Fat Acceptance Movement - how do you feel?

[ocgirl15 667]

Fat acceptance movements don't cancel out some inconvenient truths:

1. Healthy, fat young people turn into fatter, unhealthy middle-aged people and morbidly obese, sick people who die decades before than their natural lifespan due to obesity comorbidities like diabetes, hypertension/strokes, cardiovascular disease, fatty liver disease and some forms of cancer.

2. As every single WLS patient who has reached maintenance knows, the quality of life for morbidly obese people is awful, compared to the quality of life for people who are of normal weight.

Those facts don't justify insulting anyone -- fat people or others (like smokers) who actively contribute to their demise. They should be supported, not insulted.

And venturing into controversial territory, when I was obese I found absolutely nothing acceptable about being overweight or obese. Therefore, I can't get excited about a movement that celebrates obesity. Thank God, I finally reached the point (hit bottom) where my own obesity became so disabling and appalling that I sought WLS.

What a freakin' relief!

.

You stated perfectly my thoughts as well. Many of us have been fat shamed and it is horrible and unacceptable but pretending obesity is not serious health issue is delusional and even deadly.

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,444]

Oh, by the way. Said mother n law was obese herself!

There are two ways to look at this:

Self-hating mothers-in-law need love, too; or

You've got to love those self-hating mothers-in-law.

[CowgirlJane 14,260]

I can get behind any kind of self acceptance/ self love movement. I seriously think the world would be a better place if more people had that inner peace and self assurance.

I was never involved in FA movement so not well informed but I think they intentionally misrepresent the dangers of morbid obesity.

I dated(briefly) a man who was pretty heavy, ate gross cheap ass low quality foods, and then he mentioned in passing that he'd had bypass heart surgery while scarfing down the double bacon cheeseburger... I was astounded ....that is how I think of too much acceptance of a bad health situation.

Like people think a magical medication or surgery will"fix em" no matter how much we abuse our bodies. One of my many motivations for getting sleeved was the number of obese people dropping dead (local news story lead me to look up statistics). Sadly, in the years since my sleeve and losing weight I lost 40 year old niece and a 64 year old sister in law- both dropped dead of heart attack and they were very obese (probably 55-60 BMI range)

Obesity is a disease process, I have no animosity toward the obese, but people have to keep trying to get weight off, or at least not gain, our very lives depend on it.

[needtorecover 574]

This is great - thanks for all your answers! I've enjoyed reading these perspectives. It's interesting to me because many thin folks think obesity is our fault. In a way, yes, it is - we ultimately decide how we eat and what we choose to eat, but few understand the biological drive that keeps us fat. I wish I could find the study to share with you all, but I read that once you lose 5% of your body weight your brain goes into freak-out-mode and secretes a hormone that vastly reduces your ability to resist overeating. Because starvation.

I understand the purpose of FA, to humanize obese people, reduce discrimination, and get medical professionals to take our concerns seriously beyond the scale. But at the same time I was really frustrated with my PCP because she wasn't straight with me about my weight. She was like "Oh, you're fine for now. Just try to eat less and move more." This is when my BMI was 40. I asked her about WLS and she said I was much too young and I should try traditional methods of weight loss (that clearly do not work!) a while longer.

I knew I was fat. I wanted her to agree with me and help me. She put me on Wellbutrin and said it would help curb my appetite. It sort of worked but only marginally so.

CowgirlJane, I agree with your statement about obese folks using medications to "fix" their issues. My aunt is very obese but she thinks she's fine because she takes 15 different pills to keep her systems functional. My goal is to not need ANY medications. So far I've been okay - I'm glad I got the surgery when I did before I needed cholesterol, BP, or diabetes medications. I've been teetering on the edge for a while... it's not good.

And I also agree it's hard to get on board with a movement that celebrates obesity. Being obese isn't really something one should be proud of any more than one should be ashamed of it. It just is what it is.

