First plane trip since WLS: a NSV and an ouch!

[butterfly23 423]

Like many on this site, traveling on an airplane when I was super big was very challenging.

I am now down 150 pounds, and had my first plane trip. I could not believe how amazingly I fit in the seat, no seatbelt extender, and room to spare all around. Yay!

On the ouch side, I am visiting my in-laws for the first time since I've lost this weight and nobody said anything. 150 pounds down, and no one said a thing. I know I have much more to lose but OUCH. They even know I had the surgery (in all fairness, they didn't ask a single thing about me or my husband because they're self-involved but really???)

Thanks for letting me rave and rant about this! I've decided by posting this to let go of the ouch and focus on the NSV. Thank you to everyone on this site.

[Miss Mac 6,262]

Congratulations on your outstanding weight loss. Just don't let those green meanies steal your joy.

[BestDayEver 418]

Thank you for sharing your story. I'm fascinated by people's reactions to weight loss. I've tried to analyze why people have such an array of reactions ranging from "fantastic" to absolutely no reaction. Very interesting. I've faced the same thing and I'm still mystified. I think lots of people just don't like change, they pigeonhole you and don't want you to be any different even though they may not like you overweight.

[esskay77 785]

Congratulations!

re your in-laws -- it's better to not have them say anything than to have the say something rude.

After reading this forum in the past, I realize that some people actually don't want anyone to comment or say anything while others do as long as it is complimentary. Basically, it's so hard to know how people feel so I tend to not comment anymore either. They may just not know what to say. Or they could be mean people. I don't know. Doesn't matter--you are doing fantastic!

[butterfly23 423]

Thank you for the support and reminder to not let them detract from my success and that I don't know what was behind the lack of comments.

I definitely don't want to hear criticism, so I should be thankful as saying nothing is better than saying something hurtful. I am so thankful for my family here, because you all really get it even though they do not!

[Djmohr 6,965]

@@butterfly23

Yes I would be thankful nothing rude was said vs. nothing at all. My nlaws always say the wrong thing.

I have a sister n law who was heavy as a child then as a young adult began with drugs and alcohol. She lost all of her weight and even more than she should. I have know her for 30 years now and never knew her as heavy.

Yes, she is still heavily addicted to drugs and alcohol and barely eats anything. She has now become a type 1 diabetic because she basically damaged her pancreas. She is 5'7" and if she weighs 100lbs I would be shocked.

Anyway, about 6 months after my surgery which she knew I had, she saw me and informed me that I was loosing way too much weight and I looked sickly thin. I still weighed over 200lbs at the time. I knew she was scared I might become thinner than her and that was her real motive.

I have not seen her since August, I have lost quite a bit of weight since then and am 7lbs from goal.

I don't look forward to the next time I see her because I am certain rudeness will come shooting out of her mouth.

My mother n law would usually make comments about both my weight and my husbands and she was obese herself. It's just strange how people think it is ok to say whatever they want.

Be glad......and congratulations on your progress!

[Katherinedj 12]

Congrats on your weight loss!! That is wonderful!!!

[M!@ 320]

Congratulations on your weight loss thus far. I agree in part with what others have said regarding no reaction from your folks, and again others have said they just may not have known what to say.

As we go through our journey, lets all me mindful that we can ourselves drum up what we think it means and still be way off. We also must consider life before the surgery and how it played a role in their reactions. Not saying this is what happened but an example might be...At some point someone mentioned or rudely made notice you were gaining weight. Your response indicated you were not happy about them bringing up your gain. They translate it to me you don't want your weight discussed. Fast forward 150 lbs down. Didn't discuss weight or bring it up for fear of or avoidance of a negative reaction.

All I am saying it there are so many moving pieces we just never know what it could be about. So don't let others still your joy. And definitely don't read into people's reactions too much, because it would just be spinning wheels.

Congrats to all on their journeys to be losers. And cheers to all those who notice and say something nice, notice and say something rude, notice and say nothing at all, don't notice at all, to the green eyed ones, and especially to the ones who do a double take when they realized you've got legs, breast, ass, etc. and are not who your fat tried to define you to be.

Thank you for the support and reminder to not let them detract from my success and that I don't know what was behind the lack of comments.

I definitely don't want to hear criticism, so I should be thankful as saying nothing is better than saying something hurtful. I am so thankful for my family here, because you all really get it even though they do not!

I see you.

[lulunoire 12]

I'm so happy to hear your first flight after surgery was such a success! I'm hoping with the weight loss I can go on more plane trips and slowly but surely start my dream of traveling the world. Dont let the in laws bring ya down, youve done a great job!!! Like others had mentioned, better to say nothing rather than say something rude. Keep on rocking it!

[Dub 9,922]

Well done on the progress.

Sorry about the ouch.

People are weird sometimes. The public, at large, is so under educated on all things weight related......nutrition, our surgeries, etc.

[PayItForward 207]

Congratulations on the weight loss. I only tell people that they look great it's because I hated the silence every time I have gained weight back.

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

Congratulations! Being able to fly comfortably is HUGE. It is so freeing to be able to travel easily.

As to your in-laws. I would much rather someone say nothing than to be rude. I don't know them but maybe they are reserved or as you mentioned too self-involved. But, maybe they truly don't notice because they see the "real" you.

[butterfly23 423]

Thank you everyone for your support!! I am home now, and with your awesome response have been able to turn this into a healing experience. I am so grateful for you all and having this site to vent, laugh, cry and process so we can let go of our excess weight (and so much more!)

[butterfly23 423]

@@Djmohr thank you for sharing your story - really resonated with me!!

@, thank you so much for saying "I see you". This is exactly what was triggered for me....I did not expect a weight comment, but I did expect a "you look good" or something, and when I didn't I felt invisible. You nailed it, thank you for helping me identify what I needed to work on in this experience!