Responsibility

[4MRB4PHOTO 3,900]

Many people choose not to take responsibility for their actions. We all have experiences and stressors that affect us. Some are quite intense, but it is up to us to deal with them and take responsibility for our own actions.

I find myself going back to old habits of overeating and making less than stellar food choices many times. I have been working many long hours, there are stresses at home, my wife has never been very supportive and there have been emotionally trying events in my life, but ultimately it is up to me to deal with them in a positive way (or in the very least, in a less self-destructive way by not making these bad eating choices).

I control what food I place in my mouth and the quantities. It is up to me to decide how successful I want to use this WLS tool to lose my excess weight.

I noticed many people refuse to take responsibility for their actions, whether it is excess weight loss or life in general.

I found an article with some nice quotes and suggestions on how we need to take responsibility for our own actions; I attached the link below:

http://www.positivityblog.com/index.php/2009/03/13/7-timeless-thoughts-on-taking-responsibility-for-your-life/

Sometimes we need to put on our "big boy underwear" or "big girl panties" or both, if someone is a cross-dresser.

Edited January 30, 2016 by 4MRB4PHOTO

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Thanks a lot for these thoughts, @@4MRB4PHOTO .

Personal responsibility is the bottom line, isn't it?

Happily, taking personal responsibility for our health is easier when we have built healthy new habits. It's easier to do something that's good for us the hundredth or thousandth time than when we are trying it out for the first or tenth time. Courage to try something new and consistent practice matter so much.

In this vein, I've been so impressed by the power of the new habits I've been able to build, thanks to WLS. Things I used to imagine would forever be difficult aren't hard anymore, like chewing well, eating slower, not drinking with meals, measuring my food, planning and tracking my meals, walking daily, doing stretching exercises daily.

The new habit I'm working on now is meditating. Daily meditation has the potential to help on all fronts by keeping me more focused, less distracted, less impulsive, calmer, and more accepting of life as it is, not as I wished it were.

Put another way, s**t happens. Yet we always have the option of making good choices.

Finally, here's one of my favorite new sayings (don't know who came up with this gem): "Not my circus. Not my monkeys."

Thanks again for the OP.

[able2cope 193]

Thanks for sharing this.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Don't assume that everyone who has poor results with WLS doesn't take responsibility. In fact I would say an overly heightened sense of self blame contributed to me waiting so long before seeking help after failing with the lapband.

[Dub 9,922]

Stress can be a monster.

A real living and breathing monster.

The only way that I can effectively find to beat it down is to face the sources head on. If it's a weight related stress.....then do things that support weight loss. If it's job related then I put in extra focus, go in on my off days and get caught up or even ahead if possible. It's impossible to work longer on the days that I'm there. Regular workday is 13-14 hours. Law of diminshing returns comes into play really late in the day. I'm not making much headway when I'm running out of gas.

If the stress is marraige related then I have honest and candid converstaions with my wife and accept the outcome. Sometimes it is simply best for me to level with her and "tell it like it is". I recently did this and am glad to be unburdened with that stressor. She heard what I had to say and is still mulling it over. Whatever the outcome....I know I was respectful yet honest.

Big boy underwear ?........yup....hitch 'em up or simply go commando.

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,444]

Now and then I find myself not acknowledging my role in things that go wrong or just haven't worked from the start, but I do pull myself back before too long. People who work at being clueless about their failed weight-loss efforts or why other areas of life aren't working make me crazy. Before long the kindest thing I can do for them is either to change the subject or walk away.

@@CowgirlJane, I understand your point. It seems to me, however, that those of us who delay going back in to the surgery practice are far more self-indulgent than accepting of responsibility. Postponing what's in our best interest is a matter of, "Oh, poor me, what have I done? I'm so ashamed/embarrassed/humiliated. Me, me, me, it's all about me." Where's the part about taking responsibility and doing what makes sense to do? It's wasteful and a shame that it can take so long to get there.

@@4MRB4PHOTO, working and married? That's fine, but something you wrote early in my tenure at BP led me to think you're a college student. Can't recall what it was. As to the big-girl and big-boy undies, I hope you didn't mean simultaneously in the third instance you spelled out.

