At 2 weeks post-op, my non VSG world shattered. I am trying to pick up the pieces...

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

@@Mom26 ... maybe this will be useful to you or not. It's just my story.

On August 18, 2014, I had VSG surgery. Easy recovery. Great surgeon. A month later I had gall bladder surgery. Again, easy recovery by my same excellent surgeon. Onward and upward.

Three weeks later my fabulous husband was diagnosed with cancer. Cut to the end of the movie -- mercifully, he is now in remission, and I'm now 12 pounds below my original weight loss goal and maintaining easily at 138 pounds. Life is good again for me, because life is possible again after losing 97 pounds.

So here's what worked for me during that nightmare. My Fitness Pal is an online app you can use to help you plan and track all your food. It tells you everything about food macronutrients -- how many calories and grams of carb, Protein, fat, sodium, Fiber -- you name it -- are in any food you could imagine.

As a control freak who was completely unable to control anything about my husband's cancer, except to support him the very best I could (which still didn't control much), I put all my worrying energy into controlling what I ate. Don't get me wrong -- I didn't starve myself or eat too little. I just focused probably overly much on learning about nutrition and portions.

I cannot tell you how much my obsession with that tool distracted me from my fears.

Everything you've ever heard about cancer being a family disease was certainly true for me. I had to give up planning for next week or next month. I had to learn to love every day, every hour, every moment. And we loved each other all the time and appreciated each other all the time.

Since then we've had some other blows -- this year he lost his oldest son and his father, and I lost my mother. Also, our beloved dog died unexpectedly.

But we have come through it all. And we still focus less on next year and more on right now, today. Because that is all any of us has.

[jane13 2,256]

@@VSGAnn2014 - that's an awesome story, thanks for sharing!

[Mom26 313]

@@VSGAnn2014

Thank you so much for your story. I'm trying like hell to focus on what I can control. And trying not to let my head go where the despair is. One day at a time. This nightmare is surreal.

[misswinnie 2]

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[Monique76 3]

Sorry to hear about your Son will keep you all in prayer.

Sent from my SM-N910P using Tapatalk

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

@@Mom26 ...

A couple more thoughts ....

The great thing about this online message board is that it is anonymous. Nobody here knows who you are. The advantage in that is that you can say anything you want -- things you couldn't say to those right there in the room with you. Nobody here will hold you responsible for anything you say. You can change your mind later. You can rant / rage / vent / whatever. Whatever you feel / think right now is subject to change down the road based on your future experience and new information. In other words, this is just a place to process and assimilate what you know now.

Finally, there is no end to most of life's journeys. They just go on along paths we never have trod before, even when there are sharp turns along the way and it seems we've crossed the border into a foreign land. What I mean is we're never "through" or "finished" or "graduated." We just move on to the next phase. As my mother who died a few weeks ago used to say to me, "Honey, I don't know. I've never been this age before / I've never faced this kind of thing before."

Like her, I am now more willing to admit I don't yet know what I'm just now learning.

(((hugs)))

[mommy319 31]

Sorry to hear about your son. I've prayed for you all. Take care of yourself.

[4MRB4PHOTO 3,900]

I am very sorry to read this about your son.

You need to take care of yourself, your son and family need you now more than ever.

I hope and pray that your son will be ok.

[freemommy×4 65]

Sorry to hear about your son! Prayers for you and your family!

[jane13 2,256]

@@Mom26 - how are you and your son doing?

[IncredibleShrinkingMan 437]

Please take care of yourself. I think many people misunderstand the true benefit of the sleeve as a "tool." Yes, the patient needs to do the work to change his/her ways, and yes, it is impossible to completely circumvent the sleeve and make the surgery for naught, but I think this story highlights what is important. food therapy was what got us here, and it seems like you know that in a difficult time such as when you heard this news about your son, this would've been your go-to solution. Now, this solution is not available, and therefore, you will not jeopardize your health by engaging in these behaviors. I think at two weeks out it is still understandable, under any set of circumstances, that you would not be able to have the allowed portion sizes. But I that is just temporary. Using food as a coping tool is so yesterday, and you should take great pleasure in the fact that despite what you are going through in your family, you have already scored a huge victory with the sleeve.

[Stephanie_K 47]

My word. I will place your son and your family in my prayers. Keep your faith and don't give up. Much love.

[barbb3 115]

Wishing for the best outcome for your son. Stay strong & take care of yourself too!

[Mom26 313]

@@jane13

He had his first of 12 chemo treatments from Monday-Wednesday of this week. Each treatment is 48 hours long. Yesterday was a difficult day for him. His body is beyond exhausted. But today he was back at work and said he felt better than he has in awhile.

Again, thank you all for such kind words, compassion, thoughts, prayers, stories. <3

[Daisy Girl 38]

Your story is touching. I also have three grown sons and my heart breaks for him, for you and your family. Please be sure to take care of yourself. Prayers for you all.