To tell or not to tell? WLS

[ohh_that_girl 22]

I've been fat pretty much all 27 years I've been on this earth. I've been considering this surgery for almost 5 years and I'm lucky the people I have told are supportive. Now that I'm making decisions on the surgery and moving forward I've decided to tell a handful of people but post surgery I will not lie to anyone that asks. In general I'm a private person but also I'm also the kind of person people don't openly share negative opinions to. I don't expect someone to tell me they disapprove but if they do I honestly don't care. This is about me and my health - I asked the people that really matter in my life and their support is overwhelming. For those of you who have people who are negative about your decision I think you're right not have the conversation with them. This is a decision that should be exciting and it will be difficult enough without others' negativity.

Edited January 21, 2016 by ohh_that_girl

[because 63]

Another angle, I have thought that my testimony could help someone else in the same boat. Show others that there is a way out of the quagmire of obesity. I have meet to lovely ladies (friends of a friend) who have been open and honest with their journey and they have helped me with my decision to take this step. Seeing success and knowing I could do it too is awesome. Be someone else's hero!

[Mrs_O 118]

Finally have it all out in the open to family and it now feels like a huge weight has been lifted! I finally just bit the bullet and told and I feel much better!

[CanadaLoser 80]

Considering in weight a LOT, in sure people will figure it out when the weight starts dropping quite fast.

However, I have told no one except my husband and don't plan to tell anyone else either.

If it comes up, I'll assess who it is and how I feel on that moment. It won't stay a secret forever, but right now this is my journey and I don't want it in the open.

[RLH7882 16]

well, finally broke down and told my grandmother today. so far only my hubby, kids and mom know. it actually went surprisingly well! she even offered to loan me the money so i won't have to pay interest back on a loan, just pay her some monthly!!! thats the only people that will know about the surgery beforehand. i don't mind telling anyone else after it is over with but i don't need anyone else's opinion about my choice!

Wow ! That worked out perfect for you! Very nice grandma! ????????????????

[rosina1475 4]

I am struggling with this, too. It is going to be very obvious that I am losing weight, but I don't want to deal with any judgy comments, not that anyone has been that way with me in the past. I am kind of torn. The hernia story is a good one, maybe I will go with that one. Scheduled for 2-17.

[CanadaLoser 80]

I am struggling with this, too. It is going to be very obvious that I am losing weight, but I don't want to deal with any judgy comments, not that anyone has been that way with me in the past. I am kind of torn. The hernia story is a good one, maybe I will go with that one. Scheduled for 2-17.

I'm the day after you!

[JessicaSmith 9]

The only person I told was my mom. I don't plan on telling anyone else. I personally feel like it's too much pressure if to many people know. I feel as if I'm going to have many others things to focus on and their judgement and/or expectations can take a back seat.

[Rainy Days 73]

The hardest person to discuss this with was my husband. He is naturally thin and doesn't understand my struggle. But he was wonderfully supportive. I have involved him in helping me decide which type of surgery I want. Now he is all on board because he sees how excited I am about this. I told my youngest son (age 12) and he just took it in stride. I won't be telling him the process of the surgery because he will just worry. I will tell my oldest (age 23) when I see him next, and he might be concerned, but I'm sure he'll end up supportive.

I will also tell my boss and coworkers when I'm ready to request time off for the surgery or pre appointments. Since I work in the health care industry, I won't get any grief. We all see how damaging obesity is on your health.

Anyone else, I won't be telling. I don't much care if random people approve or not. I am doing this for my betterment, not theirs.

[RLH7882 16]

I am struggling with this, too. It is going to be very obvious that I am losing weight, but I don't want to deal with any judgy comments, not that anyone has been that way with me in the past. I am kind of torn. The hernia story is a good one, maybe I will go with that one. Scheduled for 2-17.

Hernia is what I told all and I'm sticking with it. And after doing research , the hernia repair (upper GI) its the same post of diet as VSG. Go figure!?

[Pinkgirl1234 761]

So glad...the more people you tell the more problems and comments and just to much drama....

[GibbsGirl 483]

Sooooooo nobody is asking lol. 45 pounds down nothing. Small town, I'm telling ya. The only people I did not want to share or have know about my surgery until it got around was my ex and his family. Just non of his or their business, they live out of town so no big deal. I ask my 17 year old son just to keep my medical stuff private. Then I started to feel guilty, I didn't want him to have to lie so I set him down and told him if he was asked he could be truthful. He said ohhh dad already ask why you were having surgery, I told him you wouldn't want him to know. lol Well the truth is the truth.

[cdsjjotn 516]

I also told the hernia story . I had my sleeve done 11/31 , about a month before that I started telling coworkers I need to be on a high Protein low carb diet cuz of blood pressure etc.. Since I've been on diets before along with all the other women that work here, I was able to pull it off, especially after the new year everybody is always on a diet so I just blended in. I had lost 72 pounds on WW a few years back so losing this weight again they won't think nothing of it ... Only this time it will be permanently off !! I'm not sure of the reactions or comments I would've received if I told about the WLS but I personally just feel it's less stressful and drama free ????

[Primha 20]

I'm not telling anyone, except my husband. My previous weight loss experience taught me a lot about busybodies, gossip and drama associated with someone's major appearance change / improvement.

Plus, I am at somewhat lower BMI range (which is still severe obesity BTW!) and I don't want to hear everyone's "expert" opinion on what I need and don't need to do - it annoys the daylight out of me. Where all of those "experts" and "concerned friends" have been when I was sinking deep into depression and gaining pounds just before their eyes???

[lisaannedp 10]

Reading this post makes me sad. I agree that there are judgmental people in this world, especially when it comes to weight and health. I was very worried about this as I started my journey. However, I am happy to share, humanity has greatly impressed me. I have not told everyone, but my family, close friends, and close coworkers all know. And much to my surprise, not one negative comment. Every single person I have talked to about this has been incredibly supportive and overjoyed for me. I am so excited, it's hard to keep it to myself, and I don't want to live under a veil of secrecy. I don't believe it's everyone's business, and I won't be broadcasting it, or sharing Facebook updates regarding my surgery. But it was important to me to have autonomy and honesty with those closest to me. I need the support, and I need the positive reinforcement, which is all I have received.

Moral of my story, give people a chance, they might surprise you!