@@Dub, your last line? You did it again, rascal.

Edited January 30, 2016 by WLSResources/ClothingExch

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

At the time, I felt that it was 100% my fault I had such poor results. While no one else put. The food in my mouth, what I now recognize is that I didn't receive the right education or support. I also recognize that I was pretty advanced in the obesity disease process so I was very hungry, even with the lapband. I had a huge drive to eat that I assumed was 100% emotional but in truth turned out to be probably 80% physical.

I do believe in self responsibility though, in all aspects of life.

[Valentina 2,642]

I am a canine behaviorist and have been for over 40yrs. I simply love instructing people how to use their God given common sense when wanting their dog to behave.

Over the years it never fails to make me laugh when a returning client (same person with a different dog) comes up to me and is so proud that they were able to pick a puppy who was soooo much smarter than their first dog they brought through my classes. Silly person! It's not the dog--it you!!! It is much easier to learn good habits that to retrain bad ones.!

Bad habits once entrenched are devishly difficult to retrain. It can be done and once it is, whatever the learned bad behavior was will probably never be repeated. Good habits take the same amount of time to learn, and so much more meaningful and fun--having only positive results.

So, here we are, retraining our lives---learning good habits. Difficult? sometimes. Worthwhile? Hell yeah!!

I guess what I'm trying to say is good things happen when we not only take responsibility for our bad habits, but are willing to put in the time and effort to retrain ourselves into good ones.

[4MRB4PHOTO 3,900]

Don't assume that everyone who has poor results with WLS doesn't take responsibility. In fact I would say an overly heightened sense of self blame contributed to me waiting so long before seeking help after failing with the lapband.

That is why I said "...many people refuse to take responsibility for their actions, whether it is excess weight loss or life in general....". Responsibility isn't just related to weight loss.

[4MRB4PHOTO 3,900]

@WLSResources/ClothingExch

I'm not sure what I wrote. Maybe I mentioned I have a child in college?

Regarding the simultaneous wearing of a cross-dresser wearing underwear and panties at the same time is ridiculous! (They wear the undergarment of their gender when they dress in their gender's clothing and as the opposite gender, they wear the other gender's undergarments. )

@@Dub

I didn't need that "commando" image. Does anybody have some Clorox I can think about.

[Babbs 14,681]

I don't want to be 'that guy', but we do live in the era of lack of responsibility. It seems everyone has an excuse.

If we don't take some kind of responsibility for our actions, then who the hell will? How does anything get accomplished otherwise?

Fact is, it doesn't. Simple as that.

[4MRB4PHOTO 3,900]

[MrsKarenC2008 622]

@Valentina Can you offer us a class on learning new behaviors ? That made so much sense to me ... wow. I'm still smiling

@@Dub I think we should vote you the "class clown" ... and I mean that in the nicest way possible! You are always making me laugh! Sometimes so much so ... that I get funny looks from co-workers!

@4MRB4PHOTO ... Subliminal thoughts of bleach ... oxy clean ... tide with bleach ... Clorox ... ivory soap ...

[Valentina 2,642]

@Valentina Can you offer us a class on learning new behaviors ? That made so much sense to me ... wow. I'm still smiling

@@Dub I think we should vote you the "class clown" ... and I mean that in the nicest way possible! You are always making me laugh! Sometimes so much so ... that I get funny looks from co-workers!

@4MRB4PHOTO ... Subliminal thoughts of bleach ... oxy clean ... tide with bleach ... Clorox ... ivory soap ...

Sure I can! --been doing just that for many, many years. It's not Learning new behaviors that is difficult. That for the most part is self examination and common sense. It is the "retraining" out of the bad habits that can be difficult, but as the old saying SHOULD go: "You Can teach an old dog new tricks". It just takes patience, compassion and consistency.

Ya'll just come on up here to the Catskill Mts and we can have those group meetings that Dub was talking about...

[MrsKarenC2008 622]

@Valentina It could be like a WLS retreat! I'M IN !!!!

@@Dub will be there tooo? I had better pack DEPENDS !!!!! ( for all the laughing we'll be doing )

Ohhh and you live in the Mountains? I'm DOUBLE in !!