I need a little encouragement.....

[natnat919 165]

OK, I have learned a new lesson in this journey.

The first couple of months, no one really noticed my weight loss until I hit the 45 pounds lost mark (about 3 months out), then all of a sudden everyone was noticing, complimenting, pointing and gasping!

Tomorrow will be my 5 month surgiversary, I've had an easy journey with no pain, sickness, nausea and I'm already 10 pounds away from my ultimate goal. Great news, right?

I have realized that being thin doesn't equate happiness. Now, people are used to seeing me at this weight and I don't get the constant compliments as I did before. I'm finding myself slipping back into old negative thoughts, old habits and such. I didn't get my mind right............along with my body. I thought if I lost the weight, my smile and inner happiness would miraculously come along with it. But I still have this "fat girl" mind inside the thin body.

I am such a blessed person, but how do I turn this around and turn the negatives in my life into a positive? I can't afford regular counseling..... does anyone know of a great book that helps?

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

Congratulations on the weight loss!

I think it is common to think that being thin will solve all of our problems. But,, doing the mental/emotional work is the hard part.

I don't know what your specific issues are, but a good general book about dealing with the psychological aspects of weight loss surgery is: Eat It Up!. I also think there is a workbook that goes along with it.

There are quite a few Weight Loss Surgery books if you do a search on Amazon.< /p>

If your issues are good addiction, Genene Roth books are good. If it's codependency, then Melody Beattie books are helpful. Not WLS-related, but if you have issues setting boundaries, then I recommend a book called The One Life Solution.

I understand that money is tight, but I would encourage you to seek out counseling. Some therapists work on a sliding scale.

See if your surgeon, hospital, or even another surgeon or hospital has a Bariatric Support group, many of those are free and open to anyone.

Consider exploring a 12-step recover, or other self-help group, like OA (www.oa.org -- the website has meeting lists, podcasts, articles, literature, etc.).

I hope this helps. Please keep us posted on how you are doing.

In addition to the above-suggestions, there are lots of other strategies you can use: volunteer work, tapping into your creativity, etc. that will be addressed in the above-referenced reading and resources.

[2goldengirl 2,076]

I don't know about books, but is there a bariatric surgery support group in your area? You definitely aren't alone. It's a common theme, we think that something: finding the right mate, getting thin, getting that dream job - will make us happy, and that everything will be a cartoon "happily ever after" once we get it.

But real life doesn't work that way, happiness is a choice. It's an inside job. You say you're blessed, which is a perfect place to start. I'm sure achieving your weight loss has increased your blessings, too - you can do things you couldn't do before, for example.

One thing you can do right now. Get out paper and start making a list. What makes you happy? Rainy days? walking in the park or woods? Reading a good book? Spending time with loved ones? Making something with your hands? What do you love about your life?

Everyone has their blue days. But the truth is, all the wonderful things that you love about your life are still real and true, even on your blue days.

[purz59 57]

My psychiatrist is concerned this could happen to me too, so I did start therapy. I think it will really benefit me. I found someone who works on a sliding scale that sees me for $40 per session. Of course this group is great for support too. I'm on here as much as I can. A local support group like I am fortunate enough to have is also a great idea. Best wishes...

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,444]

@@natnat919 -- You're doing so well in two ways: Obviously, the weight loss and recognizing that there's other work that needs doing.

If I may, it sounds as though you've derived your identify and value from the views of other people. Those sources necessarily provide only a vague outline of a person. As @@2goldengirl said, we come from within -- from knowing who we are, what we want, what's important to us, our places in the world, and on forever.

GoldenGirl and @@Inner Surfer Girl have given you some excellent suggestions. I'd like to add a book, a workbook developed as a guide to taking stock, "The Weight Loss Surgery Coping Companion: A Practical Guide for Coping with Post-Surgery Emotions," by Tanie Miller Kabala, a psychologist who works with people who have had or are heading to surgery. If you get the print version (I understand it's also an ebook), use a notebook for the exercises; keep the book clean so that you can go back to it any time as things keep changing. (Full disclosure: I received a review copy so that people who attend my clothing exchange can take a look. I have no involvement with it and no financial interest.)

You can also try the website shrinkyourself.com, also put up by a psychologist, Roger Gould. It deals with emotional eating and much more, including making the mental and emotional adjustments. There is an option for the free, emailed newsletters as well as a pay version and Dr. Gould's book, neither of which I'm familiar with).

[onesleevedmamma 178]

I totally understand!