I'm really desperate....

[sksh 31]

Hello everyone,

I'm not sure if this belong in here or not..

But I really do need some support..

Most people around me don't understand the surgery and what we go through so they really don't understand what I'm going through.

Its been almost a year for my surgery (11 Jan 2015).

I'm on diet since I did the surgery and all...

There have been an ups and downs but I'm trying my best to survive...

I lost weight .. losing weight become harder this days and I'll tell you why in a min..!!!

my problem is ....

I look at myself at the mirror and feel like this won't last...!!

I'm so afraid that I will lose all of this someday..

all I can think of is .. what if some day I gain weight again .. what if I return to my old weight....

All I can think of is pretty and beautiful thing don't last.

and because of this I start to have so much guilt and I cry myself out whenever I eat anything..and I only eat healthy food.< /span>

I'm afraid I will stretch my stomach again .. I'm so scared it will expand ..

Every meal turns into a hug guilt and I start asking myself "why did I eat this and that now my stomach will expand.."

I stopped going out with my friends and even visiting people because I'm afraid I'll eat and I will ended up expanding my stomach..

I locked myself in my house......

I start to eat less than 1000 calorie a day and I do exercise..

I start to feel dizzy when I stand up .. every time..

I don't loss weight like before .. my process become slower and slower and my body now is craving all kinds of food especially sweets and chocolate..!!!

I'm tired.

I'm really tired of over thinking..tired of having to cry after every meal..

I'm really tired but it's out of my hands .. I don't want my stomach to expand I don't want to get to the old weight

I'm tired of being dizzy most of the day and being afraid I will faint someday.. I do a blood testing for Vitamins and all every 3 months .. everything is okay but I still feel dizzy .. and there have been some days when I actually faint!!

If anyone went through this please tell me how can you get over this?

I want to eat a meal without crying and feeling bad...

I want to eat my treat without crying and turn my day to bad day!!!

I tried to stop treating myself but I couldn't .... "I use healthy/diet chocolate and sweet only"

I'm sorry this is a long post but I'm really desperate.

[Proud2BMe 1,016]

Losing weight will always be harder the closer you come to your goal weight. Just looking at your BMI tells me that you are just barely overweight and are almost normal weight. So you will have to struggle to lose the remaining pounds. Don't worry. It's something we all have to face. Just know that you have come a very far way and even if you dont lose another pound you are still a great success.

It's okay to treat yourself. Remember the motto: "Everything In Moderation". You can treat yourself from time to time. Just make sure it's not an everyday thing and that you aren't over-indulging when you do treat yourself.

Now you should feel no guilt at all about eating normal, healthy food. If this trend continues of feeling that all food is bad then I really think you should talk to a professional. Because if not checked this could turn into an eating disorder.

Your dizziness may be from not eating enough calories. It's normal to experience it during the pre-op diet and on the liquid diet but after a year this could indicate that you are not eating enough. Not eating enough calories will actually slow your metabolism down.

Edited December 23, 2015 by Proud2BMe

[sksh 31]

Losing weight will always be harder the closer you come to your goal weight. Just looking at your BMI tells me that you are just barely overweight and are almost normal weight. So you will have to struggle to lose the remaining pounds. Don't worry. It's something we all have to face. Just know that you have come a very far way and even if you dont lose another pound you are still a great success.

It's okay to treat yourself. Remember the motto: "Everything In Moderation". You can treat yourself from time to time. Just make sure it's not an everyday thing and that you aren't over-indulging when you do treat yourself.

Now you should feel no guilt at all about eating normal, healthy food. If this trend continues of feeling that all food is bad then I really think you should talk to a professional. Because if not checked this could turn into an eating disorder.

Your dizziness may be from not eating enough calories. It's normal to experience it during the pre-op diet and on the liquid diet but after a year this could indicate that you are not eating enough. Not eating enough calories will actually slow your metabolism down.

First I would like to say thank you for replying for my post~

I understand its harder to loss weight when I'm closer to my goal

and I'm fine with it ... I already lost a lot that I'm happy with.

I do think it's even harder with me not eating enough and I understand it may slow my metabolism down.

It's just the guilt after eating that makes me ... tired

I know I'm eating healthy and it's good for me and my body I guess that's why my blood tests are always good... but what makes me feel guilty is the quantity of the food .. I always feel like I eat a lot!!! I got to the point that now I don't know what is the right quantity that I should eat!!!

again thank you replying the post I really do appreciate it.

