Frightened of failing ... Surgery in a week

[GracefullyInsane 8]

Hello everyone,

So my surgery is a week from Monday, on the 22nd. I'm feeling really frightened lately, and I can't shake it. Did any of you experience this feeling? I'm converting from a band to a D/S. The band worked really well for a few years. Then it slipped and the weight just piled on. I feel like a failure.

I have so much weight to lose now. I'm fearful that something will go wrong and I'll be the one that the surgery doesn't work for. Is that silly? I'm walking, following my liquid/protein diet, doing my abdominals and trying to stay positive, but I'm really worried.

If any of you can relate I'd love to hear how you overcame this awful dread and fear. I'd also love to hear how you did in spite of it all! There seems to be a lot of success stories in this forum. I just don't want to be one of the failures, you know?

Thanks to all!

[Daisee68 2,493]

Not only did I fear that, I still do! It is actually something I discussed with my therapist this week. One thing she said to me that resonated was that the only way we can have something to worry about is to worry about that which has not yet happened. She told me to just stay in the present - one meal at a time. If I am mindful of that meal and think about that meal only, then I have nothing to worry about.

I hope that helps. I have been thinking about that all day..

[jpballerina 26]

You won't fail. You never have. Every step you've taken has given you more experience.

The sleeve has a higher success rate than lap band. The tool you're going to get is stronger. But as you know, it's just a tool.

The real question is, what have you learned from your previous steps that will help you in this one? Where do you struggle? When do you get discouraged? What foods do you love that keep calling you back? How can you incorporate those foods into your life in a non-damaging way?

When getting the sleeve, I took a lot of time imagining my life change. I made a board of what I wanted it to look like. I wanted me smiling, I wanted to be doing yoga, and I wanted to live a long life. I put foods on there that I loved that were healthy. Here's the catch though; I also put foods on there that I loved that weren't "healthy." I had a slice of pizza, and a bowl of ice cream...because those are things I love. If I try to cut them out completely, it will cut away at my happiness. I don't picture myself eating salad everyday and being happy.

But, I CAN picture myself eating a lot more healthy things and being happy.

Allow yourself to love those foods and let them be special. Not a reward, or only for Saturdays, but just special. Find the healthier foods that you feel are special too.

Your new stomach will help you with Portion Control. Your new outlook on food with help you decide what special foods to eat and when.

No one looks at their happiest self and pictures them only having Protein shakes. Life is about variety, love and experiences. Add food; don't subtract it. Try more variety and have more food and non-food related experiences. That's when you'll finally be living a different lifestyle.

You'll do awesome. Appreciate the hard work you've done. You're obviously one tough cookie. You've got this.

[Djmohr 6,965]

I would be surprised if every single person who had weight loss surgery didn't think about it. I can remember setting my goal and thinking there is no possible way I will ever lose 145 lbs and keep it off.

Then I realized that WLS is nothing but a tool and I am in control of that tool for the rest of my life. This is all about where your head and heart is and how bad you want it.

If you want it bad enough, you can see yourself getting to goal and maintaining that goal. Well I am down 142lbs very close to my ideal weight and now it about maintaining.

If you want it and your ready just remember you are in control.

The best of luck to you!

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

D/S is a very effective surgery. I converted band to sleeve in 2011. My BMI was 52, so in the ballpark of your starting point. I lost 150# in 14 months to hit goal. I am currently 3# under goal. I share my story to give you faith that you can and will succeed after a"failed" WLS. I felt l like it was my last chance to become normal weight and size, and I went after it. It's hard to believe in yourself after such a painful experience (failing with WLS) but in truth the sky is the limit. With the help of the"tool" you will get permanent control over your weight and be on the path to better health.

[RoseSA 13]

I also had the BPD DS after having had the band. I however had the band fitted about 6 years ago and after a year I had to have it removed. It became infected and I almost lost my life. I had a gaping open wound for 6 months. After that healed my gap suggested I have WLS again and my answer was NO, never again. I had suffered a great deal of pain and went through a bout of depression - all related to my failure. The fact is, it was not my failure, it was beyond my control - apparently when my first (only) fill was done bacteria entered the port area.

Anyway, after that all happened the weight just piled on again, I comfort ate and very soon I was back to 133 kgs. I went on a eating program with my GP, tried everything I had tried before and nothing worked.

Then my daughter got married and I was horrified at myself in the wedding photos, I stated hating myself again. About 18 months later my daughter fell pregnant and I started thinking about WLS again. When my granddaughter was born I knew I had to give it another go. I wanted to enjoy her, play with her on the floor, run with her on the grass, I just wanted to see her grow up. At that point I was diabetic, suffered from high blood pressure and high cholesterol - I was a walking heart attack.

I asked my doctor for a referral (I certainly did not want to use the same surgeon as before) and he suggested "a centre of excellence in bariatric surgery". What an amazing place, what a difference to my first attempt.

The surgery took place on the 23rd of February last year, almost a year ago. The few weeks leading up to my surgery I just like you wondered why I was doing this, something could go wrong during the op, something could fail again or I might not lose weight. For me my biggest fear was that I would not make it through the 5 hour surgery. I decided I needed to say certain things to my loved ones and that was when I decided to write each one of them a letter expressing my love, gratitude and I also outlined my reasons for going through the surgery. I wrote to my husband, 2 daughters, my sister and 2 beet friends (they are my support group).

The good news is that I did make it through, I won't lie it was tough but not half as bad as I imagined. Before I was discharged from hospital I was off all my chronic medication and I basically only take my Vitamins and supplements as prescribed. I am so happy and proud of myself. I have lost 45kgs to date, feel and look wonderful and yes I am enjoying my granddaughter to the fullest.

The greatest feeling is when you see someone who hasn't seen you in a Wahike and they just can't believe it's you.

So I cannot tell you to worry because I think it's part of the process, just do everything that the professionals tell you to do. Shrink that liver with your liquid diet, keep to the eating plan after the op 100%, don't take chances.

Believe me when I say it will all be worth it in the end. Best of luck and hang in there.

[Pescador 1,374]

You. Can. Do. This. Most of us did. Put the fears aside. If you don't do it, what does your future look like? I am 69 and thankful I did it and my husband is more thankful that I led him through it.

[GracefullyInsane 8]

A huge thanks to everyone for sharing their thoughts and stories with me. I'm feeling comforted and encouraged. I still can't fathom being 'normal', but I'm a lot more calm inside. Thank you....!!!

[Kindle 8,667]

There are a lot of things out of our control, but succeeding after WLS is 100% in your control. Let that fact empower you to do what it takes.

If you THINK you might fail then you might. If you KNOW you will succeed, then you will!