Relationships

[lofairy 6]

Hi, I'm new here. I'm 10 days post-op RNY. - I was wondering if any of you, have had people/friends/coworkers act different around you since weight loss surgery? How did you handle it?

Edited January 8, 2016 by lofairy

[jj7481 363]

Other than asking "Have you lost weight?," or "How much weight have you lost?" Aside from this I can't say anyone is acting differently. Granted, I'm still big so I still feel people look at me like "the fat guy."

As far as treating me differently, no....can't say I've noticed anything in that regard.

[jjmama 184]

I used to be completely ignored when I was out in public, but now that I'm 125 lbs down, random people will start up conversions in checkout lines or at the gym. Men actually smile at me and hold the doors open. It's kind of weird! My friends and family all tell me I look great but none of them treat me differently.

[Djmohr 6,965]

Everyone for the most part have been completely normal. I will say we have a friend couple that we were always very close with.

Bill is my husbands best friend from high school and since he got married 20 years ago we became good friends.

We actually hang out with them a lot less now mostly because they really act different around me. At first I really thought it was all in my head but I now think it has everything to do with my weight loss.

When I first shared with Joy that I was having surgery she was supportive but quick to tell me stories about how there are several women that work with her at the hospital that had it done and gained all their weight back.

I remember being very careful about how to respond because I had not yet gone thru surgery and was afraid I would fail. I remember saying that I certainly hope I would not be like the people she knows.

Then I had my surgery. Both Bill and Joy are obese themselves and they also love their cocktails. Neither my husband or I drink. My husband never, me very rarely.

I noticed the first time we went out for brunch after my surgery it was very weird. Same thing with the next time. Then I started noticing that they stopped inviting us out at all. It usually has to come from us and even then plans are seldom.

I don't know if I make them uncomfortable or what. They never ever have commented about how I look. Which honestly after 15 months and 135lbs everyone notices and they all comment. Not Bill and Joy, I swear I make them uncomfortable.

I try very hard not to make a big deal out of my eating when we are together because I don't want to make it weirder.

Anyway, now I am to a point where this is really their problem not mine. I try to encourage my husband to go to the ball game or auto show with Bill but I try to let the activities happen as they may. I will say, we used to get together more when we lived a whole state away than we do now.

[cocoa8utter 32]

I can't say much yet as I am almost 3 weeks after RNY and only down 23 pounds. My colleagues have been supportive so far, they all know. I found it easier to tell colleagues than friends. My family has been great too.

I am so saddened to hear that this positive achievement has caused friendships to crumble. It could be jealousy. Whatever it is, it is their loss. I would love to hang out with any of you!!

Xoxo From Florida!

[Deanah 50]

I've had to get used to getting lots of compliments. It's certainly done wonders for my relationship with my husband.

[lofairy 6]

Thank you ALL for your responses. I'm sure it'll help me in the future. ????