Surgery Monday. I'm about to back out!

[cookarue 233]

I just had surgery, and I've got two little tiny perfect baby girls at home also. I've known for a long time that I want surgery, and it's the only way I'll be able to spend more of my life with my girls and my amazing husband. Each time I had doubts, I just put it out of my mind. I wasn't about to let some short, creeping thoughts, ruin my path towards my goals. Sipping Water sucks, you get used to it, not drinking sucks, you get used to it. It's NOT permanent, it's temporary. I have dealt with all the negatives from being overweight, so I can deal with a few negatives to losing weight also. Only thing is, the negatives of losing weight are temporary, the negatives of staying overweight are permanent and very deadly.

Edited January 24, 2016 by cookarue

[Ryan TN 348]

Well this is my first post ever. let me just say I am married, I am the father to two young girls. I have high blood pressure, sleep apnea, starting to be diabetic and I'm getting arthritis in my knees. I have been a lurker for months now. I have been on this forum reading and looking at pictures like crazy. I have gone through all the preop lab works doctors appointments etc. etc.

Surgery is finally here I have been going back-and-forth in my head for the last two weeks. Last night I went to target to stock up on all the necessities I needed for post op and I had a major meltdown. I actually had tears in my eyes and had to put everything I was about to purchase back on the shelf and leave the store with my head doWn. I am a 43-year-old manly man, bearded biker type, and was practically in tears. Tomorrow is my clear liquid diet before surgery on Monday. I'm a complete wreck today. The permanence of the surgery, the not drinking an hour during dinner, major chewing of my food from now on (instead of just eating normal), never being able to guzzle Water, (or anything for that matter), never drinking a beer again. These things and more are whizzing violently through my head. I'm on the fence, off the fence all day long....I know this is not well written and jumbled as this is how my head is today.

I'm a wreck..... Anybody got anything?

I am married, father of two boys, also HAD HBP, sleep apnea, prediabetes and getting arthritis in my knees. Dude, I am you, except I am 11 weeks post op from gastric sleeve. I am down 75 pounds from when I started my pre op diet. I too contemplated the "finality" of this surgery. I have only had a little minor hiccup involving some gallbladder pain, other than that, no problems at all. I would do it again tomorrow if I had to. I came off my cpap machine just a few weeks after surgery, no more bp meds, I dont know about my prediabetes numbers, but i assume they are better. I still have some knee pain that I think I'll go to the ortho on. Everyone probably thinks like you, I did, and don't regret anything. It really changes how you perceive food. Do it, you wont regret it.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

It was really hard at first, but 4 years out, most of the "worries" are just meaningless. Delay if you need to, talk to those of us further down the road and I will give you the straight skinny. In the meantime, look at some before and after pix. If you are on a computer you can just click my profile to see them. Forget about my body, just look at the pain in my eyes in my before and the smile afterwards. It saved my life.

[lwmatch 31]

Frank, relax, you got this. My biggest fear was dying and not being there to raise my grandkids. High blood pressure, heart surgery before, etc., etc. 5 weeks ago had the sleeve and double hernia surgery. For what you can look forward to on losing weight, one of the easiest things you'll ever do. No more yoyo diets, no more drugs to lose weight, only to gain more back. The only thing to p_ss you off is why did you wait to do it! Good luck, my friend, I hope you gain the peace of mind to make the choice that is right for you!

[Shiloh2004 20]

I am in the process of getting approved for the vertical sleeve gastrectomy so I am not in your shoes yet. I should find out more Wednesday. I have so many medical issues, most of them tied to being 100 lbs overweight. I am sick and tired of feeling the way I do. I want to feel better about myself. I want to feel better for my family. I want to see my grandchildren have kids. In order to do that, I must make some major sacrifices. At this moment, the pros outweigh the cons for me. As I approach surgery, I am sure that I will teeter on the fence. If you can talk with someone who is post op, or with someone in your support group tonight, please do so. This forum is here for you. We support you, but the choice comes down to being yours and yours alone. It will be difficult for all of us, but if we lean on each other, we can do this!

