Completely Emotional...

[sam1016 10]

I am working on my three month process...Calorie Counting and going to all my pre-op appointments. I am catching myself falling deeper into depression over my weight. I am constantly thinking about my weight, the surgery, the whole process and finding myself getting pretty emotional (at the most inconvienent of times). I am nervous, scared, and so forth. I keep thinking of my food addiction, can I really beat it? What if I fail? What if I don't like what I look like after I reach my goal weight? I see a lot of before and after photos and a lot of people look completely different. What if I loose all my friends? I am living in the land of what ifs and it is driving me crazy and since I am dieting I do not have my binge eating to cope with all the crazy. Am I loosing my mind??

[Miss Mac 6,262]

Most of us go through tormenting doubts before surgery and buyer's remorse until we get back on regular cooked foods. So.....you are in good company.

What I want to address more specifically is your concern about losing friends. It is no secret here on the forum that bariatric surgery exposes the raw dynamics of your relationships. People can't hold back their comments as you re-invent yourself and some may hurt your feelings or back off of their friendship with you.

This is not necessarily a bad thing. You will find out what people have actually been thinking of you all along and how they do or don't value your companionship. What you will just have to do is evaluate whether or not their response is toxic to your recovery and peace of mind.

Unfortunately, this goes for spouses, too. You will also find out how you value yourself and where encouragement is needed. Stay with us. We are a very supportive community. Opinions and tact will vary, but we mean well.

[Margie122 845]

You are not losing your mind. Are you talking to anyone? A therapist? If you know you have food addiction issues get a therapist now....you'll be happy you did!

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

This is a life-changing event. It is very normal to have doubts, fears, and uncertainty.

One of the things that really helped me was all the years in therapy, etc. dealing with my food issues.

I agree that this is a great time to talk with a professional (counselor or therapist) and to find a good support group (in addition to BariatricPal).

Also, I did a lot of reading pre-op. There are several good books related to Weight Loss Surgery in particular as well as food and eating issues in general.

A few books I suggest:

Eat it Up! (I think the author is Connie Stapelton)

When Food is Love

The Language of Letting Go by Melodie Beatty

The One Life Solution by Dr. Henry Cloud (although not about WLS or food specifically, it addresses boundaries and having a a balanced life).

Journaling is also a great tool.

Keep us posted on how you are doing.

[IncredibleShrinkingMan 437]

I think therapy is important but you are always your own best resources. Nobody can ever have as solid and complete an understanding of root causes as yourself. A therapist will never know the unabridged history of your life. Don't hate the past or block it out. You need to love yourself for it. I am six months out and I love my before pictures like I never thought I would. You will reach this point as well, I promise. Good luck!

[GibbsGirl 483]

We all go through a place of doubt. I can't stress enough to find someone to talk to, my doctor actually told me he wished I would have called, that's what they are there for.

[sam1016 10]

Thank you all for your replies. It is good to know I am not in this alone. I have good days and bad days, just seems the bad have been out weighing the good lately. (no pun intended) I will look into those books and therapy, however, for therapy does that in any way affect your psych evaluation?

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

If anything, therapy would help your psych evaluation as far as I can tell.

[choicemun 111]

I feel the same way. I been trying to lose weight all my life but it never worked just got worse. And now I have this amazing chance to finally do something that can change my life forever and I am so scared of the unknown. I am scared of failing yet again I am scared that my love for food would over come me, and I would have went throw with this for no reason.

But the decision is final I want to live for me for my husband, for my kids. And this is my last chance to change I won't let food take that away from me, I don't want to live the rest of my life in this much physical and emotional pain.

I know is not easy but stay positive and focused and in time you will see that you did do it, that you did over come everything holding you back.

Good luck....