Never thought it would happen to me... (Post Opt Addiction)

[Comfy_Blue 285]

When I started my journey almost two years ago, I remember being told during my psych eval that it is very common for us sleevers to develop other addictions post-opt. Made sense to me, since food was my drug of choice and this "treatment" would severely limit my "habit" (ha ha).

However, I never thought I would develop a post-opt addiction because I'm against drinking (alcoholism runs in my family), smoking (my grandma died of lung cancer), gambling (brother is an addict) and excessive shopping (I love clothes, but I'm also very cheap) or a lot of the other common vices I saw around me.

I thought I was fine. Then, slowly and without me realizing it, I started becoming addicted to my job.

I have a special alert set on my phone just for work emails. It doesn't matter if I'm at church, in bed half asleep, having dinner with friends, on vacation, at the doctor's office, at a traffic light, whatever. If I hear that special alert, I'm clamoring for my phone. Almost all my lunches are working lunches. On the weekend, I will sit down at my computer for "a minute" to do something quick for work, and not realize several hours have gone by until I get hungry and/or need to pee.

My job also dominates most of my conversations. I've noticed it myself and find that when I try NOT to talk about work, it agitates me. So I take turns talking off different people's ear about my job. I get excited when someone I don't talk to regularly contacts me because I know that means I can talk about my job for a long time and not feel guilty because it's not like they have to listen to me everyday.

When I watch TV, I'm half paying attention because I'm either reading a work email, responding to a work email or making a document for my job.

Even though my Mom (who I'm extremely close with) has said several times that I seem consumed with my job, I didn't realize it was true until I had two panic attacks (one this morning, one last month). As I was driving home today sorting through my feelings, I remember my pre-opt psych eval. Now that I don't/can't binge eat, work is my new "comfort food". But like I used to do with food, I'm overdoing it.

All my self-esteem and sense of self worth has also become tied up into my job. When I do a great job at work, then I'm walking on sunshine. When things don't go as planned, then I'm miserable and feel worthless. If I find out I've been excluded from something social (ie: maybe some coworkers go to a happy hour) I feel devastated even though I have a good number of close friends and family I spend time with outside of work. I constantly compare myself to other more senior staff members and tell myself I'm a loser who didn't deserve my promotion. Even though I've worked at my current job with the same staff and boss for almost 7 years, every day I go in like I have something to prove. Most mornings, I'm there before my boss and even though I leave before the boss, I go home and work another 3 - 4 hours.

I plan to talk to my therapist, but I just thought I'd share. If anyone has thoughts and/or has been through something similar, would love to hear.

Thanks for reading/listening.

[Miss Mac 6,262]

That was me up until I had a stress and blood-pressure induced stroke that forced me into early retirement. Boy oh boy, I could not have cared less about that job after that. Hopefully you can get the advice you need to help you put your day into perspective. And you know what? Not a single person that I thought was my work friend or was trying to impress came to see me, call, send flowers or even an email.

I would like to hear later on that you have found a way to allow your bariatric surgery to improve your quality of life as well as your health. If you learn to unplug after work so that you can enjoy family, friends, and a worry-free sleep, you will have found the gift of "peace of mind". It is priceless. A job can really suck the joy out of your life and make you one-dimensional. I wish you good luck and good health. Hugs from Chicago.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Very good observation.

Work is like food -- we can't cold turkey it. So we have to learn balance and moderation and degrees.

You'll figure this out.

[bellabloom 2,467]

This kind of happened to me when I was being abused by my ex. I fell into work as a way of escaping my terrible home situation and as a way of feeling good about myself in spite of his insults. But it wasn't healthy for me to spend 14 hours a day at work, either.

I had to take a break from work eventually and though it was hard in my finances it helped me get to a better place emotionally. Oh, and I dumped my ex.

It's good your recognizing it. Try to balance out your coping mechanisms between a few different things so nothing has so much hold over your life. It's good to have balance and develop a wide range of healthy coping strategies.

[sebastian2015 23]

i want to scape from home but i have no where else to go. its boring without food. i used to eat when i was bored. im 6 days after op. i drink lots of Water. i have had dreams about food many times during the past few days.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

i want to scape from home but i have no where else to go. its boring without food. i used to eat when i was bored. im 6 days after op. i drink lots of Water. i have had dreams about food many times during the past few days.

And that's what many WLS patients have to confront and deal with -- that we used food incredibly inappropriately.

Having WLS doesn't "fix" this. Many people seek counseling or therapy to address and change how they interact with food. As the saying goes: They operate on our stomachs, not our heads.

Good luck to you.

[RaginCajun 177]

Well, with few exceptions, you can't 'work yourself' to death.

But you can certainly 'eat yourself' to death.

Seeing a therapist will help.

-RC-

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

I am so sorry to hear this.

If you haven't yet done so, you might want to see if you can talk to a therapist or counselor. You can see if the therapist who cleared you for surgery can see you or can recommend someone to you.

A good book I recommend quite frequently is called The One Life Solution by Dr. Henry Cloud. It addresses the issue of setting boundaries and finding balance between work and life.

You have come so far. You deserve to have a rich and full life. I hope you are able to find a way to experience life in the best possible way.