Social relationships post op

[bigguy928 82]

Is it really so different?

My friend didn't have the sleeve he had the bypass. He's gay and so am I. His weight loss was a great success and he lost a ton. He said ever since his surgery his social relationships have been vastly different. He feels that it's at a point where he can't tell who is real and who is fake in his relations with people whereas before when he was bigger he felt that his relationships with people were more genuine. Can I expect this? Are people who weren't interested at all in you before suddenly become interested? I'm already a social butterfly and have a wide variety of friends. I'm not sure what to anticipate.

[GibbsGirl 483]

I guess my attitude is if you were not interested before, I'm not interested now. I have lost a friend over the whole deal, but I now question our friendship anyway. Great subject, can't wait to here others thoughts.

[bigguy928 82]

Hey Gibbs I feel the same exact way! Almost like I can't wait to tell off the people who wouldn't give me the time of day before and are all of a sudden interested. What happened with your friend if you don't mind me asking? What about your weight loss impacted the friendship?

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[GibbsGirl 483]

It's kind of a bizarre story. Let me say, she had a relative who had surgery many years ago maybe 15 or 20, she over ate and purged so many times she somehow bled out. So I tried to not be too excited or make my friend feel uncomfortable, but she wanted to talk about it and I assured her things were different now etc.

As I progressed she just pulled away further and further. Less contact and the last time I dropped by to talk to her she just said. "Well I stopped dieting, so I will just be your fat friend!" I just don't understand because she is beautiful, she is popular around town, she just received a major award as volunteer of the year . She just seems so angry, I feel like I am causing her to be unhappy.

Everyone else in my life are happy for me and it's starting to become a non-issue just old news.

[bigguy928 82]

I'm really sorry to hear that! Im sure the people around me are gonna start showing their true colors after time. But it's all for the better I'm sure.

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[GibbsGirl 483]

I think it happens anyway, just sometimes this may speed up the process. I am really happy so I am just going to keep on trucking along.

[gruiz27 218]

Oh indeed it's all true.. I had my surgery 2 years ago I'm 22 now and let me tell you no one laid eyes on me. And now I have men left and right asking me out and u really don't know who's real who's fake but along the way u learn, and high-school people try and talk to me and I say Oh no hunny u didn't want me then can't have me now. . I've had 1 serious relationship since my surgery didn't work out tho but it was nice. . I've made mistakes myself tho with all the attention it's overwhelming

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[gruiz27 218]

And I've lost friendships along the way too because of the attention on me and because I "looked" better then them. They slowly started drifting away and spreading rumors I had Lipo, this and that . Oh well friends come and go and in the tough times u see who your real friends are ..

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[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

If you are already outgoing with a big personality, your life doesn't really change. Most of the people that complain or are shocked about their life changing, had self esteem issue prior to surgery and weren't that outgoing.

[gruiz27 218]

If you are already outgoing with a big personality, your life doesn't really change. Most of the people that complain or are shocked about their life changing, had self esteem issue prior to surgery and weren't that outgoing.

Definitely agree with you on that.

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