Ashamed

[jreneewarnke 10]

I was sleeved September 8th, my overall starting weight was 300 pounds and I'm currently down to 219. I know I am super proud of this loss. BUT, last week one of my customers ( has no clue of my surgery) asked how much weight I've lost. I told her I had no clue and that I only go by my clothes. I am embarrassed to say how much weight I've lost. I just don't won't anyone to look at what I've done so far and say that I still have such a long way to go. Or know exactly just how heavy I had gotten. Has anyone else felt this way?

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

I understand completely. I decided not to share numbers with anyone. Not even my mother. If some one asks how much I have lost I just say "a lot". If they press for a number I just tell them I don't share numbers with anyone, not even my mother. That usually is the end of it.

You don't owe anyone details and frankly I find it rude when people ask about my weight other than to compliment me on how great I look!

[AvaFern 3,516]

I hated when people pressed for a number! I felt so monstrous, especially once I hit 100 pounds lost. I was ashamed and I always felt humiliated, especially when they did it around others. Honestly, some of them would just keep pushing and to end the conversation I'd give them a number. I like surfer girl's approach though...if you don't want to give them a number, don't, it's none of their business.

If it makes you feel better, once you're at goal for awhile no one even mentions it anymore so the misery is a short-lived thing.

[ididit34 91]

I thought I was the only one who felt this way!

[Dub 9,922]

Completely feel that way, too.

Outside of this forum I do not like to discus the numbers with anyone.

Some folks I bump into just can't stand not to dig and dig on the numbers. I think they are simply enthusiastically supporting me in their own way....I just don't think I'll ever be comfortable with it.

I took a pic the day before the surgery and used it as my "before" pic. I simply can not believe how far I'd allowed myself to fall off. That pic was taken after losing 55 lbs pre-op, too.

It is a great reminder of where I was and how poorly I physically felt.

Friends that are non-obese are the ones I'm most guarded around with the details of my weight loss. When they "diet" it is to lose 10-15 pounds.....not hundreds of pounds like me. They are encouraging and nonjudgmental in their questions....it's just that I feel my responses would be in terms they can't grasp.

There may come a day a year or two down the line where I'll be comfortable discussing actual weights with them......but today is not that day.

[psychprof 141]

Your body is nobody else's business. Period.

These are probably the same people who run around touching pregnant women's bellies. How inappropriate?

I once "wore" my nephew in one of those baby wraps, under my coat because it was cold out and he was brand new. I had my coat unzipped just enough so I could keep an eye on his face. Now, I'm also a very busty person, so his little face and my chest were quite cozy. I can't even tell you how many people felt it was appropriate to walk up to me and shove their head down into my open coat to see the baby. I had a grown man walk up and grab the collar of my coat and peer as far down into my shirt as he could.

People are disgusting and have no respect.

People want to know how much you lost? Say "you first! What do you weigh?"

[MichiganChic 3,262]

I never wanted to tell anyone for the same reason. I would just say "not enough" and change the subject.

[jane13 2,256]

I have said numbers before in the past to family and some friends, but recently I decided to just start saying "a lot" when asked how much.

I don't like being asked how much I weigh right now. So that response is something like "consider me a work in progress" and smile.

[UalreadyKnow 843]

Just had someone this morning say "good morning skinny " mind you I'm still 250lbs.... Then proceeded to ask how much have you lost? When I answered "a lot" she says that's great but you have to keep it up??? Wtf?? Thanks WLS guru for ur lovely words of advice,was what I felt like saying, but she is my child's teachers' assistant so I had to play nice and bite my tongue. Needless to say, the conversation ended right there.

[RoscoColetrain 103]

I personally tend to go for whatever answer is the craziest i can think of when i get pushed and pestered too much.

450,000 micrograms.

[lauraellen80 855]

I get it. It's obvious that we are/were fat, but to put it out there in actual numbers is embarrassing! I've been fairly open about saying that I've lost over 100 lbs when people ask, but there is part of me that thinks, "Oh, no... now they know that I was well over 200 lbs before!" Of course, they're not blind, I'm sure they were aware of it, though not in terms of exact numbers.

I mentioned it in another post, but so far my favorite comment has been when a friend saw me a few months after surgery and said, "Is it just me, or have you lost a F**K-TON of weight?!" I was still quite a ways from goal then, so I replied, "No, more like half of a f**k-ton so far."

[lorri716 256]

You don't have to tell anyone anything if you don't want to. It's your right. People are sometimes just plain nosy.

[BobbyD 211]

I'm so glad I found this forum. I can hone my comedic skills using everyone else's wit and wisdom. As for stealing your material, you can just call me the Milton Berle of the Bariatric world.

[seaux_beautiful_vsg 63]

Maybe I'm the odd ball out but to tell someone that I've lost 100 LBS makes me feel very proud. Heck, especially since I have only lost 30 lbs since surgery. Losing weight is not an easy thing, however you do it. What people don't realize about having surgery is that it is not easy and it is not a quick fix. There is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. Own your weight loss and be proud. While it is absolutely no one's business unless you choose to make it their business, I don't think any of us have anything to be ashamed of.

[Healthy_life2 8,324]

Its funny no one asked me..... How much have you gained? Or for my scale number at my high weight.

After goal I took a flight to see a good friend. On my visit they introduced me to a group of their friends. This is our friend Jenn who lost a lot of weight. Then put me on the spot to tell everyone how much. I told them a person.( WOW awkward moment)

I confronted my friends when we were alone. I wanted them to understand I am much more than my weight loss. I will be glad when they can relax and treat me..as this is just me.