I feel like such a failure!

[musicalmomma 1]

OK...I'll keep this as short as possible...

I am supposed to get my first fill today, but it may not happen because if it needs to be done under fluro (as the doc suspects) I will have to wait...

Anyway...I lost a little weight after surgery, then gained it back. I'm the same weight I was at surgery on June 1st...it's still 32 pounds less then when I started my journey...but I feel so discouraged. I can't seem to get my head around eating less. I have VERY little restriction...I feel hungry almost all the time...I still LOVE ice cream...my BIG downfall. I am getting so worried that I won't make this work. I KNOW that I have to work the band...I KNOW I have to say NO to ice cream and the like...I know I have to do my part and that the band is not a magic wand. I just wish it were a little easier. I pray once I get my fill, I truly will feel full and will start to lose...but now, I feel hungry, and discouraged. I'm beginning to regret not having the bypass instead...

Anyone else in this band limbo?? Anyone else gotten through it and have some helpful hints?

[SmarTpantz10 0]

My darling, I understand EXACTLY what you are going through. I have no restriction either (fill appt 8/3/07) and am RAVENOUS after all the deprivation to get to this point. I was panicing, so I just spoke w/ a counselor in my dr's ofc who has a band and she told me that this time b/f the 1st fill is abt healing and practicing the new behaviors (not drinking w/ meals, small bites, chewing, etc), NOT losing weight.

SOOOOOOOOOO, once we have restriction and SIMPLY CAN'T engage in our old eating behaviors the weight will start coming off. That said, pls try to find a more healthful alternative to the ice cream. A popcicle has far less calories and is a serving on a stick so you don't overdo it. My sister swears that that the Lite N' Fit yogurts when put in the freezer are delicious, so if it's the texture that you are hankering for, that is one thing to try.

Let's use this time to find lower calorie alternatives to our faves. If you send me a msg, I will forward to you a recipe for a Protein shake that I made up during one of my desperate pre-op liquid days.

Hope that this helps,

Cheryl

[TheNewMe1964 0]

Keep your head up!

You will lose, and you will feel more restriction after your fill. I too have felt discouraged that I had little restriction and seemed to be hungry all the time, but I was determined to follow the rules the Doctor gave me and icecream was no where in the Can Do's! When I was really hungry, I ate fruit and healthy Snacks....if you eat the good stuff it will stay with you longer, and don't forget....drink plenty of Water.

Now after my fill it's hard to eat the way I did prior....things get stuck very easily so it's important to eat slowly and chew very well. I've started losing again and it's feeling really good.

Please don't feel like a failure. This is a whole new process and we all must learn to do things differently. Examine your feelings about your disappointment, is this something you can put your finger on? If you mentally throw in the towel it will be a bumpy ride. It is very early in the journey and things will improve for you!

[Nina_S 1]

MusicalMomma,

I think for the most part, we are all struggling with eating and the lack of restriction/hunger - this is a new lifestyle for me at least. You are not alone. I'd love to say that have made to the other side but I can't. What has helped me is focusing on losing the weight. I still get small meals in a day but I try (not always succeeding) to make better choices. You can probably still have ice cream, have you tried any of the Blue Bunny flavors? Blue Bunny offers sugar- and fat-free flavors and you can find them at most (if not all Wal-Marts).

http://www.bluebunny.com/main.aspx?topcategory=3

Just think moderation. Most importantly, don't get discouraged!! This is usually when I am ready to give up. I remember when I saw that I had gained 2lbs I was so dissapointed, thinking that I could have just ate what & how much I wanted to go and gain.

Hang in there Momma things will get better!! They have to, I'm banking on it. I need this band to work.

Nina

[huntersmom 0]

I have only lost four pounds since surgery but probably gained it all back yesterday. It was my 40th birthday and I was not going to limit what I was going to eat. I do not weigh myself at home. I have to go to a heart and wellness class every other Tuesday and I get weighed there. I know if I weighed myself every day I would get discouraged. I too love ice cream. I now buy skinny cow ice cream sandwiches and allow myself one a day. They are 140 calories so I really do not feel too bad about eating them. Remember weight loss is going to come off very slowly. I was told about 3 years before I lose 90 pounds. So I am going to have my ups and downs too. I have had my first fill but I have no restriction and can and do eat everything. My next fill in on August 20th. Maybe then I will have restriction and begin to feel better and eat less. So don't feel like a failure. We are all in this together and we have each other to lean on if we need to. You are not alone at all.

[wombat712 2]

Musicalmomma - I understand how you feel!! I get my first fill tomorrow and I can't wait! I have been sooooo hungry this last week trying to stay in my portion limits. I know it's not about losing weight but healing but doggone I want to lose some weight!! Especially if I'm going to suffer :0)

You should not feel like a failure!! This is why they call this time "Bandster Hell" because we're hungry, frustrated, and can eat just about anything! We will get used to our new tummies but it's going to take some time 'till we get this all down :0)

Good luck and let us know how your fill goes!

