I just saw "All of Me"

[gottaloseit708 4]

I didn't like it. I felt like it was portraying the women as "swingers" hanging out with men who had a fetish for fat women. I don't think that is a typical experience and was put in there to attract a larger audience.

I too thought it focused too much on the BBW angle as well. Most of us women with morbid obesity aren't anywhere near that lifestyle.

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

I had a hard time with the movie too. It seemed like their bariatric programs were lacking (especially the banded woman) and to watch the other woman be denied when she's almost 500lbs is CRAZY! The experience of these women was nothing like mine so I guess I couldn't relate too well. I'm still glad I watched though, everything I can learn from I think helps me in my journey.

I saw this movie a while ago but if I remember correctly these surgeries were performed quite a long time ago. It seems that education, support, and surgical techniques have improved a great deal in even the last five years from my observation. It has been interesting to see changes in policy and practice of insurance companies and surgeon's on just the time I have been participating on BariatricPal, especially compared to information I had about surgery even 5 years ago.

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

I didn't like it. I felt like it was portraying the women as "swingers" hanging out with men who had a fetish for fat women. I don't think that is a typical experience and was put in there to attract a larger audience.

I too thought it focused too much on the BBW angle as well. Most of us women with morbid obesity aren't anywhere near that lifestyle.

It was. I was also turned off by its focus on this specific fetish community.

But, it did shed light on Zsalynn's struggles. This aspect of her experience was completely ignored by My 600 Pound Life. We only got to see what a jerk her husband was, not why.

[sharkgirl 251]

I didn't like it. I felt like it was portraying the women as "swingers" hanging out with men who had a fetish for fat women. I don't think that is a typical experience and was put in there to attract a larger audience.

I too thought it focused too much on the BBW angle as well. Most of us women with morbid obesity aren't anywhere near that lifestyle.

I thought the same thing and had never even heard of the BBW lifestyle until this show. I was very sad after watching it and very grateful my insurance would pay for my surgery. I was also grateful to have a wonderful husband...

[Pinkgirl1234 761]

Yeah the BBW lifestyle swing is unknown to me...

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

I rented this on iTunes before surgery. This week was my first time watching it after surgery.

I didn't think it was sad and I wasn't offended. Most reality shows with a group of people, the people have a common factor. Their factor was they met at the fat acceptance group. Which by the way I think is a cool group, there is nothing wrong with being fat. I feel like no one paid attention to why they hung out together. They did it because they didn't have the options other people have to socialize. They were meeting in homes. Plenty of girlfriends meet once a week or once a month for dinner, lunch or drinks. That is normal female behavior. If they went out at their size, people would mock and make fun of them and they wouldn't be able to enjoy themselves. As a minority I see them doing what lots of other minorities do, stick to their own and make their own fun.

I thought more people would have been interested in the rift created in their social circle by having surgery. Their group used to be much larger, but as people had surgery and lost weight they disappeared. Fake friends. The women that did stick around buy had surgery had issues navigating with the women who hadn't. I thought that was really the most important thing about the whole thing, the change in relationships. Friendships and marriages. There are plenty of people that post here about issues their spouse has with them losing weight.

Finally these women were super super morbidly obese. You can't compare their lives and their options to the options of people with lower BMIs. When I was at my heaviest I could still fly on a plane, fit into a booth and live a normal life. The only difference right now is everything is just more comfortable. I can't judge these women with fewer options by my options.

I think the chubby chaser angle was important because it is assumed especially in certain cultural groups that no one will want you if you are fat. There is a market for everything though.

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

The group dynamics are an interesting angle.

When a group of people bond over a particular thing, experience, or identifier, the group will change when that factor no longer applies unless they can find other things to connect them.

Also, people's needs do change over time and groups either change, adapt, reform or become obsolete.

It happens to all sorts of formal and informal groups and isn't necessarily bad or wrong. But, it is an interesting angle.

[yerawizardamy 241]

@@OutsideMatchInside

Love your comment!! It makes me very sad that more people on these forums seem to hate the fat acceptance movement. Fat people are discriminated against and face micro-aggressions on a daily basis, there should be some sort of movement that says "Hey! I don't deserve to be treated like **** because I take up more space than you! Thanks!"

For example, I am a very fat woman that had VSG and I still believe in body positivity, fat acceptance and health at every size. I did not (and still don't) hate myself because I am fat, and I have great confidence. I did the surgery because I knew that for ME, I was headed down a path of growing health concerns, and I knew I couldn't lose the weight on my own.

Not all fat people are unhealthy. Not all fat people are sad. Not all fat people have "a thin person trapped inside" of them. Maybe some of the women on the show truly were happy with themselves, maybe some weren't, but seeing all of these comments saying "they must be really sad inside" is frustrating.

Also, men having a preference for fat women is not a fetish. It can lead to fat related fetishes, but preferring fat bodies is not a fetish.

Edited January 30, 2016 by yerawizardamy

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

If men like fat women is a fetish, so is liking blonde, red heads, and a slew of other things, anything can be objectified and turned into a fetish. A preference doesn't automatically equal a fetish.

@yerawizardamy

There is a lot of self hate floating around on these forums to the point of toxicity sometimes. I remember reading a post here when I first joined about "What was your Slob moment" or something like that. People actually identified with being slobs and named their slob actions pre-surgery. WTF? People have fat shamed their relatives and a lot of other things on here. I try to skip over it, but sometimes you can't ignore it.

[her1981 448]

@@yerawizardamy I totally agree with you. I was 435 pounds and got sleeved because it was affecting my health. Even now, I just look forward to being like a size 16 or 18. I love being full figured, and my husband loves it too. It's a happy medium.

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

There is a difference between preferring full figures and fat acceptance and some of the fetish behavior portrayed in the show.

When someone allows themselves to be exploited by others or is forcibly exploited then it is a problem for me.

[Pinkgirl1234 761]

It was not a happy documentary.

Not a positive spin to WLS.

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

There is a difference between preferring full figures and fat acceptance and some of the fetish behavior portrayed in the show.

When someone allows themselves to be exploited by others or is forcibly exploited then it is a problem for me.

The older lady that displays the nude work in the 60s and 70s started in college. Lots of girls do that kind of stuff to make ends meet, the only difference is she was fat. There was no difference between that and working at Hooters, Tilted Kilt, or ShowMes.

The young woman with the abusive husband that wants her to stay fat. What are her other employment options? It sucks that she ends up a sex worker but at her size, her employment options without being highly educated or skilled to work some sort of IT job from home are slim to none.

The comments in this thread are really hitting a nerve with me because fat people think all of their problems are because they are fat and everything revolves around that when other groups of people have the exact same issues. That is why so many people lose weight and are still miserable.

[Katrinakit 139]

I think the fat acceptance movement is important and should be encouraged. HOWEVER, I was expecting this movie to be specifically about weight loss surgery and felt like it didnt really focus on anything except the psychosocial aspects of that. I was hoping for practical info of what it is like to have the surgery and recover and stay motivated etc. So I was disappointed. If the movie had been marketed as a view into the lives of people involved in the fat acceptance movement I would have gone in with very different expectations and would have probably enjoyed the movie more.

[Katrinakit 139]

I mean, are there any movies showing how much work goes into preparing, having, and recovering after weight loss surgery. Because that is something I feel like people could benefit from seeing.