I'm really desperate....

[sksh 31]

We are here to help the best we can.

I recommend you get the book Eat it Up! It's available on Amazon and was written by a therapist who works with bariatric surgery patients. It won't take the place of a good therapist but I think you may find it helpful.

Another good book is When food is Love.

Oh I actually just went on amazon days ago and bought some books~~

I will for sure consider your suggestions too *_*

Thank you ♥

[sksh 31]

Another option to OA is Smart Recovery. I only just ran across this program and really liked the concept. It is a completely different approach to addiction than the better known 12 step programs. It works with self empowerment strategies to deal with addictions and get on with your life. It does not portray addiction as a disease or you as a "victim" of that disease, but rather provides exercises to take control of your life and change your behavior. And isn't that what we were all told we had to do in order to be successful with our WLS?

Their website is smartrecovery.org and besides face to face meetings, they provide online meetings, an online forum, printed literature and a handbook. I am by no means an expert, since I only just discovered this last week and just downloaded the handbook onto my iPad. But it is the first addiction therapy program I've ever found that actually appeals to me. I am all about taking responsibility for your actions and being proactive in improving what you feel you need to improve in your life. I talked to a friend of mine that is a therapist and she said it is a good program IF you follow through, just like anything else. She does recommend it for people than may not find the spirituality of the 12 step programs appealing. The online resources makes it nice if you can't make it to meetings.

The site looks awesome~~

I liked that its face to face meeting and there is a Handbook also~~~

​I bookmarked the site and for sure I will give it a try~~

again thank you so much for you all♥

​I really appreciate the support♥♥

[laguerr13 993]

Your battle with the weight is successful but you need to fight a new battle " your mind" it is absolutely imperative to your success to work on your psyche, the mind and body are at its best when both are healthy, and neither one can function to its full potential unless met by the other, how do I know? I work in mental health, and I've come a long way but I constantly find myself doing small things that make me aware that I have work to do, glancing in the mirror and not recognizing myself for several seconds, wearing loser clothing or or my old clothes because I fear not fitting into my new size, and the one I'm most concerned about is the reaction I have when a woman compliments me or flirts with me, it's that of anger( internally) why??? Well I'm working on it, success has been measured in many ways for me, quality of life, mobility, less pain, and more years to be with my family, but I always try to work on my mental well being as well as my body, I think as long as strive to better my mindset as I do my health it is an extra insurance to being able to stay that way..... Just don't give up, and stay away from the dreaded "complacency" monster

[sksh 31]

Your battle with the weight is successful but you need to fight a new battle " your mind" it is absolutely imperative to your success to work on your psyche, the mind and body are at its best when both are healthy, and neither one can function to its full potential unless met by the other, how do I know? I work in mental health, and I've come a long way but I constantly find myself doing small things that make me aware that I have work to do, glancing in the mirror and not recognizing myself for several seconds, wearing loser clothing or or my old clothes because I fear not fitting into my new size, and the one I'm most concerned about is the reaction I have when a woman compliments me or flirts with me, it's that of anger( internally) why??? Well I'm working on it, success has been measured in many ways for me, quality of life, mobility, less pain, and more years to be with my family, but I always try to work on my mental well being as well as my body, I think as long as strive to better my mindset as I do my health it is an extra insurance to being able to stay that way..... Just don't give up, and stay away from the dreaded "complacency" monster

You are right my battle now is really with my mind!!

all the things you mentioned I truly understand them because I go thro them everyday!!

The compliments .. still until this moment I get confused when someone compliment me!! in my mind I'm like "why"?

My mind is still makes me see the old me in the mirror!! and when I see the new me I become so afraid that I will get used to it then I will loss it all someday!!!

it's a real battle as you said! and I'm trying my best to win it!

Thank you ,, thank you so much for your words I 100% appropriate every single word♥

[laguerr13 993]

That's how I roll...... Lol, but seriously I had to learn the difference between "IMAGE" & "PERSPECTIVE", and it's helping, look it up it is very helpful once you learn the definition and use of these words use perspective to change the image, it's not easy........ But your doing awesome anyway

[sksh 31]

That's how I roll...... Lol, but seriously I had to learn the difference between "IMAGE" & "PERSPECTIVE", and it's helping, look it up it is very helpful once you learn the definition and use of these words use perspective to change the image, it's not easy........ But your doing awesome anyway

I will look it up for sure~~~

Thank you so much for sharing :")

I really appreciate sharing all the info you have~~

it dose really help... a lot.

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

Try to find one thing a day to do/focus on. Either a habit you want to change or something positive and healthy to do.

One positive thing you can do is journal.

For today: write out a list of at least three things for which you are grateful.

Do you have any hobbies?

[AvaFern 3,516]

So I feel like I am the jerk right now, but have you hit goal? Your BMI is listed as being at 26.2, which is not unhealthy or even low weight. You said that you were eating less than 1000 calories, which as long as you're not consistently eating like 500-600, if you're in the losing phase this isn't going to hurt you. In Blue Zones, areas of the world where people regularly live to be over 100, they often eat a much more calorie restricted diet than we do. Research shows that lower calories than the FDA suggests is not unhealthy as long as your diet is balanced. If your blood tests show that your Vitamin levels are normal, which you said they do, then your nutrition is likely fine.

