I'm hearing I'm taking the easy way out from family and friends

[Protea 4]

After the responses I got from all of you I decided to share my fears with him. He actually said that this is as much of a journey to him as it is to me and that he would be honored to be included in all my appointments.

As far as telling the kids - so far I don't think I'm ready to give them all the details yet. They just know I'm going to go for a lot of tests and that might mean surgery. For now, that's good enough.

Colleagues at work - I will not be going into details there either. I don't believe that the corporate world is nurturing or caring so this will stay my secret ????

Thank you for sharing your hearts. I do believe that we all need support as this is a life changing event. We just have to be wise in what we say and with who we share it.

[reree6898 1,164]

So glad he's going to go on the journey with you and be there for you!

[FabAmy 4]

I told my husband I was scheduling an appointment with my doctor to see if I was a candidate for weight loss pathways. I was very careful in how I chose my words. Later, I included my mom and told her that my doctor referred me.

After my orientation, he started in on how I had to do the work to lose weight, and if I didn't exercise I would gain it back. The negativity was really building up. But, I told him that if I don't do this I am going to keep following the same pattern of losing and gaining ...losing and gaining...

I also repeated what the surgeon said about losing 8-12% of my excess weight versus 60-70%. I told him there were lots of steps both pre-op and post-op and to be successful I needed his support not his negativity. In fact, I told him his negativity right then made me want to go stuff my face and forget about how I felt. I told him I knew this is wrong and one it was something I would really be working on. I assured him this was not a quick fix and I was going to have to work to make changes, but this opportunity would make a big difference in the quality of my life and our life together.

That honest conversation has made all the difference. As I attend classes, he is supportive, positive and he asks how it's going.

My mom is the only other person who knows...she has worked with a couple of people who have lost over 100 with WLS and she knows how life changing it can be.

[jennaggie 43]

I feel so bad for those who's husbands don't support them . I started by bringing up the conversation as a "what if I did this?". Then we laid in bed together and watched a million YouTube videos about people that had done it, the procedure, and anything else related to it. At first I was a little offended by how supportive he was lol did he want me to lose weight? Was I not good enough for him? That was silly of me. He just really wants me to be happy and healthy. He's gone to the appointments with me and buys me healthy foods and stuff (I'm on a pre surgery diet before we schedule the surgery). Besides him I've told my best friend, sister, mom, and dad. Everyone is behind me and thinks it's a good idea. I went to a trainer and worked part time in a gym for a year (when I was in college with spare time and daddy's money) I lost 100 lbs on my own. Gained it all back plus 20 two years later. I won't pretend I'm not terrified of surgery. But I agree with everyone above. You have to do it for you. When I did lose the weight the first time I had just gotten a divorce and wanted to fix MY life. I still want to help MY life. Having someone who wants you to help your life too is just a perk, not a necessity. You do you!

[newmebithebypass 713]

My hubby is my best friend and is super supportive he and I had a talk today about my decision to switch from sleeve to bypass and he's still being awesome ???? about it in so lucky. I just don't know how to bring it up to his family they are kind against the idea of bypass

[muzical1 85]

This is the hardest thing I've ever done. Nothing easy about this. People don't realize that so don't let his thoughts and lack of information dissuade you. I kept my process to myself and a couple others.

[nilamji 22]

I told close family and a couple of friends. As people notice my weight loss and ask, I tell them I had surgery. The surgery is not an easy way out. I work hard every day following a new way of eating and exercise. The surgery helps me see progress and not get discouraged.

[gpmed 623]

Good questions to ask anyone accusing you of taking the easy way out:

Do you take any daily medicines? Oh, you have a chronic condition? Well isn't taking medicine taking the easy way out? Can't you just deal with your condition yourself?

Did you chase a boar down with a spear and cook it over an open fire last night for your dinner? Oh, you bought food from the grocery store and cooked it in your oven? Isn't that taking the easy way out?

We all know it's not easy, but even if it was, who cares? We all take the shortest, fastest route to work. Doing otherwise would be insane.

[Pinkgirl1234 761]

The only person i told was my sister and brother. I asked them not to say anything about it to anyone. My husband dosent even know i had the gastric bypass done on December 2nd. He was very against it when i told him about it. So i did it behind his back. I want to tell him. But im scared what he would think

On December 2nd i went in to have my gall bladder removed and had the bypass done all in one shot. My husband thinks i just had my gall bladder removed. Its hurting me inside that i cant share this journey with him

Dont tell him!

[rnsamantha 352]

The first time I mentioned weight loss surgery to my husband was when I went for a lapband consult about 2 years ago. He expressed that he felt I could lose the weight if I stuck to a diet and exercise program. So I worked with a personal trainer, did low carb and lost 50 lbs to get down to 200 lbs (still overweight)....and then I gained all back plus 30 more lbs over the next year. When I told him I was going to pursue gastric sleeve, he was a little concerned, but overall very supportive. I think seeing me make a concerted effort (one of many failed weight loss attempts) and simply ending up even heavier than before helped reinforce to him that I really could not do it on my own with any long term success. Now I'm 6 months post sleeve, down 105 lbs, and for the first time in my adult life an almost "normal" BMI of 25.5. As a side note, I'm also very happy I didn't get the band as when I went for my consultation this time around the general perception towards the band had really changed in terms of potential complications.

[Pinkgirl1234 761]

Lapbands should be stopped completely.