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Sometimes we just need to take a break from our health issues and daily aggravations and have a giggle. I came across this list today and it cracked me up.

Stupid School Excuses (from parents)

Misspellings have been left intact.

My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today. Please execute him.

Please exkuce Lisa for being absent she was sick and I had her shot

Dear school: please ecsc's John being absent on Jan 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also 33.

Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.

Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.

Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

Please excuse Ray Friday from school he has very loose vowels.

Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre, dyrea, direathe), the sh!ts.

Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre, dyrea, direathe), the sh!ts.

Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak.

Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.

I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because don't know what size she wear.

Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday we forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday we thought it was Sunday.

My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the marines.

Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.

Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.

Please excuse Brenda. She has been sick and under the doctor.

Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat ; her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either , sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.

from http://mistupid.com/people/page083.htmt.

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Lol love it. There's a similar one re insurance claims which is very funny too.

Thanks for sharing :)

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break from health issues- daily aggravations and have a giggle.

@@Miss Mac

too cute

break from health issues???

sometimes i need a break from all you guys :D

kidding - who loves ya baby ;)

kathy

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Very funny... I can tell you a true story which in today's political correctness would be frowned on but back in the 1970s not so much.

I'm Australian and I shared a flat in London with a friend who was and still is a nurse. She rang her work and said she wouldn't be in because she was in bed with a wog. In the UK a wog was a coloured person. In Australia a wog was a flu or cold.

Her work mates being English were horrified that she had the hide to call in that she was in bed with wog.... Very funny as she had a lot of explaining to do when she returned work... Australian slang gotta love it!

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Years ago, I went for a gynecology exam and while I was in the stirrups the Dr. (male) peeled a penny off the back of my thigh and said. I am sorry but this exam is worth more than a penny. I must have sat on the penny in the car and never knew it was stuck to my leg. I was so embarrassed.

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Thanks for sharing the funnies!

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      IMARC Group’s report titled “Alternative Sweeteners Market Report by Product Type (High Fructose Syrup, High-Intensity Sweeteners, Low-Intensity Sweeteners), Source (Natural, Synthetic), Application (Food, Beverages, and Others), and Region 2024-2032”. The global alternative sweeteners market size reached US$ 4.9 Billion in 2023. Looking forward, IMARC Group expects the market to reach US$ 7.0 Billion by 2032, exhibiting a growth rate (CAGR) of 4.05% during 2024-2032.
      Grab a sample PDF of this report: https://www.imarcgroup.com/alternative-sweeteners-market/requestsample
      Factors Affecting the Growth of the Alternative Sweeteners Industry:
      Health Consciousness: The increasing awareness among individuals about the health issues linked to high sugar consumption, such as obesity, diabetes, and cardiovascular diseases, is supporting the market growth. Consumers are becoming more health-conscious and seeking products that can provide sweetness without the negative health effects associated with sugar. This shift in consumer preferences is leading to a greater demand for low-calorie and natural sweeteners like stevia, monk fruit, and erythritol. These sweeteners offer the added benefit of having minimal impact on blood glucose levels, making them suitable for diabetic and health-conscious individuals.
      Technological Advancements: Innovations in the production and formulation of alternative sweeteners are impelling the market growth. Advancements in biotechnology and food science are leading to the development of high-intensity sweeteners with improved taste profiles and functional properties. Innovations in fermentation processes enhance the production efficiency and quality of natural sweeteners like stevia and monk fruit. These technological improvements are making alternative sweeteners more appealing to both manufacturers and consumers. Enhanced stability, solubility, and sweetness intensity allow these sweeteners to be used in a wide range of products, ranging from beverages to baked goods.
      Consumer Trends and Preferences: Evolving consumer trends and preferences are playing a significant role in driving the alternative sweeteners market. The growing demand for clean-label products, which are healthier and free from artificial ingredients, is offering a favorable market outlook. Consumers are increasingly seeking natural and plant-based sweeteners, aligning with broader trends toward plant-based diets and veganism. Besides this, there is an increase in the demand for low-calorie and sugar-free alternatives that support weight management and overall wellness. Food and beverage companies are responding to these trends by innovating and expanding their product lines to include options sweetened with alternative sweeteners, thereby catering to changing tastes and health concerns of modern consumers.
      Alternative Sweeteners Market Report Segmentation:
      By Product Type:
      High Fructose Syrup High-Intensity Sweeteners Low-Intensity Sweeteners High-intensity sweeteners represent the largest segment as they require only a fraction of the quantity to achieve the desired sweetness.
      By Source:
      Natural Synthetic On the basis of the source, the market has been bifurcated into natural and synthetic.
      By Application:
      Food Beverages Others Food accounts for the largest market share due to the rising utilization of sweeteners in a wide variety of food products.  
      Regional Insights:
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      Global Alternative Sweeteners Market Trends:
      Governing agencies and health organizations of several countries are implementing policies to reduce sugar consumption as they recognize its detrimental health impacts. Various regulatory bodies are approving alternative sweeteners for use, ensuring their safety and efficacy. These approvals provide food and beverage manufacturers with the confidence to incorporate alternative sweeteners into their products. Additionally, initiatives like sugar taxes in several countries are pushing companies to seek healthier alternatives to traditional sugar.   
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      Note: If you need specific information that is not currently within the scope of the report, we will provide it to you as a part of the customization.
      About Us
      IMARC Group is a leading market research company that offers management strategy and market research worldwide. We partner with clients in all sectors and regions to identify their highest-value opportunities, address their most critical challenges, and transform their businesses.
      IMARC Group’s information products include major market, scientific, economic and technological developments for business leaders in pharmaceutical, industrial, and high technology organizations. Market forecasts and industry analysis for biotechnology, advanced materials, pharmaceuticals, food and beverage, travel and tourism, nanotechnology and novel processing methods are at the top of the company’s expertise.
      Contact US
      IMARC Group
      134 N 4th St. Brooklyn, NY 11249, USA
      Email: sales@imarcgroup.com
      Tel No:(D) +91 120 433 0800
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