Rude people

[Ilovecats1985 100]

I had my sleeve 9 weeks ago. Things are going great, I've had a couple bad days but nothing major to complain about. I've lost 40 lbs in two months. So I am feeling really great with no regrets.

As we have all just gone thru the holiday season with lots of opportunities to fall off the wagon, I had no desire to eat anything bad for me. My in laws, mostly my mil and sil were so extremely rude throughout the holidays. On thanksgiving my mil announced at dinner I had had surgery and that's why I wasn't eating much. My husbands entire family was there. I was so mad. I chose to keep my surgery quiet. It's a personal matter and I tend to be a very private person and I didn't want all the attention. Well I know my mil was hoping for someone to make some rude comment Bc even before the surgery she was very rude about it. But it back fired on her and everyone was praising my lose and my decision. I could tell she was mad.

Well two weeks later we have my sons bday party at a local arcade. They had pizza and cake. I ate a healthy lunch before we left for the party. My mil once again announced in front of my sons friends and their parents that I wasn't eating Bc I had surgery. I was pissed. Then when I was serving cake to everyone a little while my sil says "I'm sure you are regretting your stupid surgery now. You know you want cake!" At that point I was done with both of them. I told her I was very happy with my "stupid surgery", I have no regrets, and I have no desire to eat sweets so if she could kindly keep her negativity to herself I would appreciate it. As soon as I left the room they both started talking crap about me to my ex mil who is like my mom. She shut them both down very quickly. Even she wasn't excited about my surgery but she has always been supportive.

So now we are at Christmas, my husbands family is talking to me about my weight loss and how good I'm looking and asking how things are going. Both my mil and sil kept interrupting making rude comments, bringing up how I had a bad day recently so it wasn't worth it, how the holidays have to suck for me Bc I can't eat like a normal person, and how they can't see a difference in my weight (I've gone down 3 sizes), and so on. I finally pulled them to the side and told them they need to cut the negative, rude, unnneeded comments. I told them they seem very jealous and hopeful for me to fail and i didn't appreciate that from people who are claiming to be family. If it continues we would no longer take part in their family gatherings.

So my mil turns around and tells my husband I was being a bitch (sorry for the language) and threatening to disown them. My husband was clueless to most of these comments and incidents other than the thanksgiving incident. And on thanksgiving he told her she was rude and disrespectful and it needed to stop. I filled him in on everything else and was furious. He called her and told her I had every right to say what I said and to be mad. And he stood by me completely.

I'm sure this will not be the end of it. But it's getting to the point I just don't want to be around them. Or I am gonna turn into that mega bitch she claimed I am. Anyone else deal with this kinda stuff from family or friends?

[Miss Mac 6,262]

It is no secret here that bariatric surgery will expose the raw dynamics of your relationships. It is a painful process, but people will expose how they really feel about you, and who is supportive of your efforts and who you should avoid. As I have said recently, people who talk about you that way are not telling you about who you are, they are telling you about who they are.

Your husband is a gift. Too bad he comes with all that drama. So, let the little dogs bark and just go on with your pursuit of health and happiness.

[Babbs 14,680]

@@Miss Mac I love you.

"Let the little dogs bark".

Classic.

[thenewandbestme 81]

Sorry, but what is mil and sil stand for? I'm lost. Is little sister?

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[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

Bless their hearts. They sound positively odious. Good for you for standing up for yourself. Your husband sounds like a keeper.

[Cheeselife 68]

Mother-in-law, sister-in-law.

They sound awful and toxic, I'm so sorry. None of my family knows about my surgery, just my husband and a couple of close friends. I'm not strong enough to deal with any negativity.

You dud the right thing, tried to keep the peace despite them, then stood your ground when they pushed you too far. People who behave like that will struggle to find happiness, they truly are their own punishment. I'm so sorry.

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[L.o.v.e 36]

Hi there! It sounds like the surgery isn't the issue at all they are just using that as an excuse to pick on you. They were jealous of you because of your marriage and it's super awesome that he has your back. I wouldn't have anything to do with them personally. I know your married to him and his family but I don't think your obligated to like them or socialize with them you said I do to him not them. Don't let them bully you yeah I'm a mom I said bully lol! They will need you before you need them! To h e double hockey sticks with him honey! Keep up the good work!!!

