Help Me!!!!!! Im Freaking Out!!!!!!!!

[Hip 0]

I am getting banded on July 31st. I am REALLY freaking out in my head. I LOVE food. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE food. I HATE being fat..Im 5'6" and 330 and was up to 365 2 years ago. I am so afraid of having to be so aware of everything that goes in my mouth. I am going to miss going out to eat and enjoying delicous meals. I am just really freaking myself reading stories of people failing. I deal with stress and anxiety with food. I am so scared of dealing with my emotions without food. PLEASE HELP ME COME TO GRIPS WITH THIS LIFE CHANGE!!!!!!!!

What is PB by the way?

[Alexandra 55]

Hip, this is a serious hurdle that you have to come to grips with. The question is, do you love pigging out more than you hate being fat? That's the decision that has to be made.

You will still be able to love food--it's GORGING that you will not be able to handle. We all struggle with this. The blessing for me, though, is that it's not a decision YOU have to make every time using only your will power. This time, we have HELP putting the food down.

Are you ready to lose weight? Can you imagine what your life and body might be like without 100 extra pounds? (I know I couldn't, before.) Clearly you've reached a point where being this size is no longer the way you want to live, or you wouldn't be here. Now you have to figure out how to hang on to that decision, remember that where you ARE is not acceptable.

[TexasBecky 1]

Alexandra and Jack, I so appreciate your experience and wisdom. As I get closer and closer to my band date the biggest remaining fear is fear of failure. I look here for the encouragement and support that I need and to be reminded that I ultimately hold the key to changing my life forever. I'm reaching for the light!

[wen 1]

Hi Hip,

My personal experience has been that I enjoy dining out so so SO much more now. First of all, my self consciousness has eased with weight loss. Walking into a restaurant, being seated, it's a totally different experience. Now when people look at me, I think, "That's right. I'm hot. Enjoy the view." Soon I know I won't have to worry about fitting into a booth, and that will feel so good. I also savor and enjoy my food more. I know that I am going to have about six bites, so I make sure it's the best six bites on the plate. Before, my goal was to eat as much as possible to numb feelings and I never really tasted much. Now, I taste the food, and if it's not really good, I'm not eating it. Space is at a premium in my stomach, and not any old thing goes in there now. The one thing I miss is wine pairing with food, but it's a small price to pay for how much better I feel now. Best of luck to you, I don't think you'll regret it if you do what feels right for you.

Wen

[OregonHolly 0]

Well said Jack, eloquently said. I'm cutting and pasting your entry into my personal "help and encouragement" file to read during those difficult days; I've saved lots of excellent posts to read over and over. Yours was empowering.

[Hip 0]

Sometimes I just have to hear it I guess. Thank you so much for taking the time to post. I do not know anyone banded...just gastric and half of them gained weight back. Thanks for the support!!!!!!!

[paladin 0]

You know, the band would be much more successful if they could install a band on your brain at the same time.....at least that's what my wife told her surgeon. It's true. I don't believe that old habits are broken, they are just replaced with different habits. This will be a process for you that won't be magically fixed by a surgery. It takes work. Take baby steps and become a sponge to soak up all the info you can. Knowledge is power. You can and WILL be successful. Keep asking questions and remember: "If you always do what you've always done, then you'll always get what you've always got."

BTW, a PB is a productive burp. Here's a great link with many other abbreviations: http://www.lapbandtalk.com/f73/abbreviations-what-they-mean-7959/.

[Jachut 487]

I enjoy food more than I did before banding. I just dont gorge on it anymore.

Saturday, we went out shopping in the morning, deli, butcher, fresh vegetables, wine. I spent Saturday afternoon making the most divine bolognaise sauce. I really enjoyed it for dinner Saturday night - I even made the Pasta fresh. I had a teeny tiny bowl. It was fantastic, I had a long glass of really good wine, that I also enjoyed.

So nice. No problem. Previously, I would have done the cooking, eaten 2 huge bowls of the spaghetti, had 3 wines, and we would have polished off a block of chocolate whilst watching a movie.

I was every single bit as satisfied, but not regretful.

Banding has allowed me to explore and develop my passion for beautiful fresh organic ingredients, and cooking gourmet meals without being afrid of what it will do to me. I taste, I enjoy but I dont stuff myself. Its wonderful.

[sharon2u 0]

Between Friday and Saturday I almost talked myself out of this but today I feel a lot better The bariatric Group that will be doing my surgery said that they are not members or providers under my insurance and well according to my insurace in black and white yes they are the letter I got from the bariatric Group said I woul;d be responsible for what the insurance will not pay but according to my insurance as long as they are in my HMO paln and they all are that I will never see a claim and I will not have to pay out anything other than my co payment for the hospital well after reading that letter i just got depressed for I don't have 3500.00 so I have to wait until tomorrow to clear this all up and all I have been doing is crying and not eating

[Psyched2 0]

I think most of us who have dieted have obsessed over food at one point or another. My decision to get a lapband and not postpone this serious move anymore came when I was taking a steroid to help me with bone pain from cancer meds this year. The steroid caused my blood sugar to go from 110 to 303 in one month. It didn't go down during the following months after I was no longer on the drug. My grandmother and one of my aunts had to have their legs amputated due to diabetes, and with that vision in my mind I know I can't risk failure. The health risks of obesity are real. When tempted after you know you have eaten enough, just tell yourself you can have "it" tomorrow. That works far better than telling yourself "never. Good luck.

