Newbie in NY

dld512 · June 25, 2008

Thanks sooo much!

2008er · June 25, 2008

I know what you mean about hearing "no". I was absolutely terrified about the prospect. What THEN? This was my absolute last resort in my mind, since I was already ridiculously desperate before even considering bariatric surgery of any kind.

I always felt I could do it myself if I just tried hard enough. If only I could be disciplined enough. If only I put my mind to it. blah blah. You know the drill, I'm sure. I had a meltdown when I asked my dr about the band. I felt like an idiot, like the only person on the planet that couldn't control her intake enough. The only one who seemed to have the rest of her life under control but had this one dirty little secret (the kind of secret everone else can see, every single day - I don't know why I thought it was really a secret).

My therapist (thank God for therapists!!) helped me see a few facts (I'm a fact-based person):

* this surgery exists because there are a LOT of people who needed it. Do you really think folks would've put that kind of time and money into research if you were the only one?

* ins cos are covering it because of the public outcry and competition. That means there are a lot of people getting this.

* every time someone applies for this surgery, the ins co sees a request and notes it as demand. The more people who ask, the more likely the ins co will listen to the reasons behind it.

This helped make me feel less like a failure.

On the "no" issue:

* "no" is a single point in time. It does NOT mean "no forever". I was told no at least three times formally by CDPHP. I rephrased and asked again, because I KNEW I needed this. I KNEW I qualified. You gotta fee lit in your bones. Have the mindset that it's already a given that you're approved - they just haven't gotten the memo yet.

* if for some reason you exhaust all your appeals and it's still no this time, then this is NOT the right time for you, for whatever reason. You have to trust that the universe/god knows what its doing for you. it doesn't mean that you can't reapply next year. It also doesn't mean you're doomed to al ife of fatness and failure. (I had to REAAALY work on this one during the appeals process - I'd convinced myself this was the end of the line, but it really isn't. It's a big hill, but not the end.

I found this whole process was a great opporutnity for personal growth (although I can't say I enjoyed every aspect...). I learned to stand up for myself and not stop fighting even with that first "no". I learned that I'm worth fighting for. I learned that some things are worth the massive effort and emotional investment. I learned that "no" is NOT the end.

I SO hope the same for you. Please keep us posted on your progress. I am hoping for a big "yes" for you (ASSUME THEY WILL SAY YES - power of positive thought).

dld512 · June 25, 2008

Thank you so much for that last post! It put a lot of things in perspective. I met with my primary doc today and she is on board...I wrote everything down and gave it to her and before she even finished the first paragraph she said "you're ready to try the lap-band huh?" I was so relieved. . . .scared but relieved. Sooo one potential "no" out of the way! Now on to july 28th. What testing is needed ? I know some but I haven't heard any details . . . do docs try to schedule things all together?

2008er · June 25, 2008

I think every surgeon does their own thing, but mine wanted the following for my case (if I'd had other comorbidites, the list would've been longer):

* blood tests

* breathing test (oxygen sat, I think)

* sleep apnea test (overnight sleep study)

* ultrasound for pancreas, liver, gall bladder (this is why I then had to get my gall bladder out prior to banding - never knew I had stones, and lots of 'em)

* upper GI series (swallowing barium, xrays)

* psych eval (I'd been seeing a shrink for years, so this was easy)

dld512 · June 25, 2008

I was curious because everyone had something a bit different. I have no known co-morbidites so I am curious as to what they will say. How has your journey been going? How are you feeling. . . what are you eating or not eating. . . how are you losing and did you tell people? Sorry about all the questions I am like a SPONGE I want to know all I can! I wish my appt was closer.

2008er · June 26, 2008

I don't mind the questions at all - in fact, I think talking about it will help me move forward as well. I appreciate the opportunity, and I'll be interested in your thoughts and progress as well.

My journey's been pretty good. Way better than some of the horror stories you're bound to hear, but not as good as some of the folks who appear to sail through things, dropping 30 lbs a week.

I've lost 20 so far, most right post-op. I've been stalled for a bit now. It's not the band's fault. I really need ot get my head around things and get my bahooky moving. I'm havinga heck of a time motivating myself to physically move, even though I know how great I feel when I do it. I'm getting ready for vacay on Sat with my family on the beach, and I'm bound and determined to M-O-V-E during the week - beach walks area fave, so I have no excuse.

I started at lower BMI (just under 40), so my dr warned me about slower weight loss. Doesn't make me more patient of a patient, though! I have about 80 lbs to lose, and I'd be happy to kiss it goodbye tomorrow. He told me to give it 2 years.

My food's been pretty good. Not a lot I can't eat, but some things are certainly more comfortable than others. Breads are tough. I can eat them if they're combined with other, juicy kinds of things (sandwiches with moist fillings). No Bagels. Not a lot of pastas (I can eat them, I just don't feel as good afterwards).