Edited December 28, 2015 by L.o.v.e

[2goldengirl 2,076]

I'm SO GLAD you pulled them aside and told them to cut the crap, and gladder still that your hubs stood up for you not once, but twice. Fabulous choices of yours on both counts.

The downside is that the more unperturbed you get about their nasty comments, the more outrageous they are likely to become. You and hubs just keep doing what you're doing, their smacktalk will only hurt them both in the end.

Just wait til next Thanksgiving, when you're a year and nine weeks out from your surgery, and totally rocking some cute outfit and collecting compliments. Living well is the best revenge.

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,444]

@@Ilovecats1985, you love your husband, you love your son, you love your cats. That's enough. You don't have to love the harpies. Go ahead and punch their lights out.

[TinyTink 268]

Bravo for you, bravo for hubby!! I gotta tell ya, you are waaaaay kinder than I would have been. I'm sorry they've attempted to make you miserable. You must be doing great for them to keep at it like they do.

[Ilovecats1985 100]

Sorry, but what is mil and sil stand for? I'm lost. Is little sister?

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Mother in law, sister in law

[Ilovecats1985 100]

Thank you all for your support! ☺️

[shellyd67 198]

I had my sleeve 9 weeks ago. Things are going great, I've had a couple bad days but nothing major to complain about. I've lost 40 lbs in two months. So I am feeling really great with no regrets.

As we have all just gone thru the holiday season with lots of opportunities to fall off the wagon, I had no desire to eat anything bad for me. My in laws, mostly my mil and sil were so extremely rude throughout the holidays. On thanksgiving my mil announced at dinner I had had surgery and that's why I wasn't eating much. My husbands entire family was there. I was so mad. I chose to keep my surgery quiet. It's a personal matter and I tend to be a very private person and I didn't want all the attention. Well I know my mil was hoping for someone to make some rude comment Bc even before the surgery she was very rude about it. But it back fired on her and everyone was praising my lose and my decision. I could tell she was mad.

Well two weeks later we have my sons bday party at a local arcade. They had pizza and cake. I ate a healthy lunch before we left for the party. My mil once again announced in front of my sons friends and their parents that I wasn't eating Bc I had surgery. I was pissed. Then when I was serving cake to everyone a little while my sil says "I'm sure you are regretting your stupid surgery now. You know you want cake!" At that point I was done with both of them. I told her I was very happy with my "stupid surgery", I have no regrets, and I have no desire to eat sweets so if she could kindly keep her negativity to herself I would appreciate it. As soon as I left the room they both started talking crap about me to my ex mil who is like my mom. She shut them both down very quickly. Even she wasn't excited about my surgery but she has always been supportive.

So now we are at Christmas, my husbands family is talking to me about my weight loss and how good I'm looking and asking how things are going. Both my mil and sil kept interrupting making rude comments, bringing up how I had a bad day recently so it wasn't worth it, how the holidays have to suck for me Bc I can't eat like a normal person, and how they can't see a difference in my weight (I've gone down 3 sizes), and so on. I finally pulled them to the side and told them they need to cut the negative, rude, unnneeded comments. I told them they seem very jealous and hopeful for me to fail and i didn't appreciate that from people who are claiming to be family. If it continues we would no longer take part in their family gatherings.

So my mil turns around and tells my husband I was being a b***h (sorry for the language) and threatening to disown them. My husband was clueless to most of these comments and incidents other than the thanksgiving incident. And on thanksgiving he told her she was rude and disrespectful and it needed to stop. I filled him in on everything else and was furious. He called her and told her I had every right to say what I said and to be mad. And he stood by me completely.

I'm sure this will not be the end of it. But it's getting to the point I just don't want to be around them. Or I am gonna turn into that mega b***h she claimed I am. Anyone else deal with this kinda stuff from family or friends?

What a bunch of jerks !!! ????????????????

[MrsKarenC2008 622]

@@Miss Mac I love you.

"Let the little dogs bark".

Classic.

I would have said " let the little b*tches bark" ... ahahaaaaaaaaaaaa :)

You're right Babbs ... Classic !!!

[4MRB4PHOTO 3,900]

Tell your MIL that you are "barking" at her because you are acting like a "bitch" (female dog).

There are people in life who are can be toxic to your well being (your MIL & SIL or are they "MOL & SOL" (Mother/Sister Out Laws)). You need to distance yourself a little from them if they treat you this way.

Kudos to your husband for sticking up for you. I hope they back off from these comments and you can have a decent relationship with those 2 going forwards.