Did you keep your surgery a secret?

[readyforachange84 10]

I have only told my immediate family, my best friend and a couple of my managers. I am not sure what or if I want to say anything. I am on the preop diet and I am already down 22 lbs in 3 months. People are starting to notice the difference but I am telling them the truth that I am making better choices. I work in a store with 250 people and I am in HR so I deal with all of them. I guess I feel like people will judge me for taking the surgery route. I have actually cried telling the few people I told because of embarrassment. I will have surgery in April and I know I wont be able to hide it much longer. Any advice?

[lupelane 12]

I have told just close family & friends primarily. I ventured out to tell a newer friend and she tried to talk me out of it. Saying that I should really focus on eating and exercising. She is and always has been thin. ???? So just her response alone makes me just want to focus on the support system that will matter. My husband, kids, our parents and my best friends. I don't want to stress out on people's expectations of me or their judgments.

[Newme900 4]

I had my surgery in July 2015 and the only people who know (besides my medical team) are my husband, older daughter (she's 25), and one very intelligent "I can trust with my life" co-worker. I have a large family and everyone has an opinion about everything and after being overweight for over 25 years, I just didn't want to be deterred from my decision. My PCP told me about the sleeve (never heard about it before he mentioned it) in December 2014 - I went home, did my research, decided after talking it over with my husband, and never looked back! Truly the best thing I've done for me.

In the process of my pre-op clearances, a tumor was found on my thyroid which I needed surgery for. I told my manager that in the process of getting clearance for gall bladder surgery, the thyroid tumor was found. I felt horrible for lying but as it turned out, during the sonogram process of my clearance, gall stones were found!! My surgeon removed my gall bladder and performed the sleeve surgery at the same time! (so I didn't feel so bad after all). When people ask how I've lost the weight, I just tell them that I've been eating healthier and exercising more - which is the truth (just not the whole truth). If conversation goes beyond that, I also let them know that I recently developed diabetes and my doctor advised that if I lose weight, he would not put me on medication (the truth) and losing weight would also most likely help with my high blood pressure. Well, I haven't taken one blood pressure pill since day before surgery (I've been on them for 15 years) and I am no longer diabetic!

I am amongst extremely judgmental folks in my personal and professional life and I really don't want to hear "OH YOU TOOK THE EASY WAY OUT!" Your body, your health, your life, your business!

Good Luck!!

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

Well you have already told enough people that it isn't a secret anymore or it won't stay a secret. Someone is going to start blabbing sooner or later.

Don't think about it as a weight loss thing, think of it as a health thing, that makes it a lot easier to tell people to go $#@# themselves for their negative comments. Honestly it is no ones business what you do with you body and I don't understand why people feel entitled to the information.

[WorkinOnMe 596]

My surgery was May 2105. Initially I told my immediate family, very close friends, and a couple people at work (like my boss who needed to give me time off & had Bypass 7 years ago). People started to notice the difference pre-op, but like you I was honest & told them I was making some lifestyle changes and better choices. I felt that it was none of their business and I didn't want to listen to their judgmental opinions. My family is very supportive & I knew they would have my back no matter what, so I figured I was good.

After WLS was a completely different matter! What I found was that about 1 month post-op I had people asking me how I was doing it because they were genuinely interested in bettering themselves. I had become a inspiration to others ... a kind of "poster child" at my work and so many people began to support me in my goals. I started to talk more about my journey and now I have 2 others looking into it. I also have a group of 7-9 runners who found out I was walking 5K races and they now sign up with me & encourage me to finish each race.

Even though I didn't intend to make my journey a public one, that's how it has turned out. Honestly, I don't think I would change a thing!

[Xena7158 26]

I told my mom (my companion for the surgery itself), my brother (emergency contact), and one supervisor at work because I wanted to claim/use sick leave instead of vacation leave for the time away and he had to sign off. My mom is not telling anyone in our family because they are typically quite judgmental, and really, why do they need to know. I told my supervisor that I was not telling anyone at all, and as far as everyone else was concerned, I'm on vacation!

[TheFormerFatGirl 17]

I told my mother and a few very close friends. A lot of my co-workers knew I was having "surgery" but didn't know what kind of surgery I was having. It had nothing to do with embarrassment. I spent a very long time coming to terms with the fact that I needed the help that bariatric surgery would provide to me, and I cannot expect others, especially those who have never struggled with their weight or any sort of medical ramifications or causations of obesity, to understand that for me this surgery was a necessity. A lot of people term bariatric surgery as "taking the easy way out," but let me tell you, there has been nothing easy about spending thousands of dollars, having my abdomen stabbed five times, having half of a major organ removed, being at a Vitamin deficiency for the rest of my life, and still having to watch every single thing I put into my mouth until the end of time.

I have so much to worry about, that the way I look at it, this is and and can only be MY business. No one else needs to be concerned with what I do.

[Dar61 20]

I have also chosen to keep my surgery to myself. I do have one friend who has went through the whole process herself and had her surgery 1 month after mine. Then I had to tell another friend who helps with my son who has DS, because she would be keeping him while I was in the hospital. Then one other person my sons service coordinator. She is the one who took me to the hospital and came and took me back home after. To my knowledge none have told. None of these are someone to share with, only to say thank you when they comment on my weight loss. The exception being the one who had the surgery also. But unfortunately our experiences have been so different it has made it difficult to share my joy! When people ask, I just tell them changing my eating habits and more exercise, The truth without knowing everything. Like a lot of you I just didn't want to deal with the gossip, opinions, embarrassment and awww you did it the easy way from people who have No ideal what before surgery was like. Heart attacks, diabetes, ablations for arrhythmias, ICD placements, fear of not being here for my son. And certainly not after surgery , I've been so blessed but the easy way, I don't think so.

[staceylynne13 7]

i didn't plan on it being so public, but my dear fiance posted on fb and i actually had friends come out of the woodwork supportive for me! past co-workers offering help, current friends checking in. i am VERY lucky to have such support. my mother on the other hand has been hesitant since day one. she's still not convinced it's the right thing to do, but she's as supportive as she can be. i am quite sure i will one day run into "took the easy way out" people. if they think this is easy, well....i have a few choice words for them i'm not afraid to use!

[JenniferP1 75]

Only my BF knows I had the sleeve in 11/2015 (we live together). I'm a very private person and if people notice, I just say I've been dieting (which is true).

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Heck, no, I didn't talk about it with friends, family or work colleagues.

Hubby, of course, has been 100% supportive. But that's all I needed.

[Kindle 8,667]

I didn't post it on Facebook or announce it on Twitter or anything, but anytime someone asks about my weightloss I tell them I had surgery and I eat a healthy, high Protein diet. Anything other than full truth would have made me uncomfortable. I'm not a good fibber. The biggest pain was having to answer the same questions over and over from hundreds (yes hundreds) of friends, family, acquaintances and clients. But I got nothing but congratulations and support.

Everyone knowing provides me with a sense of accomplishment and accountability. I am the shining example of successful WLS in Mexico. There's no way I will become that "I knew someone who had WLS and gained all her weight back" story.

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

My advice is to do what is right for you.

I haven't kept it a secret but I haven't broadcast it to the world, either. I am frank and open with friends and family but I don't mention it publicly such as on social media.

[Kindle 8,667]

Hey @@VSGAnn2014 I just saw your ticker. Congrats! You passed me and I now consider that a challenge . Glad to see you made it through the holidays unscathed (from a weightloss perspective). I know it couldn't have been an easy time for you.

(Sorry for the interruption, folks)

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Come on down!