Edited January 24, 2016 by Shiloh2004

[Robin Leighbuchanan 48]

You mentioned your kids, I'll bet they are rooting for you, and that has to be a huge motivator for you.

My husband is a manly man, too...and even though he didn't get the surgery, he is on the same weight loss track as I am. I know he misses the stuff he used to enjoy, but he really likes how he feels now. He is so encouraging and keeps telling me "Thank you" because if I hadn't gotten the sleeve, he would not have lost the lbs.

The reason I'm telling you this is because he's a much happier, healthier man. I know you will be, too. Please hang in there and do what you know you need to do. I'm certainly not sorry I did the GSS, and I promise you won't regret your decision.

Look to the future, you won't be missing anything important because you are not eating or drinking a specific thing. You're going to have a different frame of mind about how to be successful and take back control of what you want your life to be all about.

I wish you all the best in all you do.

[barber44 12]

I am 4 months out 73 lbs down and feel great! I had the same worry. Not going to say it hasn't taken some getting use to but man has it been worth it. Knees feel better, energy up , blood work great, and so much more. Somethings have been hard to get use to but nothing that was as crazy as some have made it out to be. We all are different and it will affect use in different ways. I'm 38 and also a mans man. But know I am a lot healthier mans man. If u need to talk or ask any ? Let me know would answer anything u might be dealing with.

[JennWeb 28]

I can understand how you're feeling. I haven't been scheduled yet but I am scared. Scared of what can go wrong when chances are nothing will. Scared that all the things I enjoy, the little pleasures will never be something I will get to experience. But the thoughts that scare me the most are never seeing in my oldest son graduate high school, helping my daughter get ready for prom, or teaching my youngest son how to drive. I would give up all the little life pleasures to be front and center for every event and experience in my kids life. I want to be healthy and alive for them. That thought makes this whole process worth it. Only you can make the right choice for you. I wish you the best of luck.

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

The permanence of the surgery, the not drinking an hour during dinner, major chewing of my food from now on (instead of just eating normal), never being able to guzzle Water, (or anything for that matter), never drinking a beer again. These things and more are whizzing violently through my head. I'm on the fence, off the fence all day long....I know this is not well written and jumbled as this is how my head is today.

I'm a wreck..... Anybody got anything?

I'm 6 months out from surgery but I am going give you some honest answers about where I am right now. I drink sooner than an hour after food. One reason is usually for me my food has emptied my stomach, for the most part what I eat doesn't sit in my stomach very long unless I have beef. I also eat my portions and not more, and I am not hungry. Yes you should wait an hour, but that won't always be the case, it definitely doesn't matter if you only had liquid for dinner. I don't go nuts chewing my food. I mostly eat things that are pretty soft anyway so it isn't necessary. The only time I have to make sure I really chew is if I have beef. I can almost guzzle Water now. I can't chug 16 ounces at a time like I used to in one breathe, but after you have healed more at 3-4 months you can take bigger gulps closer together. I have no issue with drinking maybe 4 ounces in 30-60 seconds. It depends on the temp though. There is other alcohol in life besides beer.

TLDR, the things that I thought were going to annoy me the most, chewing and drinking, at 6 months at a huge issue. I imagine at a year it won't even matter.

[shriner37 249]

@@frankenstein There are very few "never" things following weight loss surgery, mostly just "not for now" things. The recovery period does require some special diet and habit changes, and the weight loss phase (first year to 18 months) you will want to follow the new behaviors as closely as possible to maximize your success. As we progress post surgery we learn how to adapt ourselves to be successful.

Pre surgery I drank beer regularly, and lots of it. I made poor food choices. I didn't exercise. It took 53 years for that bad behavior to catch up with me. Surgery has been the catalyst that forced me to change those behaviors. I couldn't be happier that I did.

