To Tell or Not to Tell?!?

[tallow2102 16]

I have not had surgery yet, I must first do 6 months with a nutritionist the 18th will be my 2nd visit. I have only told a few family members about my surgery plans, and after surgery I don't plan on telling people. I don't want to lie to ppl, but don't really feel it's their business. So my question is... when you do begin loosing weight what did you say? Or if you chose to tell people what was their reaction? Thanks in advance!!

[FrankyG 1,450]

I only told my family (husband/mother). It is nobody's business.

I told my work I was having abdominal surgery. Anyone got too nosy, I told them gallbladder removal (I already had this done years ago).

If anyone commented on my weight loss, I told them I was doing an intense diet/exercise program and that I was working with my doctor to get healthy. Because that is the truth.

Edited December 5, 2015 by FrankiesGirl

[centlove8 21]

Yeah, depending on what type of person you are. And if you do not care what anyone says about this surgery do as you please. However , if you wear your heart on your sleeve keep your business to yourself. I find that I have to ignore or tell people what they can kiss. Cause I didn't ask for anyone opinion or permission that shuts them down completely. Lol

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[annam1130 40]

I've been very open with people in my life regarding my surgery. Family, friends, coworkers and acquaintances. I'm not ashamed. I did my research, I have solid reasoning as to why I've chosen to have this surgery and honestly almost everyone had been insanely supportive. Those super close to me such as parents and grandparents are cautious at first but still very supportive. The only person who had said anything negative to me about it was (by their admission) angry about something else and attacking everything they could think of. (That person is no longer as active in my life.)

I truly feel having surgery is nothing to be ashamed of but can understand that others are more private than I am. A coworker hasn't told many people and doesn't want to. I'm not sure what she tells people but either way, do what you are most comfortable with. The people in your life may be more open and supportive of it than you think.

[tallow2102 16]

Thank you all for your comments!!! I finished my psych evaluation today!! One step closer!!! After the 18th I will only have 4 more months of nutrition and I'll be done!!Praying my insurance approves????????????

[bikrchk 1,313]

I tell for several reasons, some of them selfish, some not so much.

When folks know the story, I don't have to remember what I told them.

They don't think I've been "sick".

They don't compare their progress to mine and wonder why\feel like a failure when they don't achieve the same results I do with diet\exercise alone.

Some, who could benefit from this tool or know someone who can ask me for my experience and I get to mentor which is the best prescription for MY staying on track I could get!

For those who don't understand, I have the opportunity to educate about the disease and treatment of obesity. At this point in my life, I really don't give a rats A$$ about their opinion if it's bigoted or they're not on my side in the battle to recover and maintain my health. I'm happy to opened the door to the conversation. Not evereyone will always agree with us in all things and that's okay.

However, if you have thin skin or care what others think, you may want to keep it to yourself. No need to create more stress in your life. The truth is, you'll change your lifestyle as a result of the procedure. Portion Control, diet and exercise are the truth and perfectly valid answers! You'll just be omitting that you have a weapon of mass destruction helping you comply!

[ladee2279 29]

My husband is the only person that is aware of my decision and I will keep it that way as I I don't feel a need to announce my private health information to the masses.

[Cheeselife 68]

My husband and 2 good friends know, and obviously my children, though they are very good at keeping quiet! I may end up telling more people, but for now I don't want to be involved in their issues, guilt trips, and accusations. Most of my friends are naturally thin, they have no idea how much harder it is to lose 100lbs+ and wouldn't be able to relate in a way helpful to either of us.

My main motivation to tell would be so that I wouldn't feel I was lying to the few people in my life who are significantly overweight. Along with the obesity epidemic, there's a shame epidemic, that sense of "they can do it, but I can't, I'm a terrible person". Studies have shown that shame leads to weight gain, support (including positive things like beautiful plus sized clothing ranges and other things which make us feel accepted) leads to self acceptance, higher self-esteem, and the adoption of healthy lifestyle changes.

But for now I'm not telling, I just don't want other people to think they have a place in my decision-making process.

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[Rence 61]

I only told my Wife and Parents before Surgery, and then my Sisters a couple of weeks after. That was it for 3 or 4 months, and used to tell people that I was just on a Doctor monitored diet, which consisted of High Protein and Portion Control. I think most people bought into that, but when the weight really started coming off, people started to ask more questions. With my job I have to socialise quite a bit so I started to feel uncomfortable at not being completely honest so made the decision to tell anyone who asked the truth. I have to say I was prepared for negative comments and views but I have honestly not had one. All I have had is support and genuine interest from people.

[efishman 5]

I am so happy to see this topic. I too, only told a few that I was having surgery. I don't feel everyone needs to know. I mostly do not want to here any negative comments. I think it is going to be very difficult not telling the truth on how I lost weight so quickly.

I don't like people talking behind my back. I did it mainly for health reasons, but of course for looks too. My husband feels I should tell them that my doctor recommended it for many different health reasons and leave it at that. I had the sleeve done on 12/10 so I am a newbie.. Struggling on to tell or not to tell...