Wouldn't it be nice

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

To have a place to discuss adult topics like dating, sex, intimacy etc can be discussed without every prude self righteous person who has no actual idea of the context butts in?

The trouble with private groups is they die away because there is no real way for new people who would appreciate and benefit from the conversations to join. I am still pissed because finding a partner is something very important to me and I am realizing that I am just not attracted to the usual "pool" and exploring my own self created limitations.

A girlfriend actually said it, men in our area just aren't our types. I never really thought of it that way but she is right. We go out dancing and I once asked her "if you were into one night stands, would you pick ANYONE here in the general ballpark of our age?" Nope. ( I have sons in their mid 20s and have zero interest in the cougar thing personally )

I am in a bad mood anyway right now, but I am just pretty sick of the easily offended and post patrolers.

[FrankyG 1,450]

I get it, some folks just miss the point or are too quick to take offense when none is intended. Totally shouldn't let it get to you tho. Their opinion isn't important in the least if you don't want it to be.

Hope you have a lovely day tomorrow!

[gowalking 10,790]

To have a place to discuss adult topics like dating, sex, intimacy etc can be discussed without every prude self righteous person who has no actual idea of the context butts in?

The trouble with private groups is they die away because there is no real way for new people who would appreciate and benefit from the conversations to join. I am still pissed because finding a partner is something very important to me and I am realizing that I am just not attracted to the usual "pool" and exploring my own self created limitations.

A girlfriend actually said it, men in our area just aren't our types. I never really thought of it that way but she is right. We go out dancing and I once asked her "if you were into one night stands, would you pick ANYONE here in the general ballpark of our age?" Nope. ( I have sons in their mid 20s and have zero interest in the cougar thing personally )

I am in a bad mood anyway right now, but I am just pretty sick of the easily offended and post patrolers.

I thought what you wrote yesterday was not inappropriate in any way. I didn't see all the responses but I know the post was deleted unfortunately. As I noted, I am in an interracial relationship and I never expected I'd date outside my race. Yet I found out that we have lots more in common even though we are of different backgrounds. And I know that I'm not the only one. Fortunately I live in NYC where anything goes..and no one has even given us a second look..or thought. Even my family is fine with this...because I'm happy with him. That's all that counts. Ignore the ignorant @@CowgirlJane and keep posting!

[LipstickLady 25,682]

You have a place. You have HERE. Ignore/block the people who don't like what you have to say. F'em. Don't feed the trolls, don't respond to them, they look like the big assh*le, you don't.

If you are in a room like this, adults only, and they come in and have a problem with it, it's not YOUR problem.

[jess9395 5,449]

Dang I miss all the good stuff

Anyhow yeah what everyone said--don't listen to the naysayers. Hang in there!

[Heather I 500]

Ugh! This site keeps crashing, deleting my response.

Long and short of it; I, for one, wasn't offended by anything you said. Seems like your tastes have evolved/changed (or are just being realized later in the game) that you are attracted to outside your normal available dating pool. I don't get the big deal that people criticized you for realizing you want something other than what's in your area that seems a little homogenous.

Viva la difference!

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

What Lipstick said.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I know I didn't say anything wrong but to be told I don't have a right to post here because it wasn't supportive to weight loss (duh, in one of the singles type forums) is just a bit much.

Don't you ever get tired of it? I don't mean tired of answering the same questions repeatedly. .. I mean tired of the general level of "get offended as the first option"? It happen on the gofundme thread - person asked question, many replied it wasn't likely to work, suggested other options. OP found other options and the thread helped her look into those - yeah! She has a realistic way to afford surgery!

Then the thread degenerates into totally different people being all upset that we dared to tell her the freaking honest truth. Most of the time I just stop reading the ridiculous, but don't you ever get tired of people taking offense where none was intended and the dang thing wasn't even about them anyway? That is just one example, but it happens over and over. Like, what is wrong with people that they look for insult that just isn't there?

So, I am recovering from breast revision, mole removal and cheek. Injection but decided to do a teeny bit more whilst I was under that turned into alot more than planned (for very valid reason but related to thighs). It's been a tough week. I am fine, doc thinks I will have good results but sometimes things don't go as planned and I am here 2x as long as planned, on bedrest and my passport got lost during the bad day... guess how long it takes to get an appointment for a replacement? Do you suppose being on bed rest is a reason you are exempt from printing out forms from the internet (damn forgot to pack a printer), getting passport photos taken etc? Awesome, my new passport photo will have visible stitches where I had moles removed and small bruises from the fat injection. Good news my new full cheeks look youthful!

