Dating awkwardness

[cstew21 10]

Am I the only person that just doesn't tell the person I am interested in about my surgery? I had the lapband for five years and just had it revised to bypass. Dating has always been awkward and i dread dinner dates. I hate being stared at by the guy and asked why I am eating so slow or why I didn't eat so much. Or even worse when I had the band the constant running I the bathroom to "cough", up food. I was embarrassed of the weight I had gained that caused me to get the band in the first place and even more embarrassed when I still wasn't as skinny as I thought I should be.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I don't tell dates about surgery. I didn't start dating until after I was at goal, so could eat a bit more. Nobody has ever stared or asked. I am chatty, I order small portions and am a master at shoving food around on my plate so I am not sure they really notice. In fact the only thing I have been told is how much they like the conversation.

But, how about suggesting another activity besides a meal? Usually men are happy to let their date suggest something. I have gone on hikes, city walks, beach walks, target shooting at a gunrange or quarry, museum, live music, paddling/canoeing, movies, haunted house...but the weirdest was going to Ikea - ha! That was surprisingly entertaining and we skipped the crappy food there.

[Bill Good 34]

I always wondered if I should tell or not about my surgery, would it be a little dishonest not mentioning about what you had? I haven't dated still waiting on when I move out of Ohio before I put any effort in dating.

[cstew21 10]

I have been open about it once things get "serious" and it's a few months in but it hasn't been something I have volunteered from the get go. My ex and I were together for three years and he was very aware of my band and supportive of what I needed to do

[Sleeve_Sistah85 193]

I don't tell dates about surgery. I didn't start dating until after I was at goal, so could eat a bit more. Nobody has ever stared or asked. I am chatty, I order small portions and am a master at shoving food around on my plate so I am not sure they really notice. In fact the only thing I have been told is how much they like the conversation.

But, how about suggesting another activity besides a meal? Usually men are happy to let their date suggest something. I have gone on hikes, city walks, beach walks, target shooting at a gunrange or quarry, museum, live music, paddling/canoeing, movies, haunted house...but the weirdest was going to Ikea - ha! That was surprisingly entertaining and we skipped the crappy food there.

Lovely advice

[TheRealMeIsHere! 863]

It's something I am proud of, so mention it when weight loss or something comes up in the conversation, whether a date or an acquaintance.

Proud of the weight loss

Proud that I've maintained

Proud of the hard work it takes and still takes

Proud that I roll out of bed and immediately workout, seven days a week, with few exceptions

I don't go into details, unless the person shows interest. Just a simple, "I had a sleeve gastrectomy to lose weight". Or if someone comments on how tiny I am, or maybe they feel bad about their weight, I let them know that I understand as I was almost 300 pounds and leave it there, unless they ask for more.

I guess I'm more of love me or leave me type of person. At my age, I don't pussyfoot around the facts, I say things as they are in all respects. This way, I can be FULLY me and that is a VERY liberating feeling! I kind of wish I could have always had the confidence to be ME.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I am not ashamed and if someone asked, I would tell. I don't discuss my dental work, my college GPA (which was very high BTW!), the family ranch in Montana. ..they aren't secrets but none of it is central to meeting a new person. If things progress, I do . mention the weight loss and plastic surgery.

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

@@cstew21

I started dating at about 3 months out. I could eat enough at restaurants not to raise alarm I haven't told and now since I'm bored with the relationship I am really happy I didn't tell. Like @@CowgirlJane I am talkative and entertaining so it isn't an issue that I don't eat a lot.

[GibbsGirl 483]

I never considered it till now, I never want to mislead anyone but I also have a heart condition that I'm not sure when to mention either. I have basically a year till my son graduates. So my excuse of not dating till then is coming to an end. I love the idea of doing something other than eating on a date but when is it too soon or too late to discuss let's say having a pacemaker?