Many of the things you listed aren't really issues. I'm a little over 4 months post surgery. I used to guzzle Water before. I no longer need to now. I find that I'm satisfied with less. You can have beer (I had two last night at a special event) but want to imbibe only occasionally as the carbonation can be challenging and we frankly don't need the calories.

As others have said, some of your concerns are about having to change lifelong patterns or lifestyle components to lose weight. Keep in mind that for most of us it was those very patterns and lifestyle items that helped us to become obese in the first place. We need to change those behaviors and actions to lose weight and improve health. Surgery provides a very powerful tool to help with that but you must have the desire, in your mind, to change those behaviors in order to be successful.

[Nurse_Lenora 903]

I completely understand your fears but you are focusing on all the negatives. Try to focus on what the positives will be after surgery.

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,444]

@@frankenstein, you opened the door for my opening line and I have to get it out of the way: I've always thought of Frankenstein as more lurcher than lurker. Whew.

How big a deal is it really to wait between liquids and food? To chew thoroughly? You'll discover how good food can taste. How bad it can taste, too, but, hey, you can't have everything. At best, you'll become healthier and quicker, more energetic, find yourself smiling more, and able to enjoy time with your girls more fully.

Of course I don't know you, but I'm willing to bet that this weekend's panic is about commitment to yourself and whether you really can do it. Scribble a quick list of reasons to lose weight; do it today. The list will pretty much be the reasons that made you look into surgery up front. Remind yourself. Lots of people have last-minute panic. That's okay.

Imagine how great your butt will look when you mount your bike a year from now.

[jboys83 17]

If you didnt have these thoughts then I'd say you weren't normal lol!!! I cried the day I had to start my liquid diet and ended up starting it two days later so I could binge! I will tell u this I was also told no guzzling fluids but when I went to my follow up the Dr actually asked if I had. I said accidentally I did it and was scared after I did it. He asked me me how it felt and I said fine. He said if u can tolerate it go for it but try not to make it a everytime habit! Also you will be able to jave thing you love down the road! I have a few friends who have had this surgery a few years ago and they do enjoy having a beer they do enjoy having a favorite food from time to time! Its just a matter of control! You can do this! I did this for a few different reasons : i wanted to be around for my kids and future grandkids! I wanted to be able to go out and play with my kids without running out of breath. My knee I had surgery on about 4 yrs ago was killing me. I didn't want a full knee replacement at 32!! Btw I have lost 25lbs already and my knee feels great! Also I didnt want health issues and I knew if I stayed on this path I was on I would! So again if u arent feeling scared and you arent questioning yourself u are not normal!!! I hope it all works out for you!

[frankenstein 76]

Well, let me start by saying that I'm sitting in my driveway, and Faith No Mores "A Small Victory" just came on my stereo as I started writing this. The title is fitting for me right now.

I'd just like to take a second to thank each and everyone of you for replying to my first ever "meltdown" post. This forum has been a wealth of knowledge for me and truly an inspiration. With all of your help, as well as other, I snapped out of my funk, and decided to move along as I originally intended to and get this mofo done! It's been almost 8 months since I started this journey and I need to follow through.

I just got back from Walmart this time, picking up all my pre-op supplies (I didn't go back to Target this time, as I had a freak out the last time I was there, so I went a different route, plus the people there are some times great to take your mind off of things) LOL.

I'm as ready as I think I ever will be and I'm going for it! My surgery is at 8:00 am tomorrow. First thing I'm asking for is a Valium or something of the sort though! I'll pop back on tomorrow after surgery when I feel up to it and let everyone know how it went...

Thanks again!

Frank

[Shiloh2004 20]

Frank, I am sure all will go smoothly. You faced your doubts, which you dealt with! I am proud of you! Thoughts and prayers tomorrow! Will look forward to your post!!! You are awesome for working through this!