Is my goal just a number I should let go of?

[Lallylocks 111]

So, I am down 180 pounds since I started this journey...130 of that since being sleeved last September 24th. I set a goal weight pre-operatively of 180 pounds. I am 36, 5'8", and have a fairly sturdy frame (yay viking blood). I picked 180, wanting to be safely below 200 pounds. I am 15 pounds from that goal. I am now able to wear a size 12 and anywhere from a medium to large up top, and large to extra large on the bottom. Last time I was this size was before junior high! I am really happy at this size. I've got droopy skin and a squishy midsection yet, but my face, neck, shoulders, forearms and hands are looking almost gaunt (for me). I don't really mind if I stay this size, and I am actually a little afraid of getting too scrawny looking in the above mentioned areas. I am going to see my family doctor and talk with her about this, but am interested to know what those who have reached goal and are maintaining think. Should I keep fighting for this last 15, or should I focus on maintenance? Is this just a number I'm hung up on? Thanks!    

[Kindle 8,667]

First off, congratulations on an amazing job. You look fabulous and have obviously been very dedicated.

Goal weights are usually just random numbers. You can stay where you're at if you are happy and healthy there, or keep losing if that's what you want to do. I just quit losing when I quit losing, it just so happened to be below my randomly picked goal weight. I do have to be very mindful in order to stay at this weight, though. I could easily bounce back up, but I've made the choice now to "fight" to stay where I'm at.

So are you struggling to lose at this point, or are the pounds still slowly coming off? As long as you are eating on plan and feel you can continue to lose then go for it. But if you are unhappy trying to lose more and don't think you look good, then stay where you are and enjoy life for awhile...that's why we did this, right?

But really it's not an all or nothing decision you have to make right now. It's not like maintenance is "irreversible". You can always buckle down agin at some point and lose those extra 15 pounds if and when you want to.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

This is tough. I had always been overweight or obese so being under 200# was like a dream. My goal was to hit that and maintain. However, when I got there I felt I could do more. I reset my goal to 158... which meant losing a nice round 150#! I am awesome at this weight (which happens to be my current weight) but I got down to 140 (and felt like hell) but a part of me wants that skinny look again. I have never felt so anxious and unhealthy as I did at that weight yet I still want it again....

It is totally a headtrip and my friends have helped me. My good friend is 2" taller, weighs less than me but wears bigger sizes and looks more overweight. She gave me a big reality check... she has a tiny bone structure, don't use the scale as the guide (I do use it for accountability) but use your look and health as a guide.

So the real question is - are you healthy? Do you look good (based on pix. I would say yes!). The scale is just one of many measures.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

@@CowgirlJane said it very well. A single metric isn't sufficient to describe the success we have in creating our best selves.

Years ago I read that the actress Carole Lombard's waist measurement (29") wasnot what you'd expect of someone in that era who looked like she did.

We truly cannot compare our looks to others' based solely on one metric. There's so much variation -- age, bone structure, muscle mass, physical fitness -- even the lengths and girths of our necks, arms, legs, torsos, etc. Also, our postures and "how we carry ourselves" makes a world of difference in how we appear.

But to your question of whether you should (or shouldn't) go for your goal weight, speaking SOLELY for myself (I'm only 15+ months post-op), I have truly enjoyed reaching the weight I'm at now (138 pounds at 5'5").

I won't be surprised at all if down the road I regain 5-10 pounds. At my age, height and build, I'll be very, very happy weighing anything under 150 pounds.

[Susan Lewis 25]

Lolly locks. I am havin surgery in two weeks Time. I haven't weighed myself in months. Too afraid t. I intend not t have a goal weight, but go by how I feel and my dress size. One I reach a size I am happy wit I will prob have t weigh and try t maintain that size. I think you should assess how u feel at this moment and decide if ur happy with it or not I have been obsessed with weighing in th past and would get so down if scales went up. But as we know the female body retains Water certain times of the month, can weigh differently am or pm, and can change every day. I can't b doing with this, so in the hopefully not too far distance I will prob regulate by how my clothes feel on me. Best wishes xx

[Bandista 7,466]

Hi there, we are in the same boat -- thanks for posting as this is so much on my mind. I had an original goal of 148 which I now know would be much too thin for me. That was exactly 100 pounds down from my day-of-surgery weight. More recently I reset my goal for 158, thinking I would just vow to always remain under 160 -- that that's when the alarm bells would ring out -- but now I'm in the seventies and suspect twenty more pounds down would make me too skinny. I am also tall and large-boned, etc., and I like having my curves. But I've still got some belly and could stand to lose a bit more plus tone, tone, tone. Working on that aspect of it now, whilst enjoying the size 10 pants. That is pretty amazing and I Celebrate it every day. I have a couple of pairs of pants that don't fit right quite yet, so that's the angle I'm working right now: workout to be lithe enough for those pants and then reassess. Good luck with all; you've done so well. Here's to health and happiness!

[Djmohr 6,965]

Honestly this is a tough question to answer and I have battled back and forth on this.

