Angry & Regretful?

[gwiggles 8]

I am just starting the process, and won't be having surgery until June 2016, and I'm really excited. I understand that it is going to be hard, really, really hard sometimes and that this just isn't for a year or two, that this is for a lifetime.

However, I met a woman recently who had the surgery 5 years ago, she has kept her weight off and looks pretty good. But, she seemed really angry about the whole thing and kept saying how incredibly hard it was and I started wondering if she regretted going through with it. Do some people regret it?

I would love to know how some of you feel who have had the surgery and lived with it successfully for a couple of years. I'm so looking forward to this, but to be honest her attitude kind of scared me. I don't want to turn into an old crab, I like being happy, laughing, and making people smile.

Any information would be wonderful.

Kim

[dhrguru 1,238]

If you search up regrets, I'm sure you'll find plenty of threads. Yeah many have regrets, usually they are because of complications. However, I've seen many with complications still say they are grateful for the surgery since they are probably still better off then where they would have been had they not lost any weight.

If i had to guess, she hasn't really worked though her 'head issues' about eating/not being able to eat/indulge in certain things. Without getting the mindset in check-- its an uphill battle for the rest of your life.

[mark1733 224]

Im sure some people will be angry no matter what. I wish I had done it sooner. Its a lifestyle change and if you have the WLS and continue to feed yourself junk and not follow the plan I guess you will be angry too. I am a new person because of this. Good luck

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

Some people do seem to regret the surgery, but it's usually briefly while they are still recovering from surgery. Most everyone I know personally and on this forum (which is self-selecting) seems to be happy with their decision with one or two exceptions.

I think the folks who have the biggest difficulty are those who:

experience significant physical complications (whether related to surgery or not);

those who have unrealistic expectations and think the surgery is going to magically make them slim, healthy, and happy without any effort on their part;

those who struggle with significant issues (like addictions, mental illness, marital problems, etc.) who think that surgery will magically cure all their ills;

And/or, those who are just generally unhappy with everything.

There is a reason a psych eval is required for most of us. Issues like those listed above won't bar us from having surgery, but it is extremely helpful to identify areas where we may need extra help.

I encourage you not to put too much weight on one person's experience when making your decision. Talk to lots of people (on here and in support groups) so you can make your decision based on a full range of experiences.

[mark1733 224]

@@Inner Surfer Girl Basically what I was going to type but it would have taken me 45 minutes to do so

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

P.S., I haven't regretted it for a second.

[gpmed 623]

Ditto what @@Inner Surfer Girl said. From talking to others who have had the surgery both in my regular life and online, it seems the vast majority are very happy they did it. So many say they only regret not doing it sooner. Just make sure you do as much research as possible on the procedure and lifestyle changes required. It definitely helps to have realistic expectations going in and know it's going to require quite a bit of effort on your part to be successful. Good luck!

[James Marusek 5,244]

Within life there are trade-offs. Generally there are two sides to a coin and it is good to look at both sides. For me, having RNY was one of the best decisions I ever made. I had to trade "my love of food" for "good health" and I made the right decision.

If you want to see my impression of the process (I am 30 months post-op) here are a couple articles which I wrote about the process. I will also give you a link to a before and 6-month post op photo.

http://www.breadandbutterscience.com/Surgery.pdf

http://www.breadandbutterscience.com/Surgery2.pdf

http://www.breadandbutterscience.com/Operation.jpg

[The Candidate 3,215]

I'm only four months out, and my problem is I can't stop smiling. It is worth every trade off I have made. Truly a second chance at life.

[Djmohr 6,965]

I am 14 months post iop and like many others I only regret not doing it sooner.

It is the best of thing I have ever done for myself.

[gwiggles 8]

I want to thank everyone that answered my post. It has helped so much. I have done a lot of thinking, and I've come to the conclusion that I just had a case of cold feet. I have been thinking about this for five years, and finally decided that I was ready to do it, knew I could, needed, and wanted to do it!

You have all brought back to me the reasons why I decided to do it in the first place. I can't tell you how much I appreciate that.

Also, I'm a naturally happy person, I have no idea what I was thinking, worrying about becoming a crabby butt!