[4MRB4PHOTO 3,900]

Some PCPs may lack people skills, but most are trying to impress upon their obese patients the importance of losing weight (diseases, shortened life expectancy, mental health, etc.) based upon their first hand knowledge and experience.

A PCP should not say "You fat (bleep), why don't you put the fork down some time and go for a walk!" -That would be cruel, unprofessional and unsupportive.

They could say "According to the weight/height charts, you should try to grow 4 feet taller".

My PCP encouraged me to lose weight in a positive way by suggesting dieting, offering advice on losing weight and over time, eventually entertaining the thought of bariatric surgery.

She is a consummate doctor, has great people skills, is very caring and THANKFULLY, has a small index finger (guys know what I mean).

Edited February 12, 2016 by 4MRB4PHOTO

[2goldengirl 2,076]

I love this thread!

I think fat shaming is wrong, just like any other form of bullying. And everyone deserves to be treated with respect and dignity simply because as humans, it's something we all deserve from one another. I think everyone needs to love themselves as they are, and not constantly hold themselves up to someone else's yardstick of "worthy". Most of us here can tell hair-curling stories of being treated as "less than" because of our weight, and I'm all for anything that ends that.

However, there are medical realities that can't be escaped from living an obese life. We all know this or we wouldn't be here. Just as we need to accept that we're worthy no matter our size, we need to take responsibility for treating the one body we have with love and respect.

I do see a disturbing aspect of the movement, that is, the individuals who take license to frankly abuse their bodies with food and label it "fat acceptance". That's just sad.

[JamieLogical 8,710]

I really think it is tough to ignore the medical consequences of obesity. I never had high blood pressure, high cholesterol, difficulty breathing, or aching joints, but my doctor pointed out to me that I was also only 30 years old. There is no doubt that had I continued down that path, I would have eventually developed some of those conditions. Plus, those aren't the only things that can kill you.

My sister-in-law died at the age of 41 from a pulmonary embolism. There is no doubt that her obesity caused the DVT blood clot that killed her. She had no warning signs before that.

[songsmith 334]

I believe fat people should never be shamed for who they are. It often feels like we're the last carnival freak show: "Hey, look at that guy! He's bigger than a house! Let's take embarrassing and judgmental photos and put them in blogs, magazines and newspapers and TV shows." So, yes, I believe in better understanding of the condition and less judging.

I had thyroid cancer. It went for two more years because the first three ENTs I was sent to took one look at me, thought, "Meh, she's fat and looking for an excuse," and didn't do the testing that should have been done. Another friend had PCOS. It took her forever to get diagnosed because, again, she's obese. Doctors, especially, need education.

But I'm saddened when I hear people in the movement claim that fat is healthy. It is not. I was a healthy young fat person. I lifted weights. I exercised. I was in great shape. Then I hit 40. Suddenly my blood pressure skyrocketed, my joints gave out, and my endocrinologist threatened to put me on diabetic meds because my blood sugar was too high. (Convinced her to wait to see what surgery does for me.) Long-term, fat is not healthy. People who say otherwise all seem to be in their 20s or early 30s. They don't know yet.

[NikkiDoc 312]

I had an orthopedic surgery not want to do ACL reconstruction because I was too fat. I was 211 pounds and 5'3. He didn't quite come out and say it but kept stressing how hard the rehab was for ACL reconstruction. It would be much easier to just remove the ACL and clean up the meniscus. I would be good to go in 3-4 weeks instead of 3 months. If I needed my ACL they could always do that surgery later. But he didn't see why I needed an ACL.

He saw me as fat and lazy so figured I wasn't active and wouldn't be able to do the physical therapy for the ACL. Except I was horseback riding 4-5 days a week. We hiked and biked regularly. I think he thought I was sitting on the couch eating bonbons. Mind you I tore my ACL by coming off my horse.

I did just fine with the ACL reconstruction thank you very much and am now 10 years out.