I have a photo copy of my passport and other ID to corroborate but they can't just print up the one from before....

So, BP has been a good distraction and a place to write out my thoughts and I appreciate my friends here ALOT. I appreciate the excited newbies thrilled with their future possibilities. I appreciate the different points of view and ideas. I like the fun banter about life, the support, the real life tribulations . Not thrilled with the anger and I frankly don't even understand it.

So that is a bit more context of why I wish there was a place to talk about real life stuff without all that negative people who don't even know me from the last 5 years I have been posting here..

And in the meantime Breakfast is 20 minutes late and I am hungry! Surgery recovery makes me starve even though I am laying in bed all day. I am pals with the chef and he takes good care of me.

Back to my original point, I sure like the people here in Monterrey! !

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

I think it's as simple as getting their buttons pushed. I recently got my buttons pushed when someone posted something that sounded like she thought *everyone* in the Deep South was obese. Yeah, she was wrong, but it pushed a button I have about misperceptions about Southerners. Later I had to laugh at myself for being so knee-jerky. But people just have sore spots and are too sensitive in those areas. It takes maturity and self awareness to (as hubby says) "listen louder."

[mykdzmom 387]

Some folks thoroughly enjoy discontent. They find it in everything and it can be exhausting. I just wanted to say I have enjoyed what you have contributed. Alhough I also missed your post, I am disappointed that you didn't receive the same open minded but honest consideration that you give.

Do what you do and enjoy it.

[jj7481 363]

Some of the best forums I've been apart of have been adaptive and ever evolving. The original premise that created the forum still takes center stage, but smaller sub forums allow for expression of the whole person.

[Babbs 14,681]

@@CowgirlJane

Hang in there, my love. You're such an important part of this forum, and sometimes we just need a break. Your posts are always spot on and enlightening no matter what the topic. I for one have always enjoyed them, even if there were times I didn't agree with you (although I can't think of any at the moment).

Here's a concept:

I don't necessarily think other people are wrong just because they have a different opinion.

Imagine that!

Now if more people felt that way instead of being in a constant state of-what's the word? Oh yeah. Butt hurt.

[chrisredjeep 357]

Please keep posting Cowgirl Jane. I love reading your posts and you have made me laugh out loud more than once. The advice you give is always worth reading.

Hope u get back home soon and maybe find the One

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Good news...passport found! I am an idiot. Well, might have been my pain induced, near state of collapse brain condition. What a relief.

I will always keep posting but ya know, my real contribution here isn't encouraging people to sip their Water...its talking about things that contribute to the long view. I had no idea that one of my key regain reasons all those decades was anxiety. Somehow obesity numbed me and when it was gone..holy carp! I have had to face alot of things about myself I don't particularly like. Things that years of counseling didn't even scratch. In talking through it, some of you have related, shared your "carp" and speaking for myself, I am getting better! Not sure I could do it without you.

However, I am now looking at how to live this next phase of life and this place at times isn't a very safe place to do that. I am not talking about this single incident...the stuff happens all the time. I plan to maintain my weight loss for the rest of my days and am committed to continual self understanding and living the best life I can.

You are all right, negative people will always find an insult, this is why I thought....wouldn't it be nice if people who are ready for the hard stuff could have discussions?

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Some people look for a reason to be offended. Some people find nastiness where none exists. Some people love to call names, scream "BULLY!", get nasty all in the name of pointing fingers and calling out others as the villain.

At times I get annoyed, but mostly it amuses me. Yes, I get annoyed at some of the "easy", "obvious" questions, especially when the poster is fishing for permission to do the wrong thing. Usually I just back out of the room, but sometimes I give them a real answer fully knowing that I am about to start some sh!t -- BUT I JUST DON'T CARE.

I know that I am not doing it to start drama, to be mean, to hurt someone's itsy witsy feewings, I am just being blunt. Sometimes it's called for, sometimes I'm just a "b!tch" because someone needs to be. Eh...take it or leave me. I choose to leave many people behind -- after a poke or two.