Alien, the Movie ... revisited! (long, but mildly entertaining)

[WorkinOnMe 596]

My sleeve & I have a pretty tight relationship. In 8 months I have learned how to eat and drink and my BFF has been happy. I can eat or drink pretty much what I want, within reason, and have been steady in the losing. Even though I can eat just about anything, I usually eat Soup for lunch, as I am a teacher... 23 minutes to slowly eat and coerce whatever it is into my sleeve AND still make it back to my classroom just doesn't happen. Being mostly liquid, Soups seems to be the most logical choice.

Today I had cheddar broccoli Soup. YUMMO! One of my favorites!!! I guess my sleeve had other ideas and picked today to be difficult. Although I have eaten it several times over the past few months, the soup just did not want to go down. UGH!!! Nothing worse than that "stuck" feeling, unless it is HOT and STUCK. Double UGH!!! I spent the first 10 minutes of my lunch trying to coach my food to move along. Thankfully my colleagues are used to me talking to myself and don't think I am delusional, because there I was walking in circles and begging and pleading. Finally, after what seemed like a miserable and interminable week made up of days before a vacation with excited and antsy students, my soup was granted access and went down. {SIGH!} Relief!!!!! PHEW ... not so interested in eating anymore though. Another 13 minutes left of lunch ... good a time as any to go for a walk, right? WRONG! That darned sleeve seems to have developed a mind of its own today, and is suddenly deciding to push the limits and experience new things. Granted, I went through this with two teenage children, but I never expected my new BFF to turn on me so suddenly! So, there I am, walking in the mostly empty hallway for about 2 1/2 minutes when suddenly I am ravaged by a sharp pain in my lower abdomen and some gawd awful sound from my stomach. I don't think anyone else heard, but then again I did garner a really weird look from a 6th grader, so who knows. Not me. I was too worried about what was taking place in my body to pay attention to anyone else. Luckily I was about 50 feet from the teacher's bathroom and felt that was the best place to be. I loosened my belt, a much needed fashion accessory of late unless I want to start a new trend and go pant-less. It didn't help much, but now it gave me a better view of the turmoil taking place in my belly. At first I was reminded of pregnancy when I thought it was so cute to see my stomach roll and shift. But then I remembered there's nothing cute about a stomach doing this when there is NO BABY INSIDE! Instead of gentle rolls my stomach was now lurching and jumping and making more noise than a 50-piece band ensemble. It was kind of like a horrific accident that you just know is going to end badly, but you cannot take your eyes away. I was horrified and at the same time fascinated by the movements, and tiny part of me was worried that I was an unknowing participant in the newest Alien movie ... waiting for the moment that ugly little creature popped its head out of my abdomen. Suddenly I belched, or what now passes as a belch, and passed gas as the same time. Oh Dear Lord!! What absolute incredible relief!!!!! I felt like sinking to the floor and crying. But alas, one more angry sound tore through the bathroom ... the bell rang signaling the end of my 23 minute lunch period. Time for class ...

Moral of the story ... I *USED* to love cheddar broccoli soup. Things change as your body adjusts to your new BFF and foods you once didn't like you may now be able to eat. Things you couldn't tolerate, you may once day be able to. And, sadly, something you have eaten for the past few months may turn your body into a horror film extra and you can no longer eat it. I will try my soup again someday, but now that I know what could possible happen I just might wait until I am home alone to dig up the courage!

Edited January 12, 2016 by WorkinOnMe

[Pillar2butterfly 391]

OMG...I almost snorted my own Soup out of my nose reading that! The struggle is real!!!

[The Candidate 3,215]

Too funny! But very accommodating of your new stomach to quit playing games just before the bell. ????