Keeping your surgery a secret - is it possible?

[Lydia PR 11]

I'm scheduled for the mini gastric sleeve with Dr Todd McCarty in February - see my previous post about details if you want.

I've mentioned that I've been thinking about this to several friends and 1 family member but many of them don't support the idea. I've been told 'just diet' (I've been on every diet there is), you're not that heavy, just increase your exercise (beyond the 3 times a week that I do a 1 hour aerobics class). Most of you have likely heard all of the amateur advice as well.

So other than a couple of supportive friends, I'm not telling anyone else about my surgery before it's done.

Any advice?

[lauriev 71]

Like I said in my other post response to you, I was in your shoes. Out of the few people I told I was thinking about this, only two were supportive and they have both had gastric bypass with my same surgeon. They are my go-to people when I have questions, and when we have group luncheons we buddy up. I usually tell people "she can't eat all that and I don't need to" when we share a dish so no one thinks it is weird.

I have found it funny that I guess I am losing weight slowly enough that no one has even mentioned my loss. They all think that it is all attributed to my not eating bread, Pasta and rice. I even had someone in the office ask me if I knew what another girl in my group was doing to lose weight because she had lost a "ton". I just kind of chuckled to myself - I have lost roughly 28 lbs and no one has noticed. Now that I have told you that, let me also say that I have not been great about getting in my Protein and Water. If I would work the program I would lose more and faster.....and obviously that is what I want to be doing so I MUST get off my butt and handle my business. Once I start losing faster, it might be a little harder to keep it a secret.

[Lydia PR 11]

Thank you Laurie. I won't mind telling people after it is done. But the lack of support from several people has me hesitant to tell anyone before surgery. Given my good health, I think everything will go smoothly.

Also, my boyfriend is in the medical field and I don't think he is going to like the idea. But I'm doing this for me, not him.

[BCs 1000 364]

I only told my husband and my mum, both super supportive. After reading what some members have been through I will be keeping it this way. I don't need any judgement, this is hard enough already.

[AvaFern 3,516]

I didn't tell anyone until after my surgery and to this day (28 months post-op) only my three best friends knew I had the procedure done. It is entirely possible to keep it a secret and I have always been happy that I chose to go that route. In hindsight, I would have only told one of my three best friends, primarily because she is a nurse and I am a private person. All three have been very supportive and have never once made me feel badly about my decisions, so it is probably unfair to say I wish I hadn't told them.

[hpa 104]

What really bothers me is people make it out to be about vanity and feel they have the right to say anything but would these same people say something to someone who say got breast augmentation, liposuction, botox. We are doing this for health reasons and maybe a little vanity but that is ok.

[Nurse_Lenora 903]

I am having surgery in February. I have told no one except my partner. No one needs to know IMO. It's my business and not fodder for people's unsolicited opinions.

What I have done far is around Thanksgiving I started telling everyone how I started working with a nutritionist ( not a lie! I did but for surgery prep and beyond)

Now this month I have been on my pre op liquid diet since January 1st and people are starting to notice I am losing weight. I say thank you, I have been working with a nutritionist since the first of the year!

This is how I will continue. I don't want any opinions so I will not give anyone any way to judge me.

Good luck!

[LipstickLady 25,682]

The only people that know about mine are my kids and husband, my mom and dad, and a handful of besties. At almost three years out, I've never felt the need to tell anyone else. It's worked out fine.

The only people who irritate the sh!t out of me are the WLS patients who make the personal decision to tell everyone and judge me for not doing so. I'm not "lying", I'm not "embarrassed", I simply don't feel it's my job to educate, advocate or teach the general population about this process.

Neither choice is right or better, it's simply a choice.

[MIMISAN 404]

My husband knows and my children (all grown). My girlfriend at work knows and of course my boss. I am not keeping it a secret really but work with 10 men and 1 woman and as I said she knows. Everyone knows or should know that I have been on a diet but I am sure that when I take off 1 to 3 weeks everyone will know because the workplace is full of gossips and it doesn't bother me really. The only thing I will detest is the same thing that bothers me when your on a diet and that is that everyone wants to be your watch dog. I know some people want to keep it a secret but I figure if I start losing large amounts of weight they are going to think that either I had WLS or I am dying! LOL

[24601 210]

I am 2 months post op and only told my husband, parents, and three of my best friends. Now that I am down almost 40 lbs, I am starting to get a lot of comments and questions from people, like, how am I doing it? I tell them I changed my diet. I leave it at that. I don't need people judging me on my surgery when they know none of my struggles of what led me to it.

[PayItForward 207]

I'm sure that it is possible to keep it a secret. But I have told everyone that asks me and so far, they have all been very supportive.

[walkinggirl 90]

I am 1 week post op and only told my husband and 3 other close family members. I don't plan on sharing it with anyone else. It's my body and it's personal and I just really don't feel like sharing the information. When I missed work last week, I told my boss and coworkers that I had a bad stomach bug.

[Cutepretty1 121]

I only told my significant other and my sister. Sometimes people can be too judgemental and condescending. It was best for me not to share the journey with people.

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

4 people know I had surgery, all of them live out of state and none of them even live in the same state together.

It is easy to keep your surgery a secret.

I have lost almost 100lbs since surgery and over 100lbs from my high weight. My current weight and BMI is the same as what some people start at is and it may seem high but "I carry my weight well", for whatever that is worth. The difference in how I look is massive. I have lost 6 dress sizes, like 15 inches off my lower abdomen, and a lot of other changes.

People that see me often, people in my complex, employees of places I frequent have complimented my weight loss. The people in my complex know that I walk 2-3 times a day. Walking the whole complex is around a mile. They see me all the time. They are probably attributing my weight loss to that. People that know me, and don't know I have had surgery, know that I Keto. They know I am strict about it and in my home there are no bad carbs. I live a lifestyle that matches weight loss.

Unlike what a lot of people that feel like everyone should shout their WLS surgery from the roof tops think. You can easily keep your surgery a secret. People will not be curious or suspect anything out of the ordinary if you live a lifestyle that matches weight loss. Also, to most people WLS is an abstract thought. They haven't experienced it, or seen it up close and if they have it is usually the bad example. If you are going it the right way, you don't draw attention to yourself.

I do think the only way to keep it a secret is to not tell anyone. If you tell a relative or a co-worker there is nothing to stop them from telling another person they don't think will tell.

[rastus 35]

My wife & no one else....

I had surgery for gall bladder [this surgeon recommended I have someone else look @ doing a sleeve] then got golden staph & weight was dropping off.

Saw sleeve surgeon & was operated on the week after staph all clear.

So friends & neighbours saw nothing out of the ordinary except I eat about 1/4 of what I ate before, knock back second helpings etc.