Yadie2006 75 Posted February 13, 2016 It's his loss. Stay strong were all here for you.thank you very much Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
songsmith 334 Posted February 13, 2016 I'm so sorry for you! I feel like he chose his moment to cause you the most pain and stress. Talk about attempted sabotage! He won't think of counseling. He's willing to throw all those years away. Sounds to me he's been thinking about this for a long while. You need to look to your finances. Make sure he doesn't pull all your money out of the bank, all that other stuff horrible people do when they leave their spouses. You should not have to think about this at this time, but you'll be glad you did afterwards. Do you have a good friend or loved one who can stay close while you're going through this? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
amazon 579 Posted February 13, 2016 I hate to say it, but he has shown his true colors. He was not the right one. He didn't love YOU. I'm so sorry. It must be devastating. In the long run it will be the best thing for you. You deserve a real man who loves, cherishes, and respects you. You are worth it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Yadie2006 75 Posted February 14, 2016 I'm so sorry for you! I feel like he chose his moment to cause you the most pain and stress. Talk about attempted sabotage! He won't think of counseling. He's willing to throw all those years away. Sounds to me he's been thinking about this for a long while. You need to look to your finances. Make sure he doesn't pull all your money out of the bank, all that other stuff horrible people do when they leave their spouses. You should not have to think about this at this time, but you'll be glad you did afterwards. Do you have a good friend or loved one who can stay close while you're going through this?yes a have a great friend that is helping me out get thru this. thats exactly how i feel i feel he planned thist I hate to say it, but he has shown his true colors. He was not the right one. He didn't love YOU. I'm so sorry. It must be devastating. In the long run it will be the best thing for you. You deserve a real man who loves, cherishes, and respects you. You are worth it. thank you ❤️ Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sweetsavannah 20 Posted February 14, 2016 He is being incredibly selfish and insecure and he's attempting to sabotage you because you're SO close to this huge life change. I am so sorry.You deserve to be happy and healthy! Please remember that! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sajijoma 1,324 Posted February 14, 2016 It sounds to me like this is his way of manipulating the situation. It sounds as if he's saying if you can't be fat and miserable, then it's not worth it to him so choose to be fat and miserable or he's leaving. My advice, as hard as it sounds is to just let him go. You need to have supportive people around you, especially in those first days and weeks, and it certainly sounds like this guy isn't it! I'm reminded of an episode from my 600lbs life when Zalynn was on there and her husband wanted her to be big. He loved big women. He was with her because she was big and that was it. He didn't care she was suffering and in pain. He didn't care her life was being cut short. He was only there to feed his sexual fetish. When she went for wls, he tried to sabotage her, he was cruel to her, mocking her, ridiculing her, and even trying to force her to eat fries and fast food crap in the car on the way home from the hospital knowing damn well she couldn't. He was absolutely just cruel and in the end, she finally gave up and realized he didn't love her and let him go. It's hard, and I am so sorry you are going through this, but if you have to choose between your health or him, you should choose your health and wellbeing every time! Hang in there sweetie! Sometimes when we lose weight, we lose a couple hundred from our life we weren't counting on, but you'll be better off in the end. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Yadie2006 75 Posted February 14, 2016 He is being incredibly selfish and insecure and he's attempting to sabotage you because you're SO close to this huge life change. I am so sorry.You deserve to be happy and healthy! Please remember that!thank you ❤️ Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JustWatchMe 7,117 Posted February 14, 2016 Im sorry for your pain. But take it from me, don't stay married to someone for 25 years who doesn't love you. You can never get those years back. As hard as this is right now, it is a blessing that he is showing his true colors to you this openly. Get your surgery, take care of yourself, and find all the support systems you can to stay on course. I filed for divorce four months after my surgery. It was years overdue. Blessings to you. