Frustration and anger

[JamieLogical 8,722]

Jeez, who are these people??

Sounds to me like you need to hang out with a nicer group of people. These guys sound like a bunch of jerks.

I was going to say the exact same thing! Why the heck are you surrounding yourself with such a**holes?

[The Candidate 3,215]

In the end just know that you will have the last word on the subject, without ever having to say a word.

It will be broadcast, far and wide, by your new healthy body and renewed life energy. Until then, just remember that this journey is yours and no one else's. No matter what the naysayers throw at you, they can never touch your resolve. They can never break you.

If you have to give them any due, let it be sympathy. People who feel the need to belittle others only do so to hide their own shortcomings. Don't validate them with your response. You know how much you're changing and that's all that matters.

Stay strong and best wishes!

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

@@retzlpa - I feel ya'. Most of these people need to simply be told to mind their business. Last I checked someone's weight was no one's business but their own. I say this whether a person decides to have WLS or stay fat. Just keep doing you and ignore the idiots.

[gowalking 10,790]

I might as well add my two cents. Even when I was morbidly obese and wide open to lots of horrific comments, most people just ignored me..and that was fine as far as I was concerned. I wanted to be invisible.

I can't even imagine being subjected to the comments the OP said were directed at him. I must agree with most of the folks on this thread...you need new friends.

[enjoythetime 1,457]

You know what the craziest part of all this is? The same people that are saying these things to you now, will be the same people who will tell you you've lost too much weight and now you're unhealthy and you need to eat a Big Mac and Fries.....It's simple, people like this make themselves feel better by putting others down because no matter what your weight they're intimidated by you for some other reason they're just using the weight as their reason because they don't have the guts to come out and tell you what their real problem with you is. If people paid attention to their own life as much as they do to others!!!!

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

I might as well add my two cents. Even when I was morbidly obese and wide open to lots of horrific comments, most people just ignored me..and that was fine as far as I was concerned. I wanted to be invisible.

I can't even imagine being subjected to the comments the OP said were directed at him. I must agree with most of the folks on this thread...you need new friends.

I was the polar opposite. I lived life. I dressed fashionably and had fun. I also took no crap from anyone so I rarely got comments like that. Thankfully the people in my life never dared speak to me like that. You need friends who love you no matter what size you are.

[Klolojadie 46]

@@retzlpa Who do these people think they are?! You don't deserve to be treated any differently than anyone, EVER. These awful people deserve to hear it when they're being inappropriate. You can only take so much, and you don't need to take it. You stay thankful that you're on the path that you are I've never had that experience, I would never keep silent about it, unacceptable!

[lisacaron 5,075]

OK so I have to add my 2 cents in here and a story for you all as well. First let me tell you that I am me. Fat, skinny, pleasantly plump...that's me. I personally like my curves more than I liked being super skinny. As I lose weight I am not in a race with anyone or myself. It comes off gradually and thankfully I haven't not gained more than 5 pounds back and forth over the last few years. I have stayed down more than up and I am very happy with this given all that has gone on these last few years in my life, I don't "focus" on weight loss so when it happens and I am healthy I am more than happy.

That said...about 3 weeks ago I went in for a surgical procedure. A "simple" carpal tunnel release. The Anesthesiologist came in to discuss his part in my procedure. He was the first Dr. in my room that day as the nurses were prepping me, setting up the IV and administering the prophylactic antibiotic. He was short and to the point which is fine with me, however...when he described the "twilight" sleep he would administer and then asked if I had questions, I said I sure do. I do not want to be awake in any sense while having this surgery. I don't want to see, hear or smell anyone or anything in that operating room. I want to go in and come out without knowing a thing. To which he responds that to have a general anesthetic would involve "more work" when I asked exactly what he meant by that, he responded that he doesn't wish to "get into it" with me. Excuse me? What does that mean? You don't want to "get into that" with me?

He turns to me and says well you are BIG and he holds his arms out to his sides as far as they can go.

Now let me tell you....slim he was not. So for my part I simply reminded him of that fact and the fact that in this instance he is here working for me, and he just lost his position. He looked dumbfounded....and I dismissed him by telling him he could leave my room. I think the nurses were about to have heart failure that I took such a stance with this Dr. who turned out to be one of the chief Anesthesiologists. Well when my surgeon and her assistant entered the room I explained that I would NOT have this person administer the anesthetic during my surgery, and they could cancel it and I would find another surgeon or she could replace him with someone else.

She was not so shocked as impressed that I would not just be subject to ridicule by such a person. I will not tolerate such behavior from anyone, especailly a professional that is there to "care" for me. This showed complete lack of respect and care and I was probably the ONLY person to put him in his place. So it's not just women or nasty people, it's fat shaming and it must stop!

