Replying to a "Wow, How are you Losing so much Weight?"

[BobbyD 211]

I am doing this wrong. It might be from years of low self esteem, but I'm not getting the warm fuzzies from these comments. I am not used to being able to accept compliments and I don't know how to do it properly . Yesterday was a breakthrough experience. I was wearing new clothes that fit, and all day long at school (I teach) I was receiving compliments such as "Wow, Bobby, you're looking great, how are you doing it?" My reply would ALWAYS be something like," aww, its nothing 12,000 dollars can't accomplish," or immediately say, "I had gastric sleeve surgery", as if that was the entire story. No wonder people were looking at me strangely and just going "0h!" and walk on. I set myself up for it , and then was frustrated when they didn't continue to be impressed. I need therapy for sure. I had to diminishi my part in this and believe you me, it hasn't been a walk in the park. I don't know, rather than skew it one way or the other, I don't know why I can't just be forthright and honest.

[Sharon1964 2,530]

Well, you could always wink and say "voodoo". Or "I've decided food is overrated".

It sounds like the way you are responding is negating their compliment, which is why you get "oh".

You could also ignore their question and just say, "thanks! I feel great!". And smile big.

[DaisyAmy 561]

I teach, too, and slowly but surely many of my colleagues know the truth. All have been very supportive (at least to my face) and I think most recognize that I did a lot in my own preop (about 60 pounds).

For most people who I wouldn't share my medical details with, I just smile, say "thanks" and maybe "it's a battle!"

What annoys me when I tell someone about WLS, is when they say "oh, that explains it" - like the surgery is the only thing that is causing the weight loss. Not the constant decisions to eat smart, drink Water, take Vitamins, exercise, etc.

Oh well. I'm thrilled with my decision. No one else's opinions matter!!

[Babbs 14,681]

Just say "I'm watching portions, eating healthy and excercising".

You wouldn't be lying.

Something always perplexed me. Why is it people always want to know HOW? I mean, how does anyone do it? By eating less and moving more. Are they looking for some magical answer?

[2goldengirl 2,076]

What's telling for me in this is your very first words were "I'm doing this wrong". And I think you're right, the roots of that may lie in your self-esteem issues.

Once upon a time, I had trouble accepting compliments. Someone I was close to taught me: "it's a compliment. Smile and say thank you." Try it, the more you practice, the better you get at it. Then you can work on the other stuff, the letting the compliments in, the accepting yourself and your accomplishments.

You might try saying "thank you for noticing. I've been working hard." Because you have.

[KristenVSG2014 1,872]

I'll usually say:

"A LOT of hard work."

"Eating less, focusing on Protein and exercise."

"I've been working with my doctor on a customized diet and exercise plan."

And they are all true! Give yourself credit. The surgery is a tool. YOU still choose what goes in your mouth.

[GibbsGirl 483]

Have them lean way in and whisper "faeries".

[KristenVSG2014 1,872]

I forgot to mention, I was walking through the lobby of my work when a customer stops me. I'm ready to answer a banking question and they said, "You've lost a LOT of weight. Were you sick or was it on purpose?" I actually laughed out loud and told her it was on purpose. I'm thinking, "Geez, I'm glad it WASN'T from being sick...that would be a very sensitive and inappropriate question."

[KristenVSG2014 1,872]

OOOHHH! I just came up with a really great response. This would of course be because I love the shock factor and making sure no one wants to ask me anything ever again...but when someone asks you HOW you lost weight, tell them they discovered a massive tapeworm in your intestines. No matter what you eat you keep dropping weight. The doctors wanted to remove it but you're so happy you've lost weight you decided to keep it and give it a name. Then tell them the worm's name.

[kelliev2015 136]

@kristenvsg2014: that's a great response. ???? I'd love to see the look on someone's face.

I think people ask "how" cause they want to do it too. Anytime I ask someone how is cause they look amazing and clearly, nothing I do is working. I'm hoping they'll say they discovered a miracle weight loss drug or something. Haha. I think people say "oh" or walk away to the response of surgery cause people get super uncomfortable with that conversation for some reason. I have a good friend who every time I bring it up, she nods her head or quickly acknowledges it and then changes the subject. She doesn't make me feel bad or unsupported, it just makes her uncomfortable for whatever reason. Talking about someone's weight can be a very personal thing. Also, people have a hard time discussing things they don't understand. I don't think you are doing anything wrong. I think the way people are responding is wrong but really, who cares? ????

[bellabloom 2,467]

They want to know what your "secret" is because they want to lose weight too. I'm always so torn. Some people I tell, others I say Portion Control and no sugar. It depends on who it is. Really it's a private thing. I think in the future I'm going to try harder to brush by the question and not tell anyone anymore. I'm tired of Talking about it. I look forward to a time when no one remembers me as overweight...