How Are You Handling Your Friends and Family and Weight Loss Surgery?

[Alex Brecher 10,512]

If you have family or friends who visit from out of town, or you visit them, during the holidays, this may be the first time you have seen them (or they have seen you!) since a major life event, whether it’s deciding to get surgery, getting surgery, or losing a ton of weight after surgery.

If you are seeing people for the first time since one of these events, how are you handling it? Are you telling them about surgery? (Or did you already tell them)? Are they mentioning your weight loss? Are they positive and encouraging, or negative? And how do you deal with it?

Post up your experiences, and maybe you’ll help other members who are struggling with the same thing!

[VDB 800]

If it is someone close, a good friend whom I have not seen for awhile, I just say "Thanks! I am shrinking!" If they ask how/why or how much, I just often say "Alot". If they really seem to want to know, I tell them I had a gastric bypass. If I don't know them well, I just say "Yep!" "Sure thing!". If they keep asking, I just say "I appreciate your interest". The exception is another very overweight person who genuinely wants to know how I lost so much weight, I will always share about the bypass. I find that humor gets me out every time I don't want to share anything: "yes, little tiny guy now!"

[Niki15 198]

I ran into a friend I have not seen on years I said hi he had to do a double take .He said he was not sure it was me so he did not approch me first lol .. It feels weird as my brain is not caught up yet with my 94 pound loss .. I tell people I diet and work out if they ask .. If it is a very close friend they know zi had the surgery.. So far all positive comments..

[wannaBthinsoon 1,634]

I will see all family over the holidays. This is the family that cautioned me to not have the surgery because it "doesn't work" or because I will "die" on the operating table. Well...I totally survived, with no issues, other than losing about 85 pounds (almost). Everyone was very interested in what I ate, or didn't eat at Thanksgiving. I think they're over it now... I do have a jealousy thing going on with my older sister, who told my Mom that she was on a "diet" so she can be thinner than me at Christmas. lol

[Djmohr 6,965]

I have run into a few previous coworkers in the last couple of months. I find unless I am literally standing with my hubby, people don't even recognize me all.

When they realize it is me there is a period of shock and usually followed by head shaking like they cannot believe it is me.

Then they will ask how I did it. I honestly do not care who knows about my having bypass surgery. When I look at groups of people it is shocking to me how many in each group are obese or morbidly obese. I figure if I tell my story, maybe one or two might be so interested that they follow suit.

When I tell my story I make sure they understand that having WLS requires a huge commitment to diet, exercise and a completely different mindset.

It really does help them to understand it is not as simple as I have surgery and lose massive weight and it's easy. Yet, when they see someone like me continuing to meet my goals everyday it will hopefully inspire others in the same situation to do something about it before it is too late.

[jane13 2,256]

most of my local family has seen me often enough to not ask. I do get asked a lot at work. I work in a large industrial environment and don't see all of the other 2500 or so regularly. That's when the questions get asked. I share my story.

[IncredibleShrinkingMan 437]

Most frequent remarks:

- "are you sure this is healthy?"

- "you can't possibly be eating enough"

- "sure you must have already reached your goal"

- "how much have you spent on new clothes?"

- "are you sure this was a good idea?"

- "have you been dating again?"

[VDB 800]

Most frequent remarks:

- "are you sure this is healthy?"

- "you can't possibly be eating enough"

- "sure you must have already reached your goal"

- "how much have you spent on new clothes?"

- "are you sure this was a good idea?"

- "have you been dating again?"

Yes, Sleevy! I am still 50+ pounds overweight and my friends are saying "Surely you are not going to lose anymore!" I know this is because all they have ever known is the round, happy fat guy and don't want to lose him.... they will see I am still here!

[mngreeneyes 674]

My family that I will see at Christmas have been great and they all saw me at Thanksgiving just a week after surgery. The event that I am most interested to see how it goes is my oldest nephew's wedding in February. I have only told my brother and my second nephew. I don't know who else they mentioned it to, but I specifically asked them not to tell my SIL. She is not the nicest person on the best of days and she has major hang ups about weight and has no problems sharing them with everyone. (She also is a size 2 after 4 C-sections!) For her weight loss is simply calories in calories out and anyone who is overweight is not putting enough effort in. I have been overweight the entire time I've known her. I still will be overweight in February, but I should be noticably smaller and the only clothes I intend to pay full price for in the next 6 months or so is the FABULOUS dress I plan to wear for the wedding! I don't know yet what that dress will look like, but I have the entire month of January to shop! I know she will be vicious, but I think I am ready for it and have learned many good lines from everybody here!

pam

[bikrchk 1,313]

The first year, while I was still medically obese\overweight, I started getting a lot of "you need to stop losing now" comments and a lot of sideways glances\comments about how little I was eating. Now that I'm past the 2 year mark, healthy and still maintaining a 90 pound loss, there's none of that, just "You still look great" compliments. I think it takes others as long to get over the body dismorphia as it does for us! Give people time to get used to the new you!

[Essence46 493]

Honestly, It really depends on the family/friend and my relationship with them. One of the good things is I work out a lot now (always have really) so people assume that's how I am losing it. Since I am a slow loser, the weight loss hasn't been too drastic.

[skinnyrita 188]

I have seen a couple of co workers and clients who had a Huge reaction to my 70 + lb weight loss. I am always surprised by this as my head hasn't quite caught up with my loss. My sister, who I think is quite critical of me privately, always asks for numbers and pictures ( because she doesn't believe how quickly the progress happened), but seeing is believing.

She's coming over for Christmas Eve and I haven't seen her since August, so it could be an interesting encounter with the additional weight loss.

The people who are not relatives are usually very complimentary in noticing my weight loss, but family can be challenging. I just plan to stick with my eating and exercising plan, and I am hoping that I meet my goal within a year. Even if I don't, this is simply the best decision I have made and it has literally changed my life for the better. Let the haters hate. I will still be happy with my decision to have VSG⛄️⛄️⛄️⛄️⛄️⛄️⛄️⛄️⛄️⛄️⛄️⛄️⛄️⛄️⛄️⛄️⛄️⛄️⛄️⛄️⛄️⛄️⛄️⛄️⛄️⛄️⛄️⛄️⛄️⛄️⛄️⛄️⛄️⛄️⛄️⛄️⛄️⛄️⛄️⛄️⛄️⛄️⛄️