I chose my goal weight because it was on the high side of an ideal weight and bmi for someone my height.

As I get close to my goal, currently within 13lbs, I am looking pretty darn good. There are places where I hope no more weight comes off (butt &boobs), and there are others where I still need to lose some weight(upper arms , stomach and thighs.

I have decided I will push to no longer be overweight on the bmi scale and give myself a little room for that 10 to 15lb regain that happens over time.

That may mean initially I am a little thinner than I would like.

[Julie norton 2,850]

I say whatever makes you feel right in this world. I like to go by fitness and size pants. That is a good bellwether for me.

I don't like the old insurance charts. I like to be in a comfortable and most important. Maintainable. Size. That's my deal and I'm healthy and happy

In less than 2 weeks. I will have been banded 9 years. THAT I am very thankful for????????

[ACV 34]

Since it's basically up to each individual on how much weight you lose I'm trying not to stress, but according to the the calculation for bypass I should lose 111 lbs. I am 5 9 315 lbs. That would put me around 180-190 lbs. My ideal weight for good BMI is 125-169 lbs. For the sleeve and lap band are even less weight loss. What the heck?

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[Kindle 8,667]

Since it's basically up to each individual on how much weight you lose I'm trying not to stress, but according to the the calculation for bypass I should lose 111 lbs. I am 5 9 315 lbs. That would put me around 180-190 lbs. My ideal weight for good BMI is 125-169 lbs. For the sleeve and lap band are even less weight loss. What the heck?

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What "calculation for bypass" are you looking at?

[Cupcake 801]

I think it's good to set a goal and strive for it if your healthy and happy I am 5 feet 11 and my goal was 175 now I'm 168 and love it . Now I will maintain that goal and continue to work out weekly to maintain it, we all know how easy it is putting on the weight and it's hard as hell getting rid of it . Good luck do what's best for you and what' make you happy . Congrats on your weight lost .

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

So, I am down 180 pounds since I started this journey...130 of that since being sleeved last September 24th. I set a goal weight pre-operatively of 180 pounds. I am 36, 5'8", and have a fairly sturdy frame (yay viking blood). I picked 180, wanting to be safely below 200 pounds. I am 15 pounds from that goal. I am now able to wear a size 12 and anywhere from a medium to large up top, and large to extra large on the bottom. Last time I was this size was before junior high! I am really happy at this size. I've got droopy skin and a squishy midsection yet, but my face, neck, shoulders, forearms and hands are looking almost gaunt (for me). I don't really mind if I stay this size, and I am actually a little afraid of getting too scrawny looking in the above mentioned areas. I am going to see my family doctor and talk with her about this, but am interested to know what those who have reached goal and are maintaining think. Should I keep fighting for this last 15, or should I focus on maintenance? Is this just a number I'm hung up on? Thanks! ImageUploadedByBariatricPal1448516073.306798.jpg ImageUploadedByBariatricPal1448516109.941218.jpg ImageUploadedByBariatricPal1448516143.308989.jpg ImageUploadedByBariatricPal1448516162.367365.jpg

Congratulations on the weight loss. You look great!

I am nowhere near my "goal" weight so take this with a grain of salt.

In choosing my "goal" weight, I pretty much pulled a number out of the air. I have NEVER been anywhere near that number so I have no idea if it's a good one or not.

As I get closer to that number I am sure I will have to come up with something more REALISTIC (either higher or lower) based on input from a variety of professionals. I know that some of the variables that go into that number will be: 1) muscle/fat ratio, 2) how much excess skin I have, 3) how I feel, 4) where my body wants to be, and 5) how I look.

Height, frame, muscle mass, etc. seem to me to be better measurements than just the number on the scale.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I dont follow your meaning. there are statistical averages of excess weight lost, but your individual results are quite likely within your control.... plenty of people lose and maintain at a normal size/weight.

Since it's basically up to each individual on how much weight you lose I'm trying not to stress, but according to the the calculation for bypass I should lose 111 lbs. I am 5 9 315 lbs. That would put me around 180-190 lbs. My ideal weight for good BMI is 125-169 lbs. For the sleeve and lap band are even less weight loss. What the heck?

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[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

If she she is talking about this calculator...

http://www.obesitycoverage.com/weight-loss-surgeries/gastric-bypass/how-much-can-i-expect-to-lose

It is just an estimate on excess weight loss. It isn't the law. I think it is just useful for evaluating the differences between surgeries. People think that weight loss with bypass is massively more, when it really isn't. When you see the difference in print and think about the intestine reroute, I think it can help make a difference.

When I read the OP, I was really hoping the OP came back with an update

Anyway, that calculator says my expected weight loss is 225, but I am still 5 months short of a year, and I am within 40lbs of that that number, so I am sure I will blow right past it. Getting kind of excited because measurement/clothing wise I am going to end up much smaller than I thought at a higher weight.

[ACV 34]

This is the calculator I found.

http://www.obesitycoverage.com/gastric-bypass-vs-gastric-sleeve-surgery/

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