Every single one of us is worried about regaining weight. It is the people who stop caring that get fat again. While I would agree that it would be helpful to talk to someone about your concerns, nutritionally you aren't underweight, your calories if they are just a bit less than 1000 aren't going to hurt you at this point, and your blood values are good. So on the bright side, you are healthy. Why not keep that desperate feeling and use it to push you toward your goals and toward maintenance? There is this book called The Four Hour Body and one thing I remember reading in it is that people who are unsuccessful at losing weight just haven't been hurt badly enough to be sufficiently motivated. Again, this isn't a nice thing to say, but it's true. The fear of gaining weight, of getting fat again can all be used in a positive way to get you to the size you want to be and to keep you there.

Everyday I wake up and I weigh myself on three scales (long story behind why). I write each scale number down. I put everything I eat into MyFitness Pal. I don't ever eat sweets. I walk into my giant closet with my clothes that are a size 0,2,4, and while there is a lot of joy there, there is also that little catch in the back of my throat, that quick second of terror about what will happen if I get fat again. I use it to my advantage. When I see cake, I think of that fear and I don't eat it. When I see other junk food I think about that terror I feel when I get on the scale in the morning after a bad day of eating and I don't eat it. I eat a very normal diet, usually about 1200-1400 calories a day which has kept me in maintenance, but I stay in maintenance not because I am always happy and life is grand but because I know the misery of being fat and I am terrified of going back to that place.

Life doesn't always have to be sunshine and daisies- thunderstorms have their purpose too...if you can't get over your current feelings, then use them to get you what you want.

Also, quick suggestion...when you get up and feel dizzy it's possibly orthostatic hypotension. It's a drop in blood pressure when you stand up or sit up from a laying position. Ask your doctor to test you for it. Literally they take your BP while you are laying down and then again as soon as you stand up. If it has dropped, then they can fix that problem, which potentially doesn't have to be related to your diet. Also, you are not going to stretch your stomach. 80% of it is gone. Think of it like a balloon that you cut 80% out of. Sure, it might stretch a little bit, but it is never, ever going back to anywhere close to its old size, so if you're a rational person everytime you start to worry about that think..."ok, well it is not possible to go back to anything close to the old size, so worrying about this is irrational and a waste of my time". That thought process has always worked for me. If I can isolate the flaw in my thinking, I can talk myself past it. Perhaps give that a try.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Many of us have had some emotional ups and downs related to massive weight loss. What concerns me the most about what you have shared is the extremes. It seems like you believe you are ill and undernourished but don't really have evidence of that. We all worry about regain, but most of us don't turn that into eating anguish, refusing to socialize etc. You mention that you are scared of overeating but have bad cravings for chocolate etc. -that can really backfire big time - starving yourself interspersed with overeating crappy food. That by itself can make you feel terrible.

I don't think you need to find a counselor who specializes in WLS, but rather a good counselor with expertise in addictions and perhaps even obsessive-compulsive thinking. Be open to the possibility of medications.

A good nutritionist can help-especially give you peace of mind, but honestly you probably know what you need to do. Treat food like a life saving medication. Plan, choose wisely, weigh/ measure and track. Get at least 80grams of Protein, drink tons of Water and the rest starts to fall in place.

BTW, in the spring of 2014, I went through a bad time and couldn't eat. I didn't feel guilt or fear of eating, I just couldn't. I lost 10# in about 3weeks, and I was already at goal. I forced myself to start eating again and slowed down the losing until I finally got back to normal. I bruised easily, ribs on my back protruded, guys thought I looked hot but anybody that cared about me (including my docs) saw me going downhill fast. It took effort to regain my health - both physical and emotional - but you too can do this.

[sksh 31]

Try to find one thing a day to do/focus on. Either a habit you want to change or something positive and healthy to do.

One positive thing you can do is journal.

For today: write out a list of at least three things for which you are grateful.

Do you have any hobbies?

this is what makes everything harder..

the free time I have

now I'm unemployed and ... I don't know.

I do now try to create a new hobbies to make myself busy ^^

and I might join language course since I like learning languages~~

[sksh 31]

So I feel like I am the jerk right now, but have you hit goal? Your BMI is listed as being at 26.2, which is not unhealthy or even low weight. You said that you were eating less than 1000 calories, which as long as you're not consistently eating like 500-600, if you're in the losing phase this isn't going to hurt you. In Blue Zones, areas of the world where people regularly live to be over 100, they often eat a much more calorie restricted diet than we do. Research shows that lower calories than the FDA suggests is not unhealthy as long as your diet is balanced. If your blood tests show that your Vitamin levels are normal, which you said they do, then your nutrition is likely fine.

Every single one of us is worried about regaining weight. It is the people who stop caring that get fat again. While I would agree that it would be helpful to talk to someone about your concerns, nutritionally you aren't underweight, your calories if they are just a bit less than 1000 aren't going to hurt you at this point, and your blood values are good. So on the bright side, you are healthy. Why not keep that desperate feeling and use it to push you toward your goals and toward maintenance? There is this book called The Four Hour Body and one thing I remember reading in it is that people who are unsuccessful at losing weight just haven't been hurt badly enough to be sufficiently motivated. Again, this isn't a nice thing to say, but it's true. The fear of gaining weight, of getting fat again can all be used in a positive way to get you to the size you want to be and to keep you there.

