big step in the right direction.

Do you want someone local you can see independently or are you open to someone you can communicate with remotely?

I have a friend who does some coaching. I haven't used her services but am contemplating doing so when I get closer to goal so I can only vouch for her as a personal friend. I believe she does group work and one-on-one counseling. I'll PM you her website.

You might also want to look at an organization that provides credentials to coaching.

You might ask your other physicians (your PCP, etc.) if they know of someone.

I am looking forward to seeing the responses you receive from this post.

[skinnyrita 188]

Hi. Cowgirl Jane. Sometimes it's necessary to get a fresh perspective and if your current counselor is not helping you it's good to to look for someone who can take you to the next level. As a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with over 20 years of experience, I think it's important to find someone who practices evidence- based psychotherapy. A coach is fine for some, but if you go that route try to find someone who is also credentialed/ licensed as a therapist, like an LPC, or LCSW. I went through coaching supervision myself, and in my opinion, that training would have been inadequate to help someone, had I not already had my masters degree, hours of supervision, internships and years of experience. I'm not bashing coaches in general but for your protection, try to find a credentialed counselor.

Your state licensing board for counselors will usually have a website with names, licensure, how long they've been in practice and if there are any pending actions against that individual. Then there's fit. If you call and request a brief phone contact ( usually that's free) you might get a sense of how they practice and their personality, or go on their website. Best of luck to you in your search. I had several great counselors along the way, and they can make an incredible difference when you find the right one.

[Ronjohn 84]

I have gone to a few different counselors over the years, and have found the be quite useless. I'm not what I was expecting to be quite honest, but whatever it was I didn't find it.

I have actually contemplated seeing a counselor lately to deal with my food issues (addictions in general). With the sleeve, I am losing weight and feel confident that I will continue. I have lost weight multiple times before only to find it all again. I would really like to figure out how I overcome this addiction and learn to control it and not let i control me.

Do they have VSG food counselors?

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

@Ronjohn i share your general opinion of talk therapy/counseling. The WORST counselors I ever tried were so called experts in "over eating" conditions. I have really asked myself if I was just being self defensive, but no, they were both really terrible.
I suspect that someone with general expertise in addictions and maybe more specifically behavior changes would be a reasonable choice. I am action oriented, and like i said in my original post, i find dredging up ancient trauma to add no value. I am not in denial about it - it happened, it influenced me but the real question is - what now? Anyway, like I said we never talk about food and eating except when I went through a brief period that I could not eat and she helped me understand a little bit what was happening to me an how to turn the ship so to speak.

@skinnyrita I think quite by accident the person I see has all those qualifications PLUS being an ARNP. She has good advice on many subjects. I was also considering asking her to take a step back, fresh perspective because that is really my only complaint that I feel like she has made decisions in her own mind about me and alot has changed in 2 years. Anyway, thanks for the tips!