What did you tell people about your absence?

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,444]

@@Good apple --

Very good about "changed my diet and increased activity." It's all true.

Why not "vacation time" -- just loafing around and doing things close to home? It's partly true and, in this case, true enough. Let it be known beforehand that you'll be out. Disappearing without a word implies some sort of medical or emergency situation.

Edited December 4, 2015 by WLSResources/ClothingExch

[livvsmum 2,369]

Tell them what you are comfortable with. I only told one friend at work and she never would tell anyone else. I simply said that I have to take a medical leave. No one asked questions. They may have speculated between themselves, but no one came right out and asked me. The only one I had to tell was just the person in HR simply because it was written on my FMLA paperwork that I had to file.

As the weight started falling off rapidly, that is a different story. While people are not likely to straight out ask you why you went on a medical leave, they will have NO problem pestering you non-stop about how you are losing so much weight. There was one secretary at my work who asked me literally every single day for months what I was doing. It got to the point where I would just altogether avoid her.

My response has always been that I cut out sugar, wheat, and flour, eat lots and lots of Protein, lots of Water, and I started running. None of these things are lies. :-)

[L.Harmony 64]

I had my surgery on October 28th. But was originally scheduled for Sept 18th. I already had FMLA papers on file, for my severe depression. I was planning on covering my surgery with my fmla papers, saying I needed a week or two.

But then i went to the podiatrist, I was having issues with my feet and got fed up with it. I had a feeling I would need surgery on my feet, for the plantar fasciitis and heel spurs. When I went to the podiatrist I found out I had extreme cases of both and messed up genetics in my feet. So I ended up getting scheduled for foot surgery on September 2. Which then pushed my RNY surgery to October.

Last Tuesday I went to work to drop off my doctor release form. Everyone asked me what I was doing and how much weight I had lost. I had lost some weight before foot surgery. So i told then I had only lost another 15 pounds since being off. I then reminded them that they only see me in my uniform. I also told them I haven't bought any new clothes (true hate clothes shopping). I also told them my doctor changed one of my medication (which is true, I was taken off medication), told them my doctor had gotten my hormones under controlled. (I have polycystic ovarian syndrome) which is also true, surgery helped with that as well.

I guess tell them what you think is best. My job is full of gossip and negatively. I work as a Correctional Officer in a Juvenile prison. Adolescent kids are hateful. I've been there almost 7 years I've gotten used to them being disrespectful about my weight. I've become numb to their hate fullness. Plus I

had my surgery for myself, and do not need hate interfering with my progress or feelings about it.

So I guess what I'm saying is think about your environment you work in, assess what you can live with and what you can't.

You did the surgery for yourself no one else. I agree, lying is not a great idea, (make sure you don't put negatively in the universe) but ask yourself what can I live with? Do I want this to be an experience everyone can see and experience with me? Or are you a private person? But really try and tell as much truth as you can.

Just my thoughts. Hope all works out for you.

[Good apple 29]

I had my surgery on October 28th. But was originally scheduled for Sept 18th. I already had FMLA papers on file, for my severe depression. I was planning on covering my surgery with my fmla papers, saying I needed a week or two.

But then i went to the podiatrist, I was having issues with my feet and got fed up with it. I had a feeling I would need surgery on my feet, for the plantar fasciitis and heel spurs. When I went to the podiatrist I found out I had extreme cases of both and messed up genetics in my feet. So I ended up getting scheduled for foot surgery on September 2. Which then pushed my RNY surgery to October.

Last Tuesday I went to work to drop off my doctor release form. Everyone asked me what I was doing and how much weight I had lost. I had lost some weight before foot surgery. So i told then I had only lost another 15 pounds since being off. I then reminded them that they only see me in my uniform. I also told them I haven't bought any new clothes (true hate clothes shopping). I also told them my doctor changed one of my medication (which is true, I was taken off medication), told them my doctor had gotten my hormones under controlled. (I have polycystic ovarian syndrome) which is also true, surgery helped with that as well.

