What do I tell my 10 yr old daughter?

Sooverit! · July 24, 2007

What do you tell your kids?? I feel right now that I don't want to tell her but she will know especially when I'm in the liquid stage. My sweet daughter is slightly overweight and bigger than the other girls but deals with it and is a very happy well adjusted kid. We try to restrict her junk food eating and encourage exercise. She knows I am unhappy being overweight but always feels she needs to tell me I'm perfect just the way I am and I am not fat! I am very worried about the message I am giving her when I get this procedure done and when I complain as well. She is vulnerable now to the "girls have to be skinny" syndrome..it starts as early as 3rd grade and sooner. ..should I wait till she's older? Do I have the time? I am fearful for my life here as my sister my same age died from sleep apnea and heart problem due to obesity last year. I am only a 36 BMI and at the age of 48 I know the scale is only headed upward no matter what I do on my own..

susansilver · July 24, 2007

I had the same issue with my 10 year old - even to the slightly overweight and bigger than the other girls (she is tall as well).

I thought and thought and finally I decided to tell her the truth. I told her that I had struggled with my weight ever since I was her age and younger, that in my time we didn't know enough about how important healthy eating and exercise is and now that I am older it is even harder for me. She saw me lose 60 lbs with WW, but I reminded her that I could not keep it off. I told here that this was my last option to come down to a healthy weight and get my health better so that I would be around for a long time. I told her that if she continued eating healthy and being active she would not have my problem and would not need surgery to deal with it when she was older.

She was great about it! Really seemed to understand and I have noticed that she is making better choices, talks about healthy eating and has slimmed down this summer.

Good luck whatever you choose to do. Remember that kids are smart!

Doxielover · July 24, 2007

I totally agree with Susan, tell her what you are doing and tell her why. Banding can be something you do with her support and encouragement. She can help keep you on the straight and narrow with your food choices and she will self educate at the same time.

I think you should be honest and let her know this is about you and your health and not her. I would not even mention her weight in the conversation at all.

I would invite her to go on walks with you and keep you motivated. Maybe you can even set up some sort of allowance system. She goes for a 1/2 hour walk with you 4 days a week she gets $5.00? Bring her to the grocery store with you and go through labels together with everything you bring into the house.

This is a perfect opportunity for you. She is at a great age to learn about health and nutrition, and lose weight with you (she does not need to know that) so she doesn't have to suffer later in life like we do.

Sooverit! · July 24, 2007

Hi Susan: Yes, my daughter is taller than the other girls also. I am glad to hear your daughter handled it so well and is getting in shape this summer. Wow what's your secret now that mine is getting older I see that she can sit at a computer for hours and likes to cozy up and read. She is in a few camps but doesn't get too much exercise in the summer. I think I can also tell my daughter about my fears related to her aunt. Thank you for the reply!

Sooverit! · July 24, 2007

Thank you DL that is a great idea about giving her an allowance. A walk is a great idea at night! My husband and I obesess over health and healthy foods and talk to her about it often. She just eats alot and always wants something sweet. She's picky too and won't eat Protein b fast etc. It's hard esp. when I can't control my own eating. I wish she didn't have this problem more than I do my own but we all do it really is genetic

Jachut · July 24, 2007

I told my kids the truth. They were 10 and 8 at the time, my daughter was only 2. I feel that its important to acknowledge the health dangers of obesity and the importance of doing something about it, its something you could never hide from your family - the change in me has been huge. Our entire lifestyle is healthier, the effects of my surgery have flowed onto my husband and kids etc etc.

Kat817 · July 24, 2007

Awesome advice!!! I read the question from the OP, and was just reading through the responses before offering an opinion, and you guys said what I was thinking!!!

I agree, ask for her help, and use her helping you to educate her! IT sounds like a win/win to me!!!

Good Luck on your banding surgery!!!

Kat