But high and mighty doctor really tried to dissuade me from having that surgery and would rather risk me needing to go under anesthesia twice. Mind you he knew I did not do well with anesthesia in the past so really an additional reason to not want to risk going through it twice.

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

Well since I am a different kind of minority, than just being fat. I have a different perspective on it. I don't mind fact acceptance. It is not my kind of thing because they go to extremes. There are some people that are always going to be fat, even after weight loss surgery and there are of course lots of people that can never have surgery. Fat people are a fact of life, they shouldn't be marginalized.

However, extremely morbidly obese people is another topic. It isn't healthy, and once you are at that weight long enough your health starts to fail, the body just can't handle it. What I hate the most is all these people have enablers that help them get this way and keep them that way. If you have to do everything for yourself just daily life would prevent you from getting that large. It is a form of abuse, emotional and physical.

I'm also not offended by chubby chasers depending on how chubby their desires are. Regular plus sized women, I don't see that as being a fetish. Women that are so hard they can hardly move, that is a complexly different topic. They want women that size so they have absolute and complete control over them and they are no better than pedophiles.

[CowgirlJane 14,260]

I have this fantasy of becoming an evangelist, my sermons aimed #1 at doctors #2 everyone else, to educate them on the concept of obesity as a disease process.

I am no longer overweight, but I am not cured. My obesity is being managed and is in remission. I don't for a minute believe I will ever be free of the risk of regain because it is what my body wants to do. If I eat alot of sugary, carby junky food -it's like throwing kerosene on a fire and my drive to eat returns. I could have saved decades of heartache and bad health if I had had even the most basic understanding of this process.

[needtorecover 574]

I really think it is tough to ignore the medical consequences of obesity. I never had high blood pressure, high cholesterol, difficulty breathing, or aching joints, but my doctor pointed out to me that I was also only 30 years old. There is no doubt that had I continued down that path, I would have eventually developed some of those conditions. Plus, those aren't the only things that can kill you.

My sister-in-law died at the age of 41 from a pulmonary embolism. There is no doubt that her obesity caused the DVT blood clot that killed her. She had no warning signs before that.

I'm 33 and got a taste of these ailments myself. My joints are crap. I have a hard time getting up and down from the floor when I play with my son. It's depressing. My cholesterol and BP were both marginal pre-surgery, and I had gestational diabetes when pregnant. That sucked. I also run out of breath quickly and have a hard time keeping up.

Didn't have any of these issues in my 20's though - felt fit as a fiddle. I'm hoping I'll feel like I'm in my 20's again when I lose this weight!!

That's my goal now. Great health. Life is much more enjoyable when you're feeling good. I just want to feel good again. I don't care about the clothes or social status or anything else... I'm so sick and tired of feeling sick and tired all the time!

[Julie norton 2,850]

Well... My two cents is the paradigm is shifting on just gawking and laughing merely due to Someone's size.

The other day someone posted a very large man at Starbucks. With ill fitting clothes... On his computer ..

I realized there was nothing funny about him typing.

My small shift in my head was typing " no fat shaming" and going on to the next email.

Hope this catches on in its own way????

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

I'm not into fat acceptance. I am into body acceptance. I think there's a difference. Everyone has the right to feel comfortable in there own skin. That's the end point for me. I'm not a doctor and I don't play one on the internet. I am a fat gal who has experienced doctor's ignoring underlying health issues as a result of my weight. What I do know for certain is that loving myself as a fat gal helped me decide to change my eating habits, exercise and eventually seek WLS.

[AnA92212 577]

I've long since thought that being fat was the last great "taboo" in our society. We don't talk about it, but it is there. I used to be self conscious when I went to the grocery store or ate in restaurants. I thought people were probably judging me and because I was fat.

I don't think you should be ashamed to be overweight. Some people are very confident and overweight. I never was. I am still not confident. Oh yeah, and people still look at me crazy when I order at a restaurant, eat a few bites and ask for a to go box.

To me, fat acceptance is about being accepting of others. I think we should be.