Afraid of failure

[tany1157 6]

I'm having the sleeve on Tuesday. I've been in my hospital's program since March, and have lost 52 pounds. All of a sudden, I've had a hard time following my two week pre op diet. I was good for one week, and have been eating off plan all week. (3 shakes, any veg, 2 fruit, 4 oz of meat daily). I've been having food I'm thinking I won't be able to eat anymore. Now I'm wondering if I will even be able to do this after surgery. I'm sure I'm just being down on myself, but don't know what happened this week. I have an eating disorder therapist, and a sponsor in OA. I'm hoping to hear other people went through this before surgery, and was able to do the right thing afterwards. Thanks for any and all advice!

[M!@ 320]

I'm having the sleeve on Tuesday. I've been in my hospital's program since March, and have lost 52 pounds. All of a sudden, I've had a hard time following my two week pre op diet. I was good for one week, and have been eating off plan all week. (3 shakes, any veg, 2 fruit, 4 oz of meat daily). I've been having food I'm thinking I won't be able to eat anymore. Now I'm wondering if I will even be able to do this after surgery. I'm sure I'm just being down on myself, but don't know what happened this week. I have an eating disorder therapist, and a sponsor in OA. I'm hoping to hear other people went through this before surgery, and was able to do the right thing afterwards. Thanks for any and all advice!

Tany,

Lots of people go through a stage where they have "food funerals". But the truth is, this surgery is only a tool to get you where you need to be. In order for it to work you are going to have to use it properly. You are getting off to a good start by getting support. But ask yourself, how it is you have been able to keep at it for 6 months, there has been determination and will power. Congrats on the 50+ lb loss thus far. The food funerals are about anxiety, and anxiety about this major life style change is normal.

The truth is down the line, you may be able to eat those foods again, only in much smaller portions. However, that is something to think about in maintenance after you reach your goal weight. For now though, continue to engage your supports. And once you are on the other side, remember we are all here on this journey with you.

[FrankyG 1,450]

The sleeve can't magically make you stop wanting bad things forever. About 1 year out, I'm wanting cake and Cookies and carby stuff more than I used to. But I have less room to fit in that crappy stuff, and I can just eat one cookie or have a few bites of cake for special occasions (like Christmas) and I'm done. Before, I'd eat half the box or cake and feel horrible about myself. I eat normal, small portions now, and the cookie is something that doesn't happen often.

See, that's the thing. You absolutely will be able to eat total crap pretty much within 3-4 months after your surgery. You could eat junk all day every day for the first 6 months- year and lose weight because the amount of food you can fit in your stomach will be so small, it will not matter if it is french fries and milkshakes. Should you? Hell no. The problem is when you do this type of eating, all you're getting is fat, sodium and carbs. You need to eat healthy Proteins, complex carbs and nutrient dense food packed with Vitamins and minerals. The ones that fail the sleeve are the ones that never change over to eating healthy, never retrain themselves in this very short time period to eat lean meats/protein and veggies, and recognize the junk is something that should be very, very rare events in their life.

This is more about your brain than your stomach. The sleeve gives you a chance to take the crazy hunger and Portion Control difficulties out of the picture so you can really concentrate on changing your mindset/relationship with food.

The failure part is if you don't use this time to reteach yourself how to eat healthy, and what foods to eat on a regular basis. Your sleeve won't fail you if you learn to use it properly.

Edited January 3, 2016 by FrankiesGirl

[Djmohr 6,965]

@@tany1157,

This really is about the anxiety of such a big change. Having weight loss surgery really is more head than anything else. The surgery helps you manage portion size especially for the sleeve.

What you put into it is all up to you.

You will be able to eat some of your favorite foods again, the reality is you may not want to and if you do it should be once in a while not daily.

You will do fine, just let yourself get through this surgery. Try not to think about everything you will never have again because it simply isn't true.

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

I think we were all afraid of failure before surgery. I know I was. Why not? I had "failed" at every diet I had ever been on.

What I didn't realize, and my surgeon helped me understand, was that the deck was stacked against me and my body was fighting me every step of the way. Evolution and our modern culture were conspiring to make me fat and keep me fat.

Now, after surgery, I am learning to work with my body and not against it. It's not a battle but more working to keep a finely tuned machine running smoothly.

It takes effort and is not necessarily easy, but post-op life is fairly simple: Water, Protein, Vitamins, exercise.

Since you are still pre-op, your body is fighting back so it is a struggle.

Post-op, if you are anything like me, all of the work you have done and are doing with your therapist and through OA will pay off big time.

You can do this!