To tell or not to tell? WLS

[Pinkgirl1234 761]

Following this thread closely because I'm still in the pre-op approval period and haven't told anyone yet (except you guys!) with 3 months to go.

I WANT to tell my family because I want their support and I want to be honest with them, but there are a host of things I have to deal with by telling them. I guess that's called growing up.

Someone here mentioned talking about this with their therapist- that's what I plan to do.

Wait until you are approved.When all is confirmed and you are ready for your 2 week surgery.Its scheduled and a definite then key in a few select members of your family.

[RLH7882 16]

I don't think you're obligated to tell anyone if you care not to ,imo. I've told my mom and sister who have helped me through the 6 month weight loss process and my co workers/boss who have also supported me through the process. Other than that I have only told a couple friends and I do not regret it and appreciate the support! Dont worry about it! This is an exciting time for you and a positive step for a healthier future so if there is negativity just ignore it and remember why you're doing this in the first place best of luck!

Thanks ????

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

Before surgery I told one of my really good friends and told her not to tell anyone. She promptly told her husband and her mom. I ended up telling her that during pre-op testing surgery just isn't an option for me. Then I had a different friend come and be with me for surgery.

She thought that "don't tell anyone" did not include her husband and her mom, when I feel like anyone means anyone. So once you tell people, they can take it upon themselves to tell whoever they want, so once you put it out there, it is just out there. I have kept secrets for her and she has previously been able to keep secrets. I don't know why she felt this one was something she could blurt out. I know you can't really trust married people to keep secrets, but again, she had done it in the past.

3 people know about my surgery and they all live several states away. I don't have an office or co-workers, I work for myself from home, so I don't have anyone asking questions about my weight loss.

[misi324 22]

Best of luck!

Edited January 4, 2016 by misi324

[higher 966]

Following this thread closely because I'm still in the pre-op approval period and haven't told anyone yet (except you guys!) with 3 months to go.

I WANT to tell my family because I want their support and I want to be honest with them, but there are a host of things I have to deal with by telling them. I guess that's called growing up.

Someone here mentioned talking about this with their therapist- that's what I plan to do.

Wait until you are approved.When all is confirmed and you are ready for your 2 week surgery.Its scheduled and a definite then key in a few select members of your family.

Great advice. I will do that. Thank you.

[cdsjjotn 516]

I told my 3 daughters, boyfriend, and 3 best friends. After surgery I told one of my sisters and couple of other close friends . None of my co- workers, they are very opinionated about diet and weight loss so I told them I had a hernia which I did and have gone on a high Protein low carb diet.

[Pinkgirl1234 761]

Co workers need not know

[elizabeth105 44]

Unfortunately, all of my siblings are very fit, active, and at a healthy weight. They're not supportive of surgery and have made rude comments about how it's really not difficult to do on your own (ugh!) So I am definitely not telling them.

However, my mother-in-law had her sleeve done March 2015, and my husband is meeting the surgeon for the first time in 3 weeks, so we will all support each other.

I agree, co-workers don't need to know, it's a personal decision.

[Airstream88 361]

I'm just starting the pre-approval process - first appointment is on 1/11. I don't plan to shout it from the rooftops but if someone asks, I will tell them. I've already told the people close to me that I am pursuing this surgery and so far everyone has been supportive or at least not said anything negative.

[bjc1971 85]

I am very private and decided to tell only close family. Now almost 4 months have passed and just last week my stepsons girlfriend saw me and kept hinting if I had a Lapband (I had gastric bypass). I just avoided the questions... I wish I were more like some of you and have no problem telling others about my surgery but my mind goes back to the days of yo-yo dieting... I would tell others I was dieting... I would lose 20 pounds... People would be proud of me... Then I would gain back 30!! In the back of my mind I'm still scared like that!! I've done great so far... My first appointment I was 306 lbs 5'4". During the 6 month diet I went to 280. Ended my 2 week preop diet at 270. Surgery 9/21/15. Today I'm 225. I still have a ways to go but I feel better than I can ever remember in my life!!!

[ready4therealme 41]

I've pretty much told anyone who would listen. I'm excited and feel like if everyone around me knows then it will help keep me on track. I figured I've tried dieting for years and now all of a sudden if I have rapid weight loss they would figure something was up any ways. When I here the negative comments I ignore them. This decision was for me and no one else. I may only be two weeks post op but I know it was the right one.

[Mrs_O 118]

well, finally broke down and told my grandmother today. so far only my hubby, kids and mom know. it actually went surprisingly well! she even offered to loan me the money so i won't have to pay interest back on a loan, just pay her some monthly!!! thats the only people that will know about the surgery beforehand. i don't mind telling anyone else after it is over with but i don't need anyone else's opinion about my choice!

[because 63]

I might be the odd one out, but I'm telling everybody. I'm too excited to keep it quiet and am proud of the choice I'm making. I figure if they don't agree than they are the ones ill informed. I have done my research and I'm finally taking control of my life and moving in a positive direction. I have found everybody to be very supportive so far and no bad responses. Frankly, I'm tired of being ashamed and refuse to let anyone take away my determination and power by listening to negative talk. At the same time I work in school district that treats it employees and each other like family. I'm lucky that way! For everyone keeping it hush, I respect your decision. Do what feels right for you. If misplaced words and or ignorant comments might shake your faith or make your personal space feel violated, then others don't need to know. Good luck everyone and I hope this forum gives you as much support as I've been feeling.

[Paula'sVSGLife 49]

I have told a few people but I am not wanting to lie so if anyone asks me why I am suddenly 80 - 100 lbs lighter within a year... I don't know that I will be able to lie to them. Exercise and healthy eating doesn't really cut it! Maybe by then I won't care who knows. But I would rather them not judge me and then watch me every time they see me... hard to know what the best path to take is!

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[Commander 12]

I don't want to tell anyone other than my fiancée. But I know my friends and family and coworkers are all going to ask questions about my weight loss..... I am getting married in October so I might be able to get away with telling them I am just super motivated this time and combining all previous efforts.....? I don't know.... they'll probably all figure it out, but it's not a topic I care to discuss with people.