Telling people

[bigguy928 82]

Hey guys!

I'm about two weeks until my sleeve and I've on recently started telling close people. Weight has always been such a sensitive subject for me I never want to discuss it with anyone. I'm very outgoing and boisterous but I completely clam up when weight is brought up. I know I need to start telling people in my life because I've been big my entire life (98lbs in kindergarten) so people have always known me to be this size. Once I start dropping weight significantly I'm sure people will know that there was some surgical intervention. What are your experiences and thoughts with sharing your decision with people?

[her1981 448]

I only share with people I want to share with. Others I just don't say how I'm losing.

[bigguy928 82]

I only share with people I want to share with. Others I just don't say how I'm losing.

What do you say to those people that ask?

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[JapGirl 229]

I am current just over 2 weeks until my sleeve as well.

The important people know. My office thinks I'm having a hernia repair, which isn't a lie. I've been losing weight steadily for the past month or so and because of my starting bmi I'm expected to be a slow loser. But if someone asks I plan to tell them that I'm eating smaller healthier portions and exercising. Which also isn't a lie.

Forewarning..... other overweight people are not always supportive so don't bank on that and tell them. They alot of times get mean. Of the few friends I've told the skinny ones are supportive. One overweight person was supportive (she is currently in the same process), but the other overweight person was a complete turd about it.

Edited February 6, 2016 by 030608070609

[Daveo 485]

Congrats on the upcoming surgery! I told mainly my close family and some people at work because I would need the time off to heal. Just a note, take two weeks off if you can. I took one and wish I had taken two. But yeah I only told a hand full of people. I told others once I started losing weight and they asked why I was eating so little. It's really nobody's business but you will get questions.

[HapyTrls 71]

Hey guys!

I'm about two weeks until my sleeve and I've on recently started telling close people. Weight has always been such a sensitive subject for me I never want to discuss it with anyone. I'm very outgoing and boisterous but I completely clam up when weight is brought up. I know I need to start telling people in my life because I've been big my entire life (98lbs in kindergarten) so people have always known me to be this size. Once I start dropping weight significantly I'm sure people will know that there was some surgical intervention. What are your experiences and thoughts with sharing your decision with people?

I only shared with immediate family, husband daughters and sonnlaw. We went out a couple of days before surgery and I spilled the Beans to 3 good friends one had guessed it and admitted she had just completed classes at Kasier too.

I am retired so I do not have to deal with work. There is one person who we want to share with he was a personal trainer for me and we adopted him sort of, he is finishing 3 yr med school currently rotations in hospital have not seen him for a couple of months but he holds bootcamp on Saturday when sch allows. So I will tell him next I see him???? but not sure where he stands on subject

Edited February 6, 2016 by HapyTrls

[bigguy928 82]

Yeah I don't think I'm prepared for the questions. It really is no one's business but I do like the idea of simply telling people smaller portions because that wouldn't be a lie.

I can also relate to overweight people being less receptive to the news. It's almost as if they're taking offense or are jealous that they aren't doing the same but I'm not stopping them! But I've gotten a lot of support from my fit/slim friends.

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[mrs w 56]

Yeah I don't think I'm prepared for the questions. It really is no one's business but I do like the idea of simply telling people smaller portions because that wouldn't be a lie.

I can also relate to overweight people being less receptive to the news. It's almost as if they're taking offense or are jealous that they aren't doing the same but I'm not stopping them! But I've gotten a lot of support from my fit/slim friends.

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I told my parents and husband. My parents were completely against it but my dad has since told me that although he doesn't agree with it he's proud of me.

I originally heard about the surgery and Mexico option from a lady at work. We had even discussed going together. She went in September but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Needed more time to research and really wanted to give regular diet and exercise one last sincere try.

Since September she has done amazing and is down 85. In November I told her I was planning to go and she was so unsupportive and told me it would be the biggest mistake of my life... Although I'm not quite a month out, so far I have no regrets. Needless to say I lied and told her I decided against it.

[lifeofblair 308]

Before surgery, only my mom and one friend knew. After, people started figuring it out and everybody has been supportive at least to my face.

[bigguy928 82]

Yeah I don't think I'm prepared for the questions. It really is no one's business but I do like the idea of simply telling people smaller portions because that wouldn't be a lie.