I'm still getting used to portions. At least once a day I take one bite too many. Usually just have to move around a bit and wait for it to pass, bo big deal, just mild discomfort. A few times (BAAAAAAD times), I did "PB" as they say. Stupid mistakes on my part - too big of a bite, which leads to chewing fatigue or forgetting, which leads to a giant golf ball lodged in the center of your chest and lots of spit backing up. Really sucks. Sure makes for a quick learning curve, if you're anything like me (I tried, really tried, being bulemic, but couldn't deal w/the gacking.) - cannot stand being sick to my stomach.

I'm getting better with the chewing, but still have to concentrate to take smaller bites. I eat up to a cup at a time, although the band is moody and sometimes I can only eat a few bites. Mornings are tighter than evenings, so sometimes even Cereal is out. I get a little impatient with that kind of thing, since my mornings are not chock full of spare time with 2 kids. However, just one more reminder that I can't just walk around stuffing my face - this is ALL about conscious eating.

As far as telling folks: not a lot. My dearest friends (only a couple), my sis (NOT my mom - waaaay too judgemental, even though she had gastric), my hubby, one fellow bandster who confided in me at work (I told her so she didn't feel alone. Bonus: I didn't feel so alone, either). I have been very conservative, mostly because I see it as something I can always tell folks later when I'm wildly successful, but once you tell, you can't UNtell. It's an extremely personal choice. Some folks tell everyone who they meet on the bus, others don't even tell their significant other until the day of surgery. Do you have thoughts on what you'll do?

jacci2 · June 26, 2008

you talked me into it... lol

I hear ya about telling people... I think I do it to keep myself accountable about things sometimes... I haven't told people about this yet, but my date is Aug 27th. So far I've told, mom, husband, son, husband told his daughter, that means his ex knows, so who else?? who knows... lol I just hope that my husband's family doesn't know very much yet cause when I told them I was "thinking" about it, they went crazy!!! So I don't plan on telling them I had it done....

I'm trying to get some of those things down now before I have to... like the small bites, Protein, then veggies and fruits, then carbs, eat slow... and stop... when you feel that... full feeling... and I kinda do feel it... sometimes I know when I eat too fast... cause I feel overfull... so I try to be more mindful... but no.. do I think I can do this without the band..l. no.. been there... done that... NO.. CAN'T... but... maybe I can't lose a little... and get some good habits going before so it won't be any harder than it needs to be... hey, I found out that I can live wihtout diet coke!!! I would have never believed that!!!

Well, I have the pulmonologist tomorrow, so, I'll let you all know what happens.... night to all!!

jacci

jacci2 · June 27, 2008

Well my surgery date is supposed to be Aug 27th, but I got some bad news today. I had to go to the pulmonologist because of some of the results of testing and it seems that what I thought was being out of shape was actually asthma. Thankfully it can be treated with inhalers, but he doesn't think I should have any elective surgery on my abdomen since I'd have to recover on my back. I dont' know what will happen, but I am also going for the sleep study to see what else is going on with me. It's in God's hands... but good thing is... I am still wiser... I am doing the drink plenty of fluids, small bites, smaller portions, Protein, veggies, fruits, then carbs, chew, chew, etc.... and am losing weight.. so far 15 pounds in about 10 weeks... so I will keep going.. and hopefully the people that have supported me for lapband will continue... and maybe I can continue to help them... we shall see... Thanks for everything... I will let you all know what happens... :confused2::hurray::blushing:

dld512 · June 27, 2008

Are they saying you can't have it at all or that you have to get things under control? I hope everything works out for you.

jacci2 · June 28, 2008

I'll wait and see what happens when all the testing is done and see what the surgeon says and see what options I have... it's in God's hands... I really need to lose this weight... I hope this is a viable option...

dld512 · June 28, 2008

I will definetly say a prayer. Please let me know what happens.

jacci2 · June 28, 2008

but to answer one of your older questions... the girls do try to schedule what they can,..at least from my experience. The one day I was at the hospital for testing: 7am - 12pm for blood work, chest xray, upper GI, EKG, and pulmonary tests. I'm sure most will do the same. But there are many tests. I still have to do the psyche eval, colonoscopy, nutritionist, sleep study, et. So we shall see what happens. How are things going with you? Have you spoken to a surgeon yet? Or gone to a support group. Support groups are great. I would find one close to you as soon as you can, even before you see the surgeon if you haven't yet. They give you hope.:tt2:

dld512 · June 29, 2008

My intial consult is July 28th. Too far. . .I have actually been thinking about calling and see if they have a cancellation list. . .hee hee hee. I am impatient. . .once I make up my mind about something.