I guess tell them what you think is best. My job is full of gossip and negatively. I work as a Correctional Officer in a Juvenile prison. Adolescent kids are hateful. I've been there almost 7 years I've gotten used to them being disrespectful about my weight. I've become numb to their hate fullness. Plus I

had my surgery for myself, and do not need hate interfering with my progress or feelings about it.

So I guess what I'm saying is think about your environment you work in, assess what you can live with and what you can't.

You did the surgery for yourself no one else. I agree, lying is not a great idea, (make sure you don't put negatively in the universe) but ask yourself what can I live with? Do I want this to be an experience everyone can see and experience with me? Or are you a private person? But really try and tell as much truth as you can.

Just my thoughts. Hope all works out for you.

ms. Lharmony, Thank you for the share. I hear you on taking the environment into account. The climate at my work can be dicey, while most are okay there are several people who love to gossip and back bite more than life! (Seems to me.)

If it was a nice supportive place, it'd be different. While I don't like the idea of creating some grand lie or putting more bad out there, I'm also not someone who is comfortable with lots of witches up in my business.

I hope you are well since your surgery.

Tell them what you are comfortable with. I only told one friend at work and she never would tell anyone else. I simply said that I have to take a medical leave. No one asked questions. They may have speculated between themselves, but no one came right out and asked me. The only one I had to tell was just the person in HR simply because it was written on my FMLA paperwork that I had to file.

As the weight started falling off rapidly, that is a different story. While people are not likely to straight out ask you why you went on a medical leave, they will have NO problem pestering you non-stop about how you are losing so much weight. There was one secretary at my work who asked me literally every single day for months what I was doing. It got to the point where I would just altogether avoid her.

My response has always been that I cut out sugar, wheat, and flour, eat lots and lots of Protein, lots of Water, and I started running. None of these things are lies. :-)

Ms. Livvsmum, I appreciate the notation about pesky co-workers. I have many who I believe will hound me to near death on a daily basis about the to be wt loss! They do it now with other people when it's 30 or 40 lbs.

To make matters worse none of them (with one exception) are not really heavy. They complain about an extra 10-20 lbs (and I recognize it's all relative....one day I hope to be within 10-20 where I want to be) and will be all over me like a cheap suit about wt loss.

Thank you too for the reply!

[M!@ 320]

After 10 years of work with no vacation, I say it is fitting to say you are taking time off for yourself. I called mine a me-cation. Though I was only out two days, a Friday and Monday, so I had the weekend. I know it sounds crazy that I went right back, but in my current position, I had the option to extend time off if necessary, though it wasn't needed.

For me though, I wanted to stick to as close to the truth as possible. which I have been able to do thus far. During the pre-op diet and liquid diet phase, intermittent fasting.

Just say what will most appropriate for you. But I believe another poster said it, announce the time out, don't just leave them to speculate.

[Tammweaver 3]

Please don't lie. People lie about things they are ashamed of and this is something to be celebrated and proud of. The lies will cause so much more gossip, since people will know. I haven't seen anyone yet who had bariatric surgery that everyone didn't figure it out. IF you own the release of information you remain in control of the negative comments and gossipers. Good luck.

[JourneyInside 9]

I haven't told anyone at work except one friend. I was off for ten days over thanksgiving so it helped that it was over a holiday. I just said I was taking a staycation and visiting some friends around. Nobody has asked, although someone asked what I ate over thanksgiving and I did have to lie about that. Also, I had to do a pre-op diet so I told everyone I was Oman elimination diet. Time to get healthy.

