Gotta get this off my chest ...

[B-52 7,113]

WOW...I can't belive so many people can be so sensitive...it's a compliment...same as saying you are very attractive.

Accept it.

On the flipside, what were you before your weight loss? fat and ugly?

You could always wear a burka and hide yourself from the world...or maybe become a nun...or stay fat. That would work.

Using the term "Hottie" is the vernacular of the day...20 years ago it would have been a different term.

I'm 64 years old and have a daughter who is in her mid 30's...so I had to "Lock her away because she was a hottie" or should I say I had to "Beat the boys away with a stick..."

Or maybe sit on the front porch with a Shotgun on my lap.....

I work with women who when walking put up with cat calls and whistles every time they pass a construction site...yes, it can be called rude, but they know it's harmless...and I hear them talk-laugh about it....

Your husband should be bursting with pride...as superficial as that may sound, it's still reality.

That's my morning rant.

[Dub 9,922]

@songsmith funny you should ask that ... 99% of our co-workers are men ... so i sometimes think they just don't know HOW to pay a lady a compliment ... and men being men ... just say the first thing that comes to their mind without giving a thought of how it comes out ...

Believe me ... I am NOT God's gift to anyone but my husband ... I am still of the mind set that I'm huge and will always see myself that way ( i think ) ...

so maybe I'm being too sensitive about things that are said that weren't meant for my ears ...

It's still such a learning curve.

Men!

Ugh.

What creatures they can be.

Man, here.

Guilty as charged.

We say and do impulsive stuff. At least we don't pee on fire hydrants.....unless we are walking home from a bar and we pass one of those red beacons......and seeking relief seems like a great idea......until the cops show up right when relief is being had.....

Not that I have any knowledge of said act.

Seriously, though, don't take it too seriously. They are paying you a compliment in their own way. At least they aren't beating their chests and making ape calls while doing so.

Being a fellow knuckle dragger myself.....I can honestly say that I see women make tremendous transformations here on BP....and the thought that comes to mind is...."Wow.....she is hot".

There is no malice behind the thought....just an eyebrow raising reaction to a gal who has made great progress.

[MrsKarenC2008 622]

@Dub Your posts ... no matter the subject ... always make me smile ... I love your sense of humor and the way it comes across ...

Thank you for the insight into a man's mind ... sometimes it's hard to drag that stuff out of my husband!

I appreciate your reply Dub !

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Meh...

F'em. I had a lady ask me if I was getting a divorce because I was looking haaaaawwwwwt. I was dressed up and buying wine for our 20th anniversary.

Those folk don't matter. Your loved ones matter. The rest can suck it.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Whilst I get it, I think it gives too much credit to the speaker. Seriously. .. they see hot..they say "hot" I don't think it is more complicated than that.

There is a way that some people give 'complimenst' that is quite the opposite. The implication is that you/we were bow-wow's who had to take what we could get.

The part about implying that someone would start running around is simply inappropriate at best and low class at worst.

Correct. I tend not to take things as a veiled insult. I was a hot fatty, I am a hot not fatty.

[4MRB4PHOTO 3,900]

Without reading into those remarks "...that my husband better "put a lock on me" and "watch me" because I just might start fooling around on him ...... ", I would say they were paying you a compliment that you are pretty now and will be looking very "hot" after you lose your excess body weight.

Granted, the choice of words could have been a lot better.

As others pointed out, if guys said that (I doubt they are "testing the waters", they probably just talk like stereotypical men) just remember it is due to the "Y-chromosome" we have.

With this chromosome there are genetic defects that make some men:

Light farts on fire.

Enjoy watching The 3-Stooges movies.

Go to monster truck shows.

Yell "YEAH!" or "Woo-Hoo!" whenever something blows up in a movie.

Edited January 6, 2016 by 4MRB4PHOTO

[MrsKarenC2008 622]

@LipstickLady I like the way you think!

[WorkinOnMe 596]

she is always saying "hey skinny" ... and "oh look you have a waist!" ... I think in her mind she is paying me a compliment ...

But the way it comes out ... it's really a dig. It makes me very uncomfortable

I can completely relate to this!! People are calling me "Skinny" and "Slim" and other similar nicknames and it really bothers me. I know they mean well, and probably think it is a compliment, but it really rubs me the wrong way. *I* do not see myself as skinny. I know I am thinner than I used to be, but I am in no way skinny!! I have tried to just take a deep breath and let it roll off, but some days that is just soooo hard to do!

[NewSetOfCurves 1,553]

I went through this too. From both men, women, and close family members. I know they meant well, but it would still offend me. My response was, "My husband's love and attention is all that I desire. He has loved me skinny, fat, and everything in between. I am the lucky one."

[rking 484]

It definitely was a compliment. Many people are not well versed and it is a huge thing that the knuckle draggers actually thought to give a compliment. I'm sure they meant well and maybe that was the best they could do.

@@Dub I love that you are a knuckle dragger too. Geez that made me laugh.

[Dub 9,922]

It definitely was a compliment. Many people are not well versed and it is a huge thing that the knuckle draggers actually thought to give a compliment. I'm sure they meant well and maybe that was the best they could do.

@@Dub I love that you are a knuckle dragger too. Geez that made me laugh.

I'm glad to have been of service.

I'm housebroken.......mostly.

I can fetch, do Water retrieves and bark on command.

Old dog....but always learning new tricks.

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,444]

they probably just talk like stereotypical men)

You mean two men simultaneously yammering the same things, one per ear, yes?

Agreed. The originator mentioned that most were men after I posted earlier. That changes things in good part. They intended no backhanded compliments.

[Healthy_life2 8,324]

@@MrsKarenC2008

We should get a thread going on the awkward comments and moments we have experienced after surgery. They seem to rank uncomfortable, flattering, funny to creepy.

[Elode 8,093]

People are stupid. Some feel the need to talk just to hear their own voices. While that situation does happen it's only going to happen if that's what you want. You may want to remind them that when they cut open your stomach that didn't unhinge your legs. Not everyone loses weight for the purpose of running off. So ignorant. You may also want to point out some of the important issue going on in the world that could use some of their attention so they will have something else to focus on besides your life.

[MrsKarenC2008 622]

@Elode I couldn't have said it better myself