How to tell family/friends?

[Ginger1217 5]

I'm wondering if it's just me but I can't get myself to tell my family and friends I was sleeved December 17. Only a few people know but everyone is starting to asking questions. My two grown sons are starting to think I have a serious health issue. That makes me feel bad. I don't want them to worry. I can do about anything but keeping weight off is one thing I can't. It does make me feel ashamed of myself that I don't have the will power to do this on my own. --- Did anyone else feel this way and if so how did you handle it??? Thanks for any input.

[Dub 9,922]

I told my close family, close friends and my employees and boss.

I felt that it was less than honest to try to hide the matter.

Everybody has their reasonings for handling it the way they want.

I'm just a low drama kind of guy. Coming up with cover stories and hiding the truth just wasn't something that I wanted to do. I had the surgery to improve my health and get quick relief from back pain. I don't need anything from anyone to help me with this. I'm not waiting for their approval nor does the occasional negative comment about WLS bother me in the least.

I'm gonna keep losing and feel better every single day.

The rest of that stuff is just Water off a ducks back.

Edited December 22, 2015 by Dub

[pr_pitbullgrl 1,039]

just tell your family. i wouldn't go shouting it to the world right away until you are comfortable with it. its really no one's business anyways. if they ask you how you're losing the weight you can debate telling them or not. or just tell them you changed your life and that's how you're losing the weight.

but i would share with family in case you have any health issues they need to know your history.

[McButterpants 2,846]

This is such a personal topic and you will get many different responses.

Here's my story - I only told 5 people initially…my husband, son, parents and best friend. Since surgery, two years ago, I've told my another friend, hairdresser (due to hair loss) and my financial planner (weird, I know, he asked what I was doing to lose weight and I told him - he used to be a minister, so maybe it was a guilt think LOL).

I didn't not tell people because I'm ashamed, I'm just a private person and I live in a small town. I knew if I told someone that it would be shared with many many people by the end of the day. I didn't want that. when people asked about my weight loss (including my brothers and their family), I said I changed my diet, got some things straightened out with my doctor and I'm working really hard at the gym.

You need to do what's right for you - what YOU feel comfortable with, whatever that is.

[Cape Crooner 589]

I only told a few family members, but one of them was my 92 year old mother who seems to keep telling other people.

I am 11 weeks out, down 75 lbs overall and people are calling me "skinny". They ask me how I did it and I tell them that I'd given up on fad diets and entered a medical weight loss program. I figure l'm not lying per se. And if my mothers loose lips end up reaching a friend I'll be okay.

That said, we're starting social dining and I think I'm going to offend my fellow chefs when I stop eating after 4 ounces of the gourmet meal they prepared for me.

Christmas Eve meal at neighbors, stay tuned!

Edited December 23, 2015 by Cape Crooner

[mokt 58]

It's a personal choice to disclose matters related to your health. I only told my husband and sister, whom I knew I would get their support from regarding my surgery. I didn't tell colleagues, my boss, extended family or friends. I know them well enough to know I wouldn't get their support so I didn't want any negative feedback regarding my decision. I also am a very private person and I didn't want to be discussing my surgery all the time, which I knew would happen if I disclosed. I am 6 weeks out today and I am very glad with my decision. People have definitely started noticing my weight loss and when they ask what I am doing to lose weight, I say I am watching what I eat and exercising more, which is true.

I don't feel ashamed or like I am lying or keeping secrets, as my health is my business.

Ultimately, you have to do what makes you most comfortable in terms of sharing your surgery with family and friends. Do what feels right to you

All the best!

[Jewel961 11]

HI! I'm new to this forum and a recent patient. Tomorrow marks my 1 week day! I'm pretty much on board with most here. The only people I told pre surgery was my husband and our 4 children. I feel that it is no ones business but mine. I work in a school with a lot of very nice people who unfortunately like to talk. That's not how I am. I am very private and don't like talking about others.

What I learned in my presurgery meetings was that a lot of people feel the same way. What they suggested was to tell anyone who asks was that you have made lifestyle changes. Think about it. We did. We are changing the way we eat, the way we exercise and the way we carry ourselves. I think that if somebody asks me point blank whether or not I've had surgery, I would have to admit it. I can't lie... But I don't believe I will be volunteering that info any time soon. What I have said to my coworkers is that I had a "procedure" done, which I did. Whatever you decide, you have to be comfortable with the decision. Best of luck!

Edited December 23, 2015 by Jewel961

[Justin Curtis 78]

i go in on the 30th and Ive told all my friends and family. Everyone has been so supportive of my decision. My mom is getting sleeved on January 4th and she's the complete opposite. Only my brother and I know about it. I guess its all comes down to personal choice. I am very open so i have no problem telling anyone.

[jennaggie 43]

I'm going through the debate in my head too. I'm so excited to be scheduled for surgery in February and I'm damn proud I've lost almost 50 lbs on my own. Sometimes I want to talk to everyone about it and sometimes I don't want to even talk to my husband about it. I lost about 100 lbs on my own a few years back and some people, that I thought were friends, hated that I would mention my diet or work out plan or that my clothes were loose. I don't know if it was jealousy or I annoyed them or they really didn't care. So this time around I will be very careful who I give a lot of info to but I think I'll also answer truthfully when someone asks. Maybe they need it and they need to hear from someones first account. That's how I started my journey. Someone was honest with me. Do what feels right to you. If it's no ones business than leave it at that. It's your health and your kid you're working on. Best of luck to you!

[DaisyAmy 561]

I'll tell pretty much anyone who flat out asks, or who I feel like telling. Other people, I just thank them for their compliments. Now, I just had my surgery last week, so my weight loss so far has been through diet and exercise. We will see what I decide in the future.

[Ginger1217 5]

I'll tell pretty much anyone who flat out asks, or who I feel like telling. Other people, I just thank them for their compliments. Now, I just had my surgery last week, so my weight loss so far has been through diet and exercise. We will see what I decide in the future.