I can also relate to overweight people being less receptive to the news. It's almost as if they're taking offense or are jealous that they aren't doing the same but I'm not stopping them! But I've gotten a lot of support from my fit/slim friends.

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I told my parents and husband. My parents were completely against it but my dad has since told me that although he doesn't agree with it he's proud of me.

I originally heard about the surgery and Mexico option from a lady at work. We had even discussed going together. She went in September but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Needed more time to research and really wanted to give regular diet and exercise one last sincere try.

Since September she has done amazing and is down 85. In November I told her I was planning to go and she was so unsupportive and told me it would be the biggest mistake of my life... Although I'm not quite a month out, so far I have no regrets. Needless to say I lied and told her I decided against it.

Wait I'm not sure I understand... The friend who told you about the surgery and lost 85lbs is the same friend who was unsupportive of your decision? How so?

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[bigguy928 82]

Before surgery, only my mom and one friend knew. After, people started figuring it out and everybody has been supportive at least to my face.

I think it's because we think of weight in such negative terms that we assume people feel the same. But really I've come to realize that people who have never had a weight issue before do not know the first thing about bariatrics or even something as simple as calorie counting for that matter. If they hear that you've had a surgery to help you lose weight that's all it is to them really. I don't think they regard it in such negative terms like we do so much as they see that we're taking a positive step towards a healthier us. It's just that simple to them where it is more complex to us.

So I'm sure those people who are supportive to your face are supportive behind your back. Really if anyone thinks that this is the easy way out then they don't know the first thing about the surgery and have no idea what they're talking about.

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[Erossi 14]

I am the same way. I talked with my husband and asked him "What should I say, if people ask questions?" Loved his response, tell them you have made some life changes. You have decided to take care of yourself. If they ask more just say you'd rather not discuss it. It has worked out so far. Good luck

[mrs w 56]

Yeah I don't think I'm prepared for the questions. It really is no one's business but I do like the idea of simply telling people smaller portions because that wouldn't be a lie.

I can also relate to overweight people being less receptive to the news. It's almost as if they're taking offense or are jealous that they aren't doing the same but I'm not stopping them! But I've gotten a lot of support from my fit/slim friends.

Sent from my LG-D850 using Tapatalk

I told my parents and husband. My parents were completely against it but my dad has since told me that although he doesn't agree with it he's proud of me.

I originally heard about the surgery and Mexico option from a lady at work. We had even discussed going together. She went in September but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Needed more time to research and really wanted to give regular diet and exercise one last sincere try.

Since September she has done amazing and is down 85. In November I told her I was planning to go and she was so unsupportive and told me it would be the biggest mistake of my life... Although I'm not quite a month out, so far I have no regrets. Needless to say I lied and told her I decided against it.

Wait I'm not sure I understand... The friend who told you about the surgery and lost 85lbs is the same friend who was unsupportive of your decision? How so?

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Haha, exactly my point. She was all encouraging when she thought we were going to go together. Now that she's lost tons and is feeling super confident all of a sudden doesn't want others to be as successful it seems. I just mention it because I thought of all people she would be understanding and supportive. Funny how some of the people you expect to be there for you are the ones that are the opposite.

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

Once I start dropping weight significantly I'm sure people will know that there was some surgical intervention. What are your experiences and thoughts with sharing your decision with people?

People think that, but I have found that isn't really true. If you are living a life that is a healthy life, eating less, eating Protein and veggies and working out. People will assume that is why you are losing weight. Most people don't jump to surgery as the reason you are losing weight.

Most people think that losing weight is fairly easy, eat less and move more. They watch biggest loser and all these other shows and they think diet and exercise can make weight just fall off.

Don't feel like you HAVE to tell just because people are going to be curious or assume.

Once you tell people you can't take it back, or control who they tell, so keep that in mind.

[bigguy928 82]

I am the same way. I talked with my husband and asked him "What should I say, if people ask questions?" Loved his response, tell them you have made some life changes. You have decided to take care of yourself. If they ask more just say you'd rather not discuss it. It has worked out so far. Good luck

I like this a lot! I really am sick of the fat shaming especially that it's still prominent in the medical field. My primary care physician went off on me about my mental health diagnoses, said it's all in my head and that once I start losing weight I'll be much happier. I quote her "maybe the surgery is a gift from God for you not to be fat anymore." ha if that's my pcps reaction to my situation I don't even care to know some of my peers'. These responses are great thanks guys!

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