[Yaberhoo 358]

I think you may want to speak with a professional about the emotional issues you have connected to your weight. Not eating enough is dangerous at any time, but especially after being sleeved. It is not uncommon for people to swap addictions after weight loss surgery and it sounds like you may have done that. Your new addiction is focused so strongly on gaining weight that you are walking the border of anorexia. That is not a tight rope walk that you want to fall off. In fact, not eating enough WILL damage your metabolism to the point that you cannot lose more or stablize. Not eating enough will throw you into starvation mode and your body will hoard every calorie you do ingest.

Please please think about seeing a professional before you cause serious damage to your health.

[sksh 31]

I think you may want to speak with a professional about the emotional issues you have connected to your weight. Not eating enough is dangerous at any time, but especially after being sleeved. It is not uncommon for people to swap addictions after weight loss surgery and it sounds like you may have done that. Your new addiction is focused so strongly on gaining weight that you are walking the border of anorexia. That is not a tight rope walk that you want to fall off. In fact, not eating enough WILL damage your metabolism to the point that you cannot lose more or stablize. Not eating enough will throw you into starvation mode and your body will hoard every calorie you do ingest.

Please please think about seeing a professional before you cause serious damage to your health.

Thank you for your reply~~~

problem is I'm still hungry and I crave food!!

I'm aware of that I may damage my metabolism and health..

I think I really should talk to a professional about this.

Thank you again~~~*hearts*

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

I am really concerned about you based on what you wrote. Please call your NUT first thing tomorrow and make an appointment. I would also highly recommend you make an appointment as soon as possible with a therapist. See if you can get in to see the therapist who cleared you for surgery or see if they can refer you to someone who is experienced with working with weight loss surgery patients.

The fact that you consider yourself on a diet and are restricting calories is a major red flag. Also, your emotional turmoil although understandable is not healthy.

You deserve to be healthy, happy, joyous, and free. Please let the professionals who have the experience help you.

We are here to listen, but we can't take the place of the professionals.

In the meantime, please make sure you are getting in all of your fluids and Protein.

Keep us posted on how you are doing.

[Yaberhoo 358]

Surgery isn't a guarantee that you will no longer be hungry or never hungry again. I still have cravings and I have hunger. My hunger isn't the same as what it was before surgery. What I have found in the short weeks since my surgery is I have one bite of that craving and realize it doesn't taste as good as I expected. Then I don't want more. I had a craving for a DQ Blizzard. I ordered a mini, took 3 bites and gave the rest to my mom. Craving gone.

Cravings and hunger happen. You just have to learn how to use this surgery tool to incorporate it into life. It's not a diet, it's life. There is no cheating, it's just good or bad food choices and that it totally under your control.

[sksh 31]

I am really concerned about you based on what you wrote. Please call your NUT first thing tomorrow and make an appointment. I would also highly recommend you make an appointment as soon as possible with a therapist. See if you can get in to see the therapist who cleared you for surgery or see if they can refer you to someone who is experienced with working with weight loss surgery patients.

The fact that you consider yourself on a diet and are restricting calories is a major red flag. Also, your emotional turmoil although understandable is not healthy.

You deserve to be healthy, happy, joyous, and fee. Please let the professionals who have the experience help you.

We are here to listen, but we can't take the place of the professionals.

In the meantime, please make sure you are getting in all of your fluids and Protein.

Keep us posted on how you are doing.

Thank you for replying~~~

"You deserve to be healthy, happy, joyous"

Thank you..made me tear..

I do want to be happy about what I achieved..

I don't want to worry all the time and being afraid about losing everything...

I don't know if there is a therapist that will understand this kind of worries!! I tried to talk to some dietitians..but nothing..they all say the same line they save from years of working ... idk....!!

but I will search more and talk to my doctor..

Thank you..really thank you.

[sksh 31]

Surgery isn't a guarantee that you will no longer be hungry or never hungry again. I still have cravings and I have hunger. My hunger isn't the same as what it was before surgery. What I have found in the short weeks since my surgery is I have one bite of that craving and realize it doesn't taste as good as I expected. Then I don't want more. I had a craving for a DQ Blizzard. I ordered a mini, took 3 bites and gave the rest to my mom. Craving gone.