[mvr 0]

MusicalM Don't get too down about it. My Doc says this time till they get the fill right is hard for most and it's very common to put on weight. I am starving and have no restriction too,so it's just like the old days trying to diet and not succeeding right?? It felt bad then too. Now I am an ice cream FREAK so I really do know how you feel. If I had to choose one food for the rest of my life it would be ice cream. To satisfy that urge I blend frozen fruit (mango, banana) and low/no fat yogurt in one of those ice crushing powerful blenders and it really is yum. It's not triple choc but not too bad!!! Keep talking to us, the more we close off with our stuff the harder it is

[o2bthin 0]

I'm definitely in limbo....that place that's neither heaven nor hell right? I'm not losing, despite my best efforts. My fill will be on 8/1 and I can't wait. I'm going back to Dr. Ortiz, even though it's a hike (3 hrs to Seattle, 3 hr flight to San Diego, bus, trolley, taxi, overnight, trolley, bus, 3 hr flight back to Seattle and 3 hr drive home) because I want an aggressive first fill in my 10cc band. It BETTER work too!

I have been trying to stick to low fat, Protein first, greens second, fruits third and my carbs last. I've had ice cream too, believe me. It's not like we can't have it after our fill either, so like Cheryl is saying, you have to get good foods in and get the good habits too.

I'm discouraged too, not losing anything, and eating less and dieting and depriving myself......and I have done my share of griping. I finally decided that I be losing much until my band is working.

Try not to sabotage your success though. Try drinking more, and keeping yourself busy. That's been hard for me. What do I do the 28+ hours a week I am not shopping for food, talking about food, preparing food or eating food?? LOL

[musicalmomma 1]

Thank you all sooooo much for the encouragement, advice, and support.

At my appt today, my surgeon saw the disappointment on my face before I said a word...he said "What's wrong? No eye contact today?" I said "I've had a bad day and I gained weight". He looked at my chart and said with a shrug "WOW, that's not bad at all!" Then he explained how most people maintain or gain a little until they get the proper restriction. He pulled out a chart and showed me the "zone" I will progressively achieve. He also told me that the 4 days I spent in the car will also cause me to retain Water and that he bet those extra pounds would come off quickly with some extra Water and exercise. He's such a supportive man!

GOOD NEWS...He found my port!!!!!!! I am now the proud owner of 1.0 cc in my 4cc band. He told me that next month, there will only be about .5 cc in there because of the tiny bit of air in the band now causes a slight reaction of some sort and decreases the first fill by about .5cc over the course of a couple of weeks.

More good news...I am NOT giving up ice cream, but I AM going to limit my intake to no more than twice a week AND limit it to a single serving of a lower cal version of ice cream (skinny cow or WW). I'll try some of your suggestions of yogurt and frozen fruit...I'll add some davinci sugar free choc Syrup and it should hit the sweet frozen spot!

You all are so wonderful to me...thank you again for your wisdom and support.

[Suzzzie. 3]

Glad you got your fill!!

I had lost weight after surgery - and gained back all but 2 pounds when I went in for my fill on Friday. The NP was happy with that. I never expected to be cured overnight. The only way to make me stop eating is to not be hungry - or to get full quickly - which THANKFULLY the fill is giving me! I can't get another fill for 4 weeks, and I'm cool with that. RIght now I definatly have restriction. I know the first fill can be sneaky and only give good restrictino for a few days, and I'm cool with that if it happens.

Don't be so hard on yourself, and hang in there, This is a journey. Enjoy the scenery.

[marknjen 0]

reading all this really helped me. Thank you everyone. I was feeling so discouraged-I am 2 months post op and only lost 18 pounds and gained 2 this past 2 weeks. It is good to be reminded that this is a process and it takes time! Thanks everyone

[vxyn1 0]

You Are Not A Failure!!!!!! You Just Have To Find Your Way Maybe You Should Try Light Ice Cream Or sugar free Ice Cream Or Even Sugar Free Water Ice. Dont Deny Your Self Just Adjust The Choices.

[shell850 0]

hi,

I'm in the same boat as you. I have had 3 fills now and I had gained 2 lbs back when I went to the Dr. last week he said we will keep filling till we get it right. He is only filling a little at a time. But I need help fast. All we can do is hang in there. WILL POWER!!!!!!!! I told the Dr. if I had will power I wouldn't have gotten the band. HA! HA! I think it will get better. Good Luck

[musicalmomma 1]

hi,

I'm in the same boat as you. I have had 3 fills now and I had gained 2 lbs back when I went to the Dr. last week he said we will keep filling till we get it right. He is only filling a little at a time. But I need help fast. All we can do is hang in there. WILL POWER!!!!!!!! I told the Dr. if I had will power I wouldn't have gotten the band. HA! HA! I think it will get better. Good Luck

Oh GOSH...I SO relate!!! I got my second fill today...I lost some weight since my last fill and it was like twisting the doc's arm to fill me! He said "You're doing great! Why do you feel you need a fill?" I said..."because I'm STARVING!" He then said that several of his patients diet until they reach their goal, then use the band as a maintainence tool. I said "NOT, me...I don't want to feel hungry!" He said "Fair enough, let's give you another fill!" I guess he wanted to be sure that I didn't have unreasonable expectations. He wants me to wait 5 weeks before the next one (that will be DH's 6 week post-op check too). I sure hope I have enough to get me through the next five weeks!!! Like you, I don't want to have to use my will power! I WANT restriction and to get the show on the road!!!!

OK, enough ranting. He's a great surgeon and VERY sensitive to his patients...I know he's just looking out for my best interest...I'm just an impatient little girl! :confused:

Hang in there Shell!

vxyn1 - I took your advice and switched to light and having MUCH less of it, but I do have it from time to time and it keeps me sane Thanks for your support