[dietbelle 36]

I agree it would be wonderful to be upfront and tell the whole truth. But really..come on.. I am not sure about you but I certainly am over the cruel fat jokes. Can you imagine people at work when you say I had 80% of my stomach cut away. I think I know how my colleagues will react with absolute horror. Then the snide remarks about how I didn't have the will power to diet and exercise! No I will keep to the gall bladder story. It's more feasible for me and as my weight drops off ( I hope) I intend to say that I am very careful what I put in my mouth after my,op. If I have to go in for an actual gallstone op. Then I may say it was my appendix. But no way am I telling the people I work with that I am having a sleeve. The only people I have told so far are my immediate family because I live with them they love me big or small and are very supportive. The judgemental ones who push for answers I will lie to. I am just so over being the fat woman.

[VMS1990 30]

I told my cloest friends and family. A few work employees just because I had to have coverage when I'm gone. The other people they will figure it out. Really it isn't none of their business. You will find who are your true friends are.

[L.Harmony 64]

I agree it would be wonderful to be upfront and tell the whole truth. But really..come on.. I am not sure about you but I certainly am over the cruel fat jokes. Can you imagine people at work when you say I had 80% of my stomach cut away. I think I know how my colleagues will react with absolute horror. Then the snide remarks about how I didn't have the will power to diet and exercise! No I will keep to the gall bladder story. It's more feasible for me and as my weight drops off ( I hope) I intend to say that I am very careful what I put in my mouth after my,op. If I have to go in for an actual gallstone op. Then I may say it was my appendix. But no way am I telling the people I work with that I am having a sleeve. The only people I have told so far are my immediate family because I live with them they love me big or small and are very supportive. The judgemental ones who push for answers I will lie to. I am just so over being the fat woman.

I agree some people can not handle being told the truth. My work environment is to negative and has to many people worried about things that do not concerned them. I will also be sticking to my simple explanations. But I also had foot surgery which explained why I was away from work. Fingers crossed that you will not need future surgeries.

[mcraven83 22]

I'm glad I'm not the only one who didn't want to confess the whole truth to everyone. I told people I was having a hernia repair which I did at the same time. Some of my family knows and some friends. But not everyone needs to know my business.

[L.Harmony 64]

I can only think of 7 people I told about my surgery. I know for sure it's under 10.

And one by default (sister boyfriend)

1 I told the day of surgery, (thank you pain killers) but she brought a friend with her.

I originally only told 4 people.

[Amy Wolfe 49]

Told them the truth. Lol

[mum2dkl 15]

I am normally a very private person, but I knew once I started losing weight so rapidly there would just be too many questions. My biggest fear was people would think I was ill and not being straight up. And I didn't want to worry my friends and loved ones. So what I did was this. I waited until I had my surgery date and then posted this to Facebook:

"My dear Facebook friends,

A few of you know, and most of you don't, I will be having gastric sleeve weight loss surgery a week from today. This is something I have been researching and considering for a very long time. It is not a decision to be made lightly, as this will be life altering. It is certainly not the easy way out as some might think, and the reason I am sharing this with you is it is likely I will need your support at some point in this journey. I know some of you might have opinions about this that won't necessarily coincide with mine. That's fine. Just don't tell me. ???? Please just keep me in your thoughts as I embark on this exciting, scary, healthy new chapter of mine!"

The outpouring of support I received and am continuing to receive has made me weep. Not one negative comment, and so very much love and support. Another plus? Now I feel my friends and family know, and I am going to want to prove to them I made the right decision. I will be held accountable in a way. I'm not going to be eating a second slice of birthday cake when everyone at the party knows I'm a sleever! I am going to make them proud!

[DavidOso 272]

i thought long and hard over the "tell, don't tell" issue. my first thought was that it made me seem weak, i didn't have what it took to loose weight on my own. second thought, and my current way of thinking, yes, i needed the help of surgery, but I WANT TO LIVE! i don't tell everyone in sight, but i don't lie or try to hide it. i have many people who will come up to me and say"How many pounds lost now?" i have shopped at a big and tall store for years. i told the clerk that she wouldn't see me any more and the reason why. I thought her reply was classy" I'm glad to loose you as a customer, and gain you as another healthy person on the planet!" follow your heart, but lies have a way exposing themselves in the end.