To tell or not to tell? WLS

[RLH7882 16]

I have been discussing this with my therapist for a while and I really don't want to tell my coworkers but I am going to. Drastic weight loss coupled with time off from work..doesn't take an Eisenstein to figure it out. I initially just wanted to tell my boss i needed off for one week (with no explanation) but then what if I need more time? Also considering my profession my coworkers are going to need to cover for me while I'm gone. I'm a private person. It's killing me I have to tell them but I figure it will come out sooner or later. I don't know if they will be supportive or not, i feel like they may be with the exception of two coworkers. I know once I tell them it will spread like wildfire but I will be asking for them to keep it confidential. Fat chance that will happen though. Outside of work, I have told two people.

I agree about being gone from work soo long may have ppl question. But I actually told a little white lie. I'm also having a major hernia repair. So that's exactly what I told my job I'm having done. They don't need any further info. lol

[RLH7882 16]

I'm not telling others (besides my husband). I don't want comments in either way - both of disagreement or support - because my weight is not a topic I care to discuss with others. I'm uncomfortable discussing weight loss with family and friends, so I have not told anyone else, and it will stay that way.

Couldn't have word it any better! I feel the same way. And I'm not telling anyone either.

[RLH7882 16]

I told my cousin nd I hate that I told her bcuz she was saying I don't need to have surgery just stop eating so much but I've gained so much weight nd this was the best option that I had.... I'm 302.06lbs nd I'm 5 feet 3 inches tall....my wish is to get down to 140 lbs nd I'm praying that all of my illness would b gone best wishes to you all

And this is why I'm not telling family . I have ignorant cousins too that are health freaks and will absolutely judge me for Wls. ???? They don't know the struggle of having 100 plus extra pounds on them. Well wishes to you as well, and keep us posted!! ????

[AJKM8516 3]

I've only told my husband and mother... I'm not telling anyone else. My children are young, so they wouldn't even understand. This is an emotional rollercoaster as is, and I don't need the extra burden of my family, friends, and co-workers trying to talk me out of it... Or the snarky comments... All in all, I don't want my decisions questioned, and I don't want to explain myself or answer to anybody. I too live a quiet and private life... And I intend to keep at that way. I figured my failed attempts in the past, which I remained very vocal about, annoyed my family and friends, like "oh, there she is again, on some crazied weight loss journey.. Wasting all that money".. So maybe they'll assume the same and look the other way! 8-)

[AJKM8516 3]

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Edited January 2, 2016 by AJKM8516

[lulunoire 12]

I don't think you're obligated to tell anyone if you care not to ,imo. I've told my mom and sister who have helped me through the 6 month weight loss process and my co workers/boss who have also supported me through the process. Other than that I have only told a couple friends and I do not regret it and appreciate the support! Dont worry about it! This is an exciting time for you and a positive step for a healthier future so if there is negativity just ignore it and remember why you're doing this in the first place best of luck!

[megpie22 13]

It is ultimately your decision. You deserve support so, therefore be careful who you tell. I have learned the hard way. I told my co-workers and some of them have said some pretty hurtful things. When I think about the ones who matter most...their support is what I need. Not my co-workers:)

[psychprof 141]

I had originally planned to tell no one. I live alone and my family are all four states away, so it seemed possible to pull it off. However, my hospital will not let me move forward with the surgery without knowing that I have a support system in place, so they made me agree to at least tell someone in my family.

I'm with many of the posters here--my health is nobody's business. My weight is nobody's business either. And people are snarky and nasty. So, no one needs to know except for whomever my hospital decides, I guess.

[saffron280 22]

I have told my immediate family, my bosses, a couple of close friends, and my best friend of 29 years, who is also going through the pre-surgery process. I do not care one way or the other if people have good things or negative things to say am doing this for me, and my health. Unfortunately too many people think that they have the right to run their mouths no matter what the situation. I have learned how to shut them down quickly. It is an individual decision to tell, or not to tell. Follow your heart, and do what feels right to you.

[McMasterflash 46]

I told my boyfriend, close friends and my bartender. My bartender is very accommodating in mixing me Protein Shakes instead of drinks. That way I can still have fun at the bar without the booze! And I am the designated driver now!

[Pinkgirl1234 761]

I told my cousin nd I hate that I told her bcuz she was saying I don't need to have surgery just stop eating so much but I've gained so much weight nd this was the best option that I had.... I'm 302.06lbs nd I'm 5 feet 3 inches tall....my wish is to get down to 140 lbs nd I'm praying that all of my illness would b gone best wishes to you all

And this is why I'm not telling family . I have ignorant cousins too that are health freaks and will absolutely judge me for Wls. They don't know the struggle of having 100 plus extra pounds on them. Well wishes to you as well, and keep us posted!!

Yes I agree...keep quiet...I have some big mouth ignorant cousins as well and as far as work is concerned.I told them I have a hiatal hernia which I do have and that's it!!!!!!! It's not anyone's business...my parent and my aunt knows...Only reason she was told is because she lives with my parents and I...and yeah she was told...to shut up about it!!!!

No opinions or comments needed or wanted.....at all.My business's and my life....I am in control.

[jadedragon 4]

I have told all of my coworkers. They are all guys and treat me like there little sister and would never forgive me if I did not tell them. I have told all my immediate family excluding one judgmental and crazy Aunt who heard it to the grape vine and keeps trying to call me. I don't have the time or the patients to deal with her questioning my decisions. I have told my Nieces and Nephews even though they are very young I wanted to keep them informed because we are very close. They range from 10-3 and they worry about there Aunt Nanna if we don't talk every two or three days. I don't want anyone thinking I am sick because I an loosing weight so quickly.

So all in all everyone I care about knows and anyone else I have not told will know eventually.

[cindyw41 761]

I've told..I honestly don't care about the negative comments. This decision hasn't come lightly. I've been overweight for 20+ years. Obviously dieting and exercise alone hasn't worked. If I get resistance I tell them.. Well a team of 5 different medical professionals all agree that this is the right thing to do...I trust their judgement. That usually shuts them up.

[appletree 12]

I think that people are judgmental and have only told very few coworkers, that I know will not tell other people, and of course my husband and kids (teenagers) know. For the rest I did tell some people that I had gall bladder surgery and needed to recover and changed the way I am eating and exercise. Yes people are very judgmental. I think the surgery is a great tool to get started and help you loose weight in beginning faster so its easier to exercise and get into good habit of smaller portions etc, but you still have to do all the work and keep it up. So do what you feel good about and only tell the people that you feel comfortable with.

[higher 966]

Following this thread closely because I'm still in the pre-op approval period and haven't told anyone yet (except you guys!) with 3 months to go.

I WANT to tell my family because I want their support and I want to be honest with them, but there are a host of things I have to deal with by telling them. I guess that's called growing up.

Someone here mentioned talking about this with their therapist- that's what I plan to do.