[Hip 0]

Thanks everyone..I REALLY needed this!!

I am on the pre-op liquid diet and went to my favorite resturaunt in Cape May, NJ....The Lobster House. My freinds and girlfreind all ate normal and I had onion Soup broth. I had a good time and was satisfied with that. I have a good feeling about this surery now and am much more excited. My family has a history of diabetes and while I am healthy...my last blood work showed a increase in my bodies output to process suger. The Doc said it was not a big deal but with my family history it was time to lose weight now before I get any health issues. I am motivated! Thanks again!!!!!!

[TexasBecky 1]

I enjoy food more than I did before banding. I just dont gorge on it anymore.

Saturday, we went out shopping in the morning, deli, butcher, fresh vegetables, wine. I spent Saturday afternoon making the most divine bolognaise sauce. I really enjoyed it for dinner Saturday night - I even made the Pasta fresh. I had a teeny tiny bowl. It was fantastic, I had a long glass of really good wine, that I also enjoyed.

So nice. No problem. Previously, I would have done the cooking, eaten 2 huge bowls of the spaghetti, had 3 wines, and we would have polished off a block of chocolate whilst watching a movie.

I was every single bit as satisfied, but not regretful.

Banding has allowed me to explore and develop my passion for beautiful fresh organic ingredients, and cooking gourmet meals without being afrid of what it will do to me. I taste, I enjoy but I dont stuff myself. Its wonderful.

Oh Jachut, you are what I want to be when I grow up. LOL! You seem to have such a healthy, balanced attitude about food now. I can't even imagine how good it must feel to be satisfied with a small portion of something delicious. Do you think the band has gotten you to this stage or is it just a dramatic change in your thinking, or is it both? My fear is that the band will change my physical capacity but that I wont be able to make the mental leap. I know you are a serious exerciser and I'm sure that helps, but what do you really think has made the biggest difference? Tell me your secret, please. Becky

[valzie 0]

I am not banded yet and I have read many of the threads up here. We cannot imagine going out to dinner and ordering an appetizer and only eating one or two things and taking the rest home. I am with you on that. The best thing you can do is go to support groups before and after surgery to help deal with the emotional issues. Going to talk to a psychologist might also be helpful.

Many people who have already been banded say that they enjoy food even more than before because they actually taste their food. Get togethers with friends and family become more social events rather than eating events. It may not be easy but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel-Go for it!

[reconciler 0]

Hi Hip,

I totally get it. I am a compulsive overeater and have literally tried everything, including injecting myself with Byetta, a diabetes med ( I don't have diabetes - yet). It was my weightloss doctor/internist who recommended I consider lapband surgery. I was very worried about my cravings, even with the band. But I decided to go ahead with the surgery which I had done last Tues., July 17, because it was clear that the band is a tremendous control tool. It helps keep me in control - in a very big way.

I think Valzie's suggestion to get some therapy is an excellent one. I talked to someone who had the band done a year ago and has been very successful with it. She feels that therapy is critical, at least in the first year, because the underlying compulsive eating order doesn't go away, but it's much easier to address the issues with a lapband.

Another thought which has helped me a lot: when I stopped smoking, I missed it terribly but I also loved the freedom I felt from not having to have a cigarette right after Breakfast and continue with my 2 pack habit throughout the day, not to worry that I was running out of cigarettes, not to think about I had to buy them before this event or that event. Overtime that freedom not to smoke became more important than anything else and now, if it were declared cigs didn't cause cancer, I wouldn't go back, that's how much I don't like it.

We can't give up food like cigarettes so the challenge is different. Right now, just 7 days post-op I'm still on liquids and somewhat bewildered how this is all going to work out, but I do feel a freedom from not having to compulsively stuff myself. When I stopped smoking I realized that if I even took a drag of a cigarette, I would be right back. So I never kidded myself.

I feel similarly about this surgery. I have to follow the rules or it won't work. If I deviate, I'm kidding myself. I am looking forward to solid food and basically eating healthy.

Best of luck - I know you'll make it.

[Hip 0]

reconciler, I am already feeling the freedom from not overeating. I am on the pre-op diet and I can tell you that I dont miss the uncomfortable overeating fullness which would make me not go biking, kayaking, fishing, or anything else I wanted to do because I was uncomfortable and bloated. Many nights of intimacy were lost do to a HUGE dinner at a restraunt...NOT ANY MORE!!!!! I am starting to embrace the freedom of feeling OK....and not bloated and full.

I never consisantly ate horrrible foods....more of a volume eater. This year I noticed I was eating foods that I never had before on a weekly basis. A little too much fast food....going for the big meals at resteraunts...all you can eat etc. I dont eat much red meat, Pasta, or bread so I wont miss them. I will miss PIZZA!!!!!! I think I can do this without a crazy amount of turmoil in my head. I hope.

Thanks again everyone!!!!!!!!!