Everyday I wake up and I weigh myself on three scales (long story behind why). I write each scale number down. I put everything I eat into MyFitness Pal. I don't ever eat sweets. I walk into my giant closet with my clothes that are a size 0,2,4, and while there is a lot of joy there, there is also that little catch in the back of my throat, that quick second of terror about what will happen if I get fat again. I use it to my advantage. When I see cake, I think of that fear and I don't eat it. When I see other junk food I think about that terror I feel when I get on the scale in the morning after a bad day of eating and I don't eat it. I eat a very normal diet, usually about 1200-1400 calories a day which has kept me in maintenance, but I stay in maintenance not because I am always happy and life is grand but because I know the misery of being fat and I am terrified of going back to that place.

Life doesn't always have to be sunshine and daisies- thunderstorms have their purpose too...if you can't get over your current feelings, then use them to get you what you want.

Also, quick suggestion...when you get up and feel dizzy it's possibly orthostatic hypotension. It's a drop in blood pressure when you stand up or sit up from a laying position. Ask your doctor to test you for it. Literally they take your BP while you are laying down and then again as soon as you stand up. If it has dropped, then they can fix that problem, which potentially doesn't have to be related to your diet. Also, you are not going to stretch your stomach. 80% of it is gone. Think of it like a balloon that you cut 80% out of. Sure, it might stretch a little bit, but it is never, ever going back to anywhere close to its old size, so if you're a rational person everytime you start to worry about that think..."ok, well it is not possible to go back to anything close to the old size, so worrying about this is irrational and a waste of my time". That thought process has always worked for me. If I can isolate the flaw in my thinking, I can talk myself past it. Perhaps give that a try.

You are not jerk don't say that♥

I'm so close to my goal now around 15kg away..

​which I know that it's blessing and I'm grateful to what I achieved so far~~

You know.. I think you are right!! I mean since I feel "guilty" means I will keep watching which means I won't gain weight!

it's just..sometimes....makes me so tired..

"there is also that little catch in the back of my throat, that quick second of terror about what will happen if I get fat again. I use it to my advantage. When I see cake, I think of that fear and I don't eat it. When I see other junk food I think about that terror I feel when I get on the scale in the morning after"

You know what.. I'm gonna do the same

I will take this factor that been making me tired and scared and use it to achieve my goals and to maintain it!!

I will try to change this feeling from crying to motivating!

I feel like your words kinda open up my eyes for other things...

thank you .. really thank you.

I will do try to do this .. and If I found someone to talk too.. I might as well talk too~

[sksh 31]

Many of us have had some emotional ups and downs related to massive weight loss. What concerns me the most about what you have shared is the extremes. It seems like you believe you are ill and undernourished but don't really have evidence of that. We all worry about regain, but most of us don't turn that into eating anguish, refusing to socialize etc. You mention that you are scared of overeating but have bad cravings for chocolate etc. -that can really backfire big time - starving yourself interspersed with overeating crappy food. That by itself can make you feel terrible.

I don't think you need to find a counselor who specializes in WLS, but rather a good counselor with expertise in addictions and perhaps even obsessive-compulsive thinking. Be open to the possibility of medications.

A good nutritionist can help-especially give you peace of mind, but honestly you probably know what you need to do. Treat food like a life saving medication. Plan, choose wisely, weigh/ measure and track. Get at least 80grams of Protein, drink tons of Water and the rest starts to fall in place.

BTW, in the spring of 2014, I went through a bad time and couldn't eat. I didn't feel guilt or fear of eating, I just couldn't. I lost 10# in about 3weeks, and I was already at goal. I forced myself to start eating again and slowed down the losing until I finally got back to normal. I bruised easily, ribs on my back protruded, guys thought I looked hot but anybody that cared about me (including my docs) saw me going downhill fast. It took effort to regain my health - both physical and emotional - but you too can do this.

are you okay now

you eat normally now right?

I hope you are much better now♥

I do crave chocolate and sweets

but to be honest with you I'm happy that I'm still on the road..I mean I measure my food I eat Protein and I watch what I eat and I don't eat junk anymore .. yeah I treat myself between time to time .. but it's all with Protein Bars or diet chocolate .. I don't eat normal chocolate bars anymore .. but still sometimes I get way to crazy with it.

But I will try to change this .. I'll never give up on this .. I already had to give up on my dreams for this and I'm not ready to loss it!!!

and use it for me and to help me change myself..

thank you :")♥

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Yes, I am better than okay now! Thanks for asking. Just keep working at it.

[sksh 31]

Yes, I am better than okay now! Thanks for asking. Just keep working at it.

I'm glad to hear that♥

[smash83 5]

Are you taking a Multivitamin everyday? My doctor stressed to me the importance of doing that for the rest of your life and getting 90 grams of Protein every day

Edited January 7, 2016 by smash83