Parents of young children - what are you telling your kids about surgery?

[walkinggirl 90]

First off, I am only sharing info about my surgery with those very close to me. So my dilemma is whether or not to tell my children what I am doing (they are ages 8,6,4). On one hand, I don't want to lie to them. I do have to spend one night in the hospital, so there is no getting around that. And obviously they will know something is up when I get home. But on the other hand, I don't want to unnecessarily worry them. They will be in school during my surgery and my one daughter is especially sensitive about loved ones being sick, in the hospital, etc. If I tell them up front that I am having surgery, I am afraid that they will tell their teachers or others at school. We live in a small town and then my phone will be ringing off the hook with people asking me what is going on! I'm sure I'm probably overthinking this, but just curious what others have done. Thanks

[jboys83 17]

My kids are 8 and 12. They both know what I am going to do. All of us are over weight except my 8 yr old daughter. ( not sure what gene she has lol) there are a few reasons for this surgery and one of them being I want to be able to help my son be healthier. They know what to expect from mommy and the challenges I have already faced. My liver reduction diet through the holidays was tough but they held me accountable. You do have younger kiddos so maybe they don't need to know everything besides mommy is trying to be healthier and this surgery will help you.

Edited January 2, 2016 by jboys83

[Kelly1121 26]

My kids are 3 and 7 and I will not be telling them what type of surgery I'm having. I'll let them know that I need to go to the hospital for a night, and some other general bits of information to satisfy them, but I don't plan to explicitly tell them I am having WLS. Like you, I don't want them telling others what I'm having done (nor do I want to ask them to keep a secret/lie), and it's just not a detail I feel they need to know.

[Mrs.A.Train 20]

We told our daughter she's 10 yrs old nd I'm having the surgery first.....when it first started we took her to the meeting with us bcuz she was only between the age of 7 nd 9 yrs old so we couldn't leave her at he by herself so she went nd when we came home well it took till the weekend for her to really ask what was that meeting about so we told her that meeting that we went to was to give us information on how we can be healthier for u so that we can raise u into a beautiful woman that ur growing into...now that those years have passed nd I'm having my surgery on the 13th nd she older now we still talk about it but we told her what's said in this house stays in this house she had company over right b4 Christmas last year nd she mentioned the surgery nd I told her not to say anything bcuz I don't want no one to know what I'm doing so her friends won't b out saying things bcuz lids can b very mean nd rude... Just let them know that ur ok ur just getting healthier for urself nd for ur family

[southernbelle256 101]

I have a 4 year old. I told him that mommy needed to get some boo boos in my belly to help me play with him for a long time.

[g2bskny 10]

I have an 18mo old and a 3 1/2 yr old. The 3 yr old knows that I'll be going to the dr for a few nights and daddy will be doing bath and bed time. I told her I was going to come back home and that I woukd be ok.

[cameogrl26 8]

My boys are 7 and 8 and they are fully aware Mommy is having surgery to help her lose weight. It's important for even your kids to be apart of your support system

[Mrs_O 118]

i have two boys age 7 and 3. the 3 yr old doesn't understand anything and i am sure he will miss me for the one night i will be gone but he has stayed with my parents overnight plenty and this time my mom will be with me so daddy can be home with them and get our oldest off to school the next morning.

our 7 yr old is fully aware of what is happening. he had some questions which i tried to answer fully for him and he seems good to go now. he at first asked if mommy was going to die. once i explained everything to him he seems to not be worried at all now. he is happy that mommy will be able to play with them for longer than 5 mins without getting our of breath!

[ocgirl15 667]

My kids are 5 and 8 and I knew that they could NOT handle the idea or visual of most of their moms stomach being removed. So I used their grandfather's recent hernia repair as an example. Paraphrase, "Just like Pop I am getting stomach surgery and it will help me feel better in the long run. It is not dangerous and I will probably be home in a day". They visited me at the hospital Monday night (surgery day). I was home before they came home from school on Tuesday. My husband got them on the bus Wednesday morning and he went to work. After that I got them on and off the bus and took care of myself 100%. My explanation for my diet. "The dr wants me to eat this way I guess my stomach not ready for regular food yet." Since I am keeping it private I plan to say I had hernia repair if they spill the Beans. But haven't needed to do that in 3 weeks.

[DaisyAmy 561]

It's tough. My kid is 13, so I told him the truth. It helped that I have a friend that went through it about a year ago. It's such a personal decision but be prepared to answer a lot of questions about what you do or don't eat!

[jhbeck 29]

My kids are 3 and 6. I have been thinking about this too. My 6 yr old is aware that I am fat. We have talked about mommy working to be healthier. I've been getting on the treadmill.

So I think I'm going to tell them that the dr is fixing my stomach to help me be healthier. I'm a single mom, so a friend and/or grandma will be with them while I am in the hospital. That will be the hardest part for them.

Jess, mom to Ysabel, 6 and Maggie, 3

[jembell01 129]

I told my kids. They are 8 & 12. I wanted them to be aware of the changes and be able to understand what was happening. They were pretty cool with it. We had discussions about it prior. It mainly consisted of, " Mommy, we think you are beautiful like you are" & "will you still be soft for us to lay our head on?" ????

[skrbobee 10]

I'll talk to my two year old about being healthy and making healthy eating decisions but I'm not going to tell him because he's just to darn young to understand what I'm doing!! My parents will be taking care of him during my recovery as well as me! So, at least we'll only be separated for the two nights I'll be in the hospital. ❤️ I plan to talk to him more as he gets older so he knows that Mama had to work hard to be healthy and that he should too (but not in a surgical way, like, he should eat right and exercise so he doesn't end up needing surgery like Mama). This is morbid but I also plan on writing him a letter about why I decided on doing the surgery in case something happens during the surgery and I am not around to tell him when he's older why I chose to have this surgery and how much I love him. Like I said, morbid, but I feel it's almost as important as having advanced directives and a will... Take care and good luck!

Edited January 11, 2016 by skrbobee

[RonnieRab 31]

I have 3 boys soon going on for, 10, 3, 2, and one due in 5 days. My oldest has always been very supportive of me trying to be healthier and I will explain it to him but not in detail. And of course I will be open to answer any questions that he has but I will also let him understand that people can be mean and I don't want to talk about it to anyone else.

[Daisydawn34 41]

I have 5 kids ages 17-11-8-3 and 2. My oldest 3 boys were well aware what I was doing they were my biggest supporters. My 11 year old even stuck up for me when other family members tried to talk me out of it. They knew mommy was doing this to be healthy and to live a long full active life with them. I have always been a big pusher of a healthy lifestyle with them and honest about weight because I never wanted them to be in my shoes. My 3 year old knows mommy had surgery and that mommy is getting skinny she see it and will point it out. She just knows I am exercising and see me do it. My 2 year old was too little but understood mommy had boo boo at first and I needed to be careful. She gets excited to come to the gym with me and see people exercise. It is good for them to see all the healthy lifestyle changes that come with it.