Cravings and hunger happen. You just have to learn how to use this surgery tool to incorporate it into life. It's not a diet, it's life. There is no cheating, it's just good or bad food choices and that it totally under your control.

I really do understand that this surgery is not solution!!

its a tool to help me..

and its almost on me to make it work or not...

I'm doing my best to make it work..

I hope I will~~~

Thank you so much

[Kindle 8,667]

You need to find a therapist that specializes in bariatrics and eating disorders. addiction transfer is very common and well known post WLS, but you can also transfer one eating disorder (overeating, binging, carboholic, etc) for another (bulemia, afraid to eat, guilt over eating, etc). A therapist familiar with WLS complications should be able to help. Ask your surgeon (or better yet, his staff) for recommendations. Or talk to a local weightloss support group for suggestions.

You sought out a specialist to perform the physical part (surgery). Now you just need to seek a specialist to help with the mental part. The first cant work without the second. And yes, you DO deserve to be happy, no matter what your weight.

Edited December 23, 2015 by Kindle

[sksh 31]

You need to find a therapist that specializes in bariatrics and eating disorders. addiction transfer is very common and well known post WLS, but you can also transfer one eating disorder (overeating, binging, carboholic, etc) for another (bulemia, afraid to eat, guilt over eating, etc). A therapist familiar with WLS complications should be able to help. Ask your surgeon (or better yet, his staff) for recommendations. Or talk to a local weightloss support group for suggestions.

You sought out a specialist to perform the physical part (surgery). Now you just need to seek a specialist to help with the mental part. The first cant work without the second. And yes, you DO deserve to be happy, no matter what your weight.

I tried searching

but since the surgery in my country is kinda a new thing

and when someone have they tend to hide the fact that they had it must specialist don't have that big knowledge of the surgery ...

I once been told by a specialist that she don't know that much about the surgery and it's better to ask my surgeon :/

but I didn't think of asking my doctor staff I think I will give it a try!! they actually may know someone.

I tried to talk to my surgeon but he only believe in test results!! he saw that my blood test is fine and said that you are okay there is nothing wrong and it's something you need to fix it your self :/

Thank you so much ..

I really don't know how to thank you all

You may all don't know it but your words helped a lot it really did

thank you ... thank you so much.

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

What country are you in?

I hope your surgeon's office can help you find someone.

You also might want to check into Overeater's Anonymous. There are meetings all over the world as well as online and by phone. The website is www.oa.org.

[sksh 31]

What country are you in?

I hope your surgeon's office can help you find someone.

You also might want to check into Overeater's Anonymous. There are meetings all over the world as well as online and by phone. The website is www.oa.org.

Saudi Arabia.

the surgery been here for a long time but people used to do it and hide it

it's only this early years that the surgery been more known and ppl can tell when others do it...

there is a lot of good surgeons in here

but therapist that specializes in bariatrics..!! O have to look more~~

I will for sure check the website

thank you a lot your comments your words all of you helps me a lot

It really dose

and really thankful for you all

T_T

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

We are here to help the best we can.

I recommend you get the book Eat it Up! It's available on Amazon and was written by a therapist who works with bariatric surgery patients. It won't take the place of a good therapist but I think you may find it helpful.

Another good book is When food is Love.

[Kindle 8,667]

Another option to OA is Smart Recovery. I only just ran across this program and really liked the concept. It is a completely different approach to addiction than the better known 12 step programs. It works with self empowerment strategies to deal with addictions and get on with your life. It does not portray addiction as a disease or you as a "victim" of that disease, but rather provides exercises to take control of your life and change your behavior. And isn't that what we were all told we had to do in order to be successful with our WLS?

Their website is smartrecovery.org and besides face to face meetings, they provide online meetings, an online forum, printed literature and a handbook. I am by no means an expert, since I only just discovered this last week and just downloaded the handbook onto my iPad. But it is the first addiction therapy program I've ever found that actually appeals to me. I am all about taking responsibility for your actions and being proactive in improving what you feel you need to improve in your life. I talked to a friend of mine that is a therapist and she said it is a good program IF you follow through, just like anything else. She does recommend it for people than may not find the spirituality of the 12 step programs appealing. The online resources makes it nice if you can't make it to meetings.