How to tell children about surgery

[Npdavis 0]

I am scheduled for lap band surgery on the 24th and now that the time to start my liquid diet is near, I feel I need to explain this all to my 5 and 10 year old. I also teach 2nd grade and I am unsure what to tell the kids about why I will be out for a week.

Does anyone have advice on talking to children about the lap band?

Thanks!

[gin765 49]

Hi! I have a 4.5 and 6-year old. I didn't tell them anything in advance, because I knew they would be upset about mommy going to the hospital. I also didn't feel like they could understand, much less need to be burdened with, such an adult issue. My husband travels on business sometimes, so we just told them I had an appointment and would be staying at a hotel overnight. After I returned from the hospital, I did have to tell them I had "owies" on my belly so they wouldn't jump on me. The incisions looked so good, they really didn't think anything of it.

I wouldn't go into detail about the procedure with even a 10-year old, other than maybe saying the doctor saw something in your belly that needed to be fixed. It's just kind of an abstract concept. My friends can't even understand it! You can certainly get away with just telling your students you went on vacation or something. They'll never know the difference.

Wishing you much success!

[DaisyAmy 561]

I told my kiddo that the dr was going to make my stomach smaller to help me eat less so I could be healthier. My kid was 13, so I used more precise terms, but still same idea. It also helped that friends of the family had gone through it a while back.

I teach, too - speech therapist. I was out for a week and really didn't tell my kids anything. It's a little different for a classroom teacher, but I'm sure you can just say "be good, have a great week! I'll see you next Monday!" It's up to you how much info you share, but know that you're entitled to your privacy!

[anwen_ut 47]

I had a 6 and 10 year old. They knew I was having surgery to be "more healthy". For the 6 year old specifically it helped to come up with an arbitrary number for her to know when it was safe to hug me, etc. For me, I told her that each day I would gain 10%. It helped her know when we could snuggle, hug, and eventually jump. (10 days was a good amount for me to get back "100%" - at least for hugs!).

It has actually been great to see how supportive they both are. They don't need to know specifics to know you are doing this to help your health. And, from my experience, they can really help with support through recovery and ongoing work!

I agree that it may not be something you need to burden your class with, though. As someone who isn't a teacher, I really can't add a lot of insight on that aspect.

Edited February 3, 2016 by anwen_ut

[pink dahlia 2,513]

I honestly don't think your classroom of little kids even need to know about your upcoming surgery, I think you would be opening up a completely unnecessary can of worms. They're too young to understand the details and they would likely go home and ask a lot of questions that their parents likely won't know the answers to, so I would just tell them something easier to absorb. Your kids ? "Mommy has been having some problems digesting food, so the Dr.s going to make it all better, and I'll have to really rest for a week and take care of the bandages etc. Easy. Good luck !!!

[Stephanne 24]

I told my kids (7, 10 &13) that I was having surgery to loose weight so that I would have more energy to play with them. I really emphasized the "more energy" and "healthier" side of things rather than just the weight loss. It seemed to work well for them. We went to church tonight for the first time since surgery 3 weeks ago. My middle son said one of his friends asked where he had been and he told him "my mom had surgery so we had to stay home so she could rest." Being a 10 yr old boy his friend asked what kind of surgery and my son told him that it was surgery so I would have more energy. I thought that was a pretty good answer for a 10 year old.

[Leah0157 0]

I told my 5 year old that I need to get healthy...rhat she likes going to the park and swimming and that when mommy gets healthy I can do all that with her and we can have more fun together. ...she is excited and wants to eat healthy with me now