Support

[Jeanette1246 34]

I have had my whole support system doing everything but supporting this life changing decision of mine. My surgery date is set for February 8th, and I feel like I just want to go to the hospital by myself to do this. I have been in this process since July. In that time I have not once felt like my family understands or even sympathizes. Perhaps I am just taking it all to heart, and maybe they are all more nervous and worried for me than I know, but it really hurts to feel like you are facing this all alone. I am really scared and nervous. I have three small children under the age of 4, I'm trying to keep myself positive but finding it very difficult. I'm not someone who gets super emotional, and I have had two mini melt downs today and I'm still a week pre op. Feeling defeated and could use some support.

[Valentina 2,642]

I DID drive myself to the hospital the morning of my surgery. I know how long and lonely that trip was.

I finally decided that: I was giving myself this "present" of good health,/ a longer life to be able to interact with my children, family and friends on a much more active level.

The tag on your "present" should read, "To: ME, From: ME, Love, ME"

Be kind to yourself. Everything and everyone will fall into place.

Take care and keep in touch--often,

Valentina

[Jeanette1246 34]

Thank you so much! It's just a topic someone doesn't understand unless they have walked down this path. I'm so proud of myself for taking the first step and starting this process. I just wish I wasn't pushing forward without my family. I can't wait to feel like me again and take my life back! Thanks again for your kind words.

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

I am so sorry you aren't feeling supported.

It is very common to feel anxious and fearful in the weeks before surgery. They are also probably feeling anxious and fearful, too. I think we all need reassurance from our loved ones.

The problem is that they may not understand what we are going through or what we need. Sometimes we may not know that ourselves.

Be gentle with yourself and try giving your family the benefit of the doubt. Being very specific about what you need in the way of support is also helpful.

Instead of expecting some general support be sure and ask for what you need. Be specific (i.e., can you watch the kids while I gather the things I need for the hospital?)

We do understand what you are going through so feel free to lean on us for moral support.

Best of luck with your surgery.

[Jeanette1246 34]

That is great advice. Maybe being more specific will help everyone out. Good point on possibly not knowing myself what I actually need. Again, thank you for listening.

[Bluesky1 191]

I have had my whole support system doing everything but supporting this life changing decision of mine. My surgery date is set for February 8th, and I feel like I just want to go to the hospital by myself to do this. I have been in this process since July. In that time I have not once felt like my family understands or even sympathizes. Perhaps I am just taking it all to heart, and maybe they are all more nervous and worried for me than I know, but it really hurts to feel like you are facing this all alone. I am really scared and nervous. I have three small children under the age of 4, I'm trying to keep myself positive but finding it very difficult. I'm not someone who gets super emotional, and I have had two mini melt downs today and I'm still a week pre op. Feeling defeated and could use some support.

I have had my whole support system doing everything but supporting this life changing decision of mine. My surgery date is set for February 8th, and I feel like I just want to go to the hospital by myself to do this. I have been in this process since July. In that time I have not once felt like my family understands or even sympathizes. Perhaps I am just taking it all to heart, and maybe they are all more nervous and worried for me than I know, but it really hurts to feel like you are facing this all alone. I am really scared and nervous. I have three small children under the age of 4, I'm trying to keep myself positive but finding it very difficult. I'm not someone who gets super emotional, and I have had two mini melt downs today and I'm still a week pre op. Feeling defeated and could use some support.

Hi,

Just reaching out to say...you're not alone. I too am going into my surgery (Feb. 23rd) without my husbands support and have many of the same feelings you have. I'm trying to pray and focus on all the reasons why I know this is right for me. I encourage you to do the same. You know your struggle and you know how hard this battle has been. I'm sure you didn't come by this decision lightly. I guess other people who haven't battled, just don't get it.

Thank you for sharing your heart here. Praying that all fear, anxiety, worry, and sadness will leave you as you prepare for a GREAT journey to where you want to be.

God bless you!

[Jeanette1246 34]

Best of luck to you also.im glad we have found a place that we can go to with our thoughts and fears and that everyone reading understands. I will also keep praying, especially on the 23rd. You are not alone either. ????