[Pinkgirl1234 761]

Love it!!!

[Elode 8,093]

Tell'em to F off! Seriously just say that. It will make you feel better! If I were with you I'd say it for you. Just give me your address and I'll go everywhere with you. I wish someone would!

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

OK so I have to add my 2 cents in here and a story for you all as well. First let me tell you that I am me. Fat, skinny, pleasantly plump...that's me. I personally like my curves more than I liked being super skinny. As I lose weight I am not in a race with anyone or myself. It comes off gradually and thankfully I haven't not gained more than 5 pounds back and forth over the last few years. I have stayed down more than up and I am very happy with this given all that has gone on these last few years in my life, I don't "focus" on weight loss so when it happens and I am healthy I am more than happy.

That said...about 3 weeks ago I went in for a surgical procedure. A "simple" carpal tunnel release. The Anesthesiologist came in to discuss his part in my procedure. He was the first Dr. in my room that day as the nurses were prepping me, setting up the IV and administering the prophylactic antibiotic. He was short and to the point which is fine with me, however...when he described the "twilight" sleep he would administer and then asked if I had questions, I said I sure do. I do not want to be awake in any sense while having this surgery. I don't want to see, hear or smell anyone or anything in that operating room. I want to go in and come out without knowing a thing. To which he responds that to have a general anesthetic would involve "more work" when I asked exactly what he meant by that, he responded that he doesn't wish to "get into it" with me. Excuse me? What does that mean? You don't want to "get into that" with me?

He turns to me and says well you are BIG and he holds his arms out to his sides as far as they can go.

Now let me tell you....slim he was not. So for my part I simply reminded him of that fact and the fact that in this instance he is here working for me, and he just lost his position. He looked dumbfounded....and I dismissed him by telling him he could leave my room. I think the nurses were about to have heart failure that I took such a stance with this Dr. who turned out to be one of the chief Anesthesiologists. Well when my surgeon and her assistant entered the room I explained that I would NOT have this person administer the anesthetic during my surgery, and they could cancel it and I would find another surgeon or she could replace him with someone else.

She was not so shocked as impressed that I would not just be subject to ridicule by such a person. I will not tolerate such behavior from anyone, especailly a professional that is there to "care" for me. This showed complete lack of respect and care and I was probably the ONLY person to put him in his place. So it's not just women or nasty people, it's fat shaming and it must stop!

Lisa, you are my hero.

[MsCyrus 90]

I am on my 7 day liquid pre-op and man are my hormones all over! I could snap at anyone. I am so sorry you had this happen. So I imagined someone saying something mean to me...as I am sure will happen....and I came up with some really good zingers!

You have support here!!

[Alex Brecher 10,515]

I am so sorry. I agree with Babbs – you’re hanging out with the wrong crowd! I know, just kidding, you can’t help which mean people happen to be at the restaurant with you or anything like that. People are amazingly rude, and what is almost as amazing is how much their comments can hurt us, even though we know darn well that anyone that rude is not worth listening too! (Besides the fact that they’re dead wrong – you can keep the weight off).

I always wonder…why do people feel the need to say nasty things? I think sometimes they’re honestly just ignorant; they are completely unable to see or figure out how hurtful they are. And they may think somehow they’re entitled to say those things.

Other times, I think people consciously or subconsciously hurt others because they themselves are hurting. Take the old ugly woman you spoke to, for example. She probably knows she’s old and ugly, and needed to feel superior to someone. You were handy!

I LOVE Pinkgirl1234’s point – at the rate you’re losing, you won’t hear comments like that much longer. Keep the weight off, and you’ll never hear them again. That’s good motivation!

[retzlpa 98]

Well, I put a person in his place after his last fat joke he will make to me! I blasted him not only with his insensitivity to heavy people, but to his general idiotic attitude about everything. He makes everything a stupid joke or comment. He's a narcissist and I told him so. The other people with us just sat there with jaws dropped. When I was done, he actually made the statement that since I'm acting like a girl, I must be on the rag. One of the other people, an older lady blew a gasket on him. He got up and left and on way out the door told the clerk to put his bill with mine. I refused to pay and told them to call the cops for theft. They didnt, and told me I should pay for upsetting him so much. I paid my bill and told the owner thanks for the years of coffee and conversation, but I would never be returning and I left. The owners husband called to try to smooth things over, but I explained to him my need for peace and supportive people in my life and that as long as his wife felt as she did, I did not need that non supportive attitude. I feel kind of free now

[Hannahb3997 60]

Geez these people don't deserve the time of day with how they treat you. I am currently pre-op and when the few family members that I told found out about it they would say stuff like

"Are you sure you'll be able to keep it off?" Or " Won't you miss being able to have this?" People need to have a better understanding of things before they open their mouths.