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Yadie2006 75 Posted February 14, 2016 It sounds to me like this is his way of manipulating the situation. It sounds as if he's saying if you can't be fat and miserable, then it's not worth it to him so choose to be fat and miserable or he's leaving. My advice, as hard as it sounds is to just let him go. You need to have supportive people around you, especially in those first days and weeks, and it certainly sounds like this guy isn't it! I'm reminded of an episode from my 600lbs life when Zalynn was on there and her husband wanted her to be big. He loved big women. He was with her because she was big and that was it. He didn't care she was suffering and in pain. He didn't care her life was being cut short. He was only there to feed his sexual fetish. When she went for wls, he tried to sabotage her, he was cruel to her, mocking her, ridiculing her, and even trying to force her to eat fries and fast food crap in the car on the way home from the hospital knowing damn well she couldn't. He was absolutely just cruel and in the end, she finally gave up and realized he didn't love her and let him go. It's hard, and I am so sorry you are going through this, but if you have to choose between your health or him, you should choose your health and wellbeing every time! Hang in there sweetie! Sometimes when we lose weight, we lose a couple hundred from our life we weren't counting on, but you'll be better off in the end.you are absolutely right! thanks love! ❤️ Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jpballerina 26 Posted February 14, 2016 Please let us know if you need anything. My husband leaving me was one of the hardest things that ever happened to me. I'm happier on the other end; no one wants to spend their life trying to make someone love them (especially when the real problem is that the person doesn't love themselves.) My parting thoughts? 1-You will survive this. 2-Don't fight for him; I beg you. Please. I've been there. Let him go. 3-Cry a bunch and kick things. Let him go. 4-Don't do the surgery to show him how much you don't need him or to make him sorry for leaving you. The surgery won't fix him. Do it for you and you only. 5-Let him go. ❤️ We're here for you! -Julianna Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
VSGAnn2014 12,992 Posted February 14, 2016 @@jpballerina 's post is absolutely 100% true. Let him go. Love yourself. You're soooo worth it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
iamOpalicious 53 Posted February 14, 2016 This sounds like an attention seeking move. I have a relationship where every time it's time for me to do something for myself, DRAMA. No not healthy and it's really an attempt to control. Don't lose focus or give in. This is bigger and more important than "LOVE", this is your life, without which, there can be no love. Once he sees that your not giving in, he'll come back BUT always remember, a person/friend shows who they really are when your down and need them the most. Cancer or Bariatric Surgery, you want to know up front who's in you corner! Stay in prayer and press F O R W A R D! Peace Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Yadie2006 75 Posted February 14, 2016 Please let us know if you need anything. My husband leaving me was one of the hardest things that ever happened to me. I'm happier on the other end; no one wants to spend their life trying to make someone love them (especially when the real problem is that the person doesn't love themselves.) My parting thoughts? 1-You will survive this. 2-Don't fight for him; I beg you. Please. I've been there. Let him go. 3-Cry a bunch and kick things. Let him go. 4-Don't do the surgery to show him how much you don't need him or to make him sorry for leaving you. The surgery won't fix him. Do it for you and you only. 5-Let him go. ❤️ We're here for you! -Julianna thank you very much! i cried all last night, but i havent called him or texted him. im doing this surgery because its for my health to live a longer life for my children. he has seen my struggles with being overweigh i cant even tie my shoes with out having shortness of breath. he saw all of that and it hurts that he thinks im doing it to leave him how dumb is that! thank you for your words and prayers. ❤️ Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wannaBthinsoon 1,634 Posted February 14, 2016 @@Yadie2006 You probably don't realize this now, but in a month or two, your confidence is going to go through the roof! You will realize that you are worth it. You will look back at how "he" wasn't there for you, and be glad you made the decision to become healthy and thin, instead of obese and unhappy with a man who loves only himself. If he had truly loved you, he would've been there to hold your hand when you were scared before the surgery, and he would be waiting in the recovery room for you to wake up, and be so relieved when you do. But, I don't see that with your man. I see a chickenshit, who wants to control you. Good for you for choosing YOU and your kids. I really don't think you will ever regret that decision. .................and like others have said.....forget him! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites