Partners and spouses?

[Cheeselife 68]

Mine is very good, but I'm not sure he realizes how much things will need to change.

For those who are on the other side, how did you prepare your partner? What did you wish you'd done or said?

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

I just told him everything I knew. Then I took him to my consultation with the surgeon. And then I hauled his ass to an educational seminar (after I'd decided to do it).

He said, "I'll support you in anything you want to do." And he has. 100%. He's pretty wonderful.

[newmebithebypass 713]

He watched the seminar video with me and met the Surgeon and the rest of my team

[jane13 2,256]

same here. hubby has been on board since day one.

[Cheeselife 68]

Mine is very supportive, he'll do whatever I ask, but I'm worried that he'll miss our weekly pizza night, or maybe I won't want to cook for a while and they'll have to have frozen meals. My hospital has a seminar online but it's very vague, nothing specific. My hubs works crazy Manhattan hours so won't be able to come with me to any appointments before the surgery. Do you have an online video you'd recommend as a good grounding in what to expect?

He's had his appendix out so has some understanding of surgery recovery, but is there anything I should warn him about or ask him for for those first few days home?

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[Peacefulfish Joe 1]

We sss

[Peacefulfish Joe 1]

My Dr suggested the vertcle sleeve because of medical problems. I went to the information meeting andca visit with the surgeon my wife wasn't interested in going with me. I decided to go for surgery my wife got mad we have went from fighting about my decision to the silent treatment to wherever are at now talking after4 weeks. She worries I will loose weight than leave her. I have been trying to make her understand I have not left her cheated on her or abused her in 46 years of marriage why would I start now. She says I did not talk to her about the surgery and make a joint decision. I told her it's is a decision I had to make for my survival she is not happy she is talking more postive. I am beingb selfish in iin making this decision the first timtime in 46 years

[Cheeselife 68]

I'm so sorry you're in this position, you really are stuck between a rock and a hard place. I can sympathize with your side, my husband gets upset if I make decisions without including him in my thought processes.

It sounds like she needs reassurance. Are you able to find new ways to spend time together, maybe suggest going for a walk every evening, even if only to the end of the street, or around the block? She'll appreciate that you want to spend more time with her and it will help both of your health too.

Did you find any support groups near you? Maybe you could go to one together? She might meet other spouses further along her journey who can reassure her.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Good for you, @@Peacefulfish Joe ....

Information helps. Counseling may be necessary, too. Sounds like maybe there are some things she needs to work through with you.

But you get to make the decisions about your health. That part is unnegotiable.

[Fat2Phat2016 541]

My husband is so supportive that we are on this journey together. He had his VSG a week ago and mine is in a little over a week from now. ☺️

Edited November 29, 2015 by Fat2Phat2016

[Peacefulfish Joe 1]

I guess I EFT one thing out don't want to complain. I am my wife's full time caregiver she has been disabled in a wheel chair for 24 years five years ago she had a stroke leaving herewith no long term memory limited short term memory some communication problems. I have explained and her doctor has explained what will be done to me.

I can't or won't make an issue that the bottom line I am having surgery because I have never known one day in my life as a normal person. I was 200 pound plus at 10 year old . Second and as important I don't want to die I have to stay alive as long as I can so my wife has someone to care for her. No way I want her ever in a nursing home. I don't like telling people about this too much because I do not want anyone to feel bad or feel sorry about the situation . I will make no excuses for my weigh problems it is all on me. Thank You