Got my date, feeling worried!

[Cheeselife 68]

I was so sure I'd have more of a battle, it's a shock to be approved and have a date! Now the reality is gradually settling on me and the worries are making themselves known.

My current biggest worry is a surprise, after so long wishing I wasn't so fat, I'm now honestly worried about being slim, like I'll miss being fat, or won't know how to dress or act.

I thought I'd be worried about the surgery itself, but I'm not so far. That will come, I'm sure.

I'm worried about diet before and after, I'm trying to see it as divorce from an abusive relationship, which helps. It will be strange to have to learn how to cook and eat again, and how to enjoy family meals in a new way. I'm married with 2 children and I cook from scratch every day.

None of this is new, I know, but it's new to me! Please feel free to tell me to shut up and deal!!

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

You feelings are not unusual. Many have them. It's a new body that for some may mean learning an new way of life. If you are feeling really nervous, you may want to seek out counseling.

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,444]

I was so sure I'd have more of a battle, it's a shock to be approved and have a date! Now the reality is gradually settling on me and the worries are making themselves known.

My current biggest worry is a surprise, after so long wishing I wasn't so fat, I'm now honestly worried about being slim, like I'll miss being fat, or won't know how to dress or act.

I thought I'd be worried about the surgery itself, but I'm not so far. That will come, I'm sure.

I'm worried about diet before and after, I'm trying to see it as divorce from an abusive relationship, which helps. It will be strange to have to learn how to cook and eat again, and how to enjoy family meals in a new way. I'm married with 2 children and I cook from scratch every day.

None of this is new, I know, but it's new to me! Please feel free to tell me to shut up and deal!!

The worst I'll ever tell you is to shut up and eat your vegetables. This is new to you, therefore, new again in the world. It's like a collective Groundhog Day.

Your fear of being slim is common. There are many things that may go into it, including fear of the [at least long-term] unknown and fear of giving up the shield, cumbersome as it is. You've already devised a "divorce" and, because it is helping, it's great. It can take time to work through the real emotions or even to uncover them. That's okay. At some point you may want to work with a therapist. There are also print and online resources. Try http://shrinkyourself.com

the website of psychologist Roger Gould. It's about emotional eating and emotions related to weight and weight control overall. The site offers a pay version and, of course, sells Dr. Gould's book, but you can stick with the free emailed newsletters if you register.

Another is a guided workbook, "The Weight Loss Surgery Coping Companion: A Practical Guide for Coping with Post-Surgery Emotions," by Tanie Miller Kabala, also a psychologist. It might even be useful to you now, before surgery. Because things keep changing through the journey, I suggest using a notebook for the exercises. Keeping the book itself clean makes it easier to revisit it as needed. [Full disclosure: My WLS NP gave me her copy to look through while I was waiting for my appt. I requested a review copy from Dr. Kabala so that the people who attend the clothing exchange I organize could browse through it. I have no role in sales and no financial interest.]

What you're experiencing now is expected and manageable.

[Amy Wolfe 49]

My date is 12/14/15. I feel you.

[zahlis 8]

thanks so much for the info for support! I joined the Shrinkyourself.com and bought the ebook by Dr. Tanie. I've been a mess but feel hope now. My insurance company approved me and I go in for an EGD Dec. 9th. I'm expecting to be scheduled soon. I went all through the WLS process 2 years ago and backed out. Now 30 pounds heavier I'm back to it. I've reached out on this site and unfortunately never gotten support and have felt so lost. Thanks again for the much needed material.

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,444]

@@zahlis -- Congratulations on being approved. Keep reaching out because the early stages can be confusing. A lot of us turn dopey and insecure -- as though we've been told we have low IQ's -- even when the instructions are clear as can be. It gets better soon enough. Start attending the support group your practice offers; if it doesn't have a group. check other medical centers in your area. Virtually all, as far as I know, welcome patients from the competition. Sitting face to face in a group small enough for everyone to speak if they choose wonderful. I've gained a good friendship that goes beyond what took us to the same room 6 1/2 years ago.

I didn't know that the book is available in "e" version, but I suppose most things are.

Edited November 21, 2015 by WLSResources/ClothingExch