Regret

[jennaggie 43]

I was doing good. Through the entire process I was terrified but hopeful this Is what my life needed. I had a terrible experience with surgery. They couldn't get an iv in. Then they rushed me away from my husband then I woke up in terrible pain. The pain stayed with me for 6 days because they sent me home after one night with a two foot drain tube in my stomach. I was in terrible pain. They took the tube out yesterday. Today has been a week since surgery. They took me off all pain meds. I haven't eaten since the day before surgery. Now for the first time I'm wondering if I made a mistake. I just want to move without pain. I started at 444 and I know that's no life to live. I'm at 370 now. I should be excited but I'm terrified of what I've done to myself. Did anyone else fill like this? What got you through it?

[Katnroyal 225]

It's the buyers remorse. I experienced this also. Just remember why you got the surgery and look at the progress you have already made. Surgery is hard on the body period. Everyone's body reacts differently and have different pain tolerances. This is a long trying journey both mentally and physically. Lean on your family and stay active on here to get the support you need. Follow doctors orders and try and stay as positive as you can!

[FrankyG 1,450]

I think everone has the feeling of making a huge mistake the first week or two. You were unlucky enough to have some complicating factors that made it seem even worse (so sorry you went through that!).

But you will start feeling better pretty soon, the pain and discomfort and swelling will go down, you'll get a hang of the eating thing, and 6 months from now, it will all be a distant memory and you'll be in a much better place to decide if it was a mistake... or the best thing you could have done for yourself.

Stay strong and know what you're going through is temporary - it will get better!

[jane13 2,256]

@@jennaggie - just like the OP said follow your doctors orders and try to stay positive. The "buyers remorse" is pretty typical for most and the hormone flush along with a major shift in eating just multiplies the feeling.

Keep moving, stay hydrated try to get the Protein requirements set forth by your doctor and in a couple of weeks this will pass. Stay off the scale until you see the doctor, because it can be frustrating those first few weeks.

[marroyo 30]

I have also experienced this regret and am 9 weeks out. I still struggle with my emotions but have sought out therapy. I was so excited prior to surgery and then all of a sudden this deep regret remorse. These feelings are hard to understand. I hope this also gets better with time. I'm trying to hang in there.

[Miss Mac 6,262]

That's a horrible way to start on what should be the most life-changing experience you will ever have. It does get better. As you continue to lose weight, your quality of life will improve, not to mention your range of motion and overall health.

If you get a survey from the hospital, fill it out and tell the truth. Hospital administrators read those things and take corrective actions - especially if it is a Press-Ganey survey that ranks them among other hospitals across the country.

Geeze-o-Pete, it sounds like you got your surgery at Walmart with Goofy as your anesthesiologist and Donald Duck (quack) as your surgeon. Not all medical staff has IV skills, even at the best hospitals. If you are among the unfortunate few who have hidden veins, the task is even more challenging.

The worst is over now. You've done well to have a 74 pound weight loss already. You will feel better as soon as you graduate to soft foods. With the improvement that is coming with your nutrition, your body systems will rejoice and reward you with better health than you probably have ever had.

Just be patient, dear. We get in such a hurry to undo a lifetime of dietary error, and it just takes some time to reverse that process. Buyer's remorse and the emotional roller coaster are common at the stage you are at......what you are feeling is perfectly normal.

Be kind to yourself. Rest. Keep hydrated. Follow doctor's instructions as best you can. Visit us often. This is a great support group here. I tell newbies that opinions and tact will vary, but we mean well.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

This is a common reaction.... it will get better.

I just want to give you peace of mind - much of what you listed are in the range of "normal". I was a revision from band to sleeve and I had TWO drains that stayed in for a week. It wasn't fun, but a distant memory. I have had difficult IVs too - it is normal and no long term harm. i was on liquid for weeks, no eating of real food for a bit (as a revision, had an extra long time before being allowed real food). The first few months were hard, but staying positive and focusing on why you did this - eye on the prize! and it will soon be a distant memory. Hang in there!

[JamieLogical 8,708]

I cried every day in the early days post-op and the only reason I didn't fully give into regret was that I didn't want to admit I was wrong in choosing to have the surgery. But it got better day by day and I eventually started feeling human again and then eventually started feeling NORMAL again. Now, at a year and a half post-op, I consider my surgery one of the best decisions I ever made. Hang in there! This feeling of regret is VERY normal and just a part of the process. Since you've had a harder time than most, it might linger a bit longer, but ultimately you will come to realize what a great thing you have done for yourself.

[jennaggie 43]

Thank y'all. I just needed to hear that I would feel normal again one day and look back at this as a fond memory. I think I will. It will just take time.

[Siege 49]

I think most people will experience regret of varying degrees along the way. I know I did, and I was fortunate enough to have a great doctor, staff, hospital, and overall no complications (so far, knock on wood). I was on liquids a week before surgery and two weeks after - that can get you into negative thinking, too, but it will pass.

I hope you start to feel better soon. Hang in there.

[Valentina 2,642]

"We do not know how strong we are until we are given no other choice".

A wee hospital "secret":

"A patient can not and will not be discharged against their will without proper conference".

If you are ever about to be discharged from a hospital but feel for whatever reason that you are not able to be, ask for the "hospital's patient advocate". Every hospital (at least in NY State) has to have one. That person will be your spokesperson in any conversation referring to your discharge.

Hospitals want you in and out as quickly as possible. It's all dollars and cents, but if you truly are too weak, ill or just not ready to take care of yourself at home, they have